CHAPTER 29 - Now, why would I get my girl sheet music when I can buy her dirty lingerie?

Taylor

“Do I look okay?” Brooke asked, just before I rang the doorbell of my house. I turned and looked at her. She was wearing a loose-fitting, pale blue tank top and a matching pale blue skirt with daisies on it. Her blonde hair was neatly tucked behind her ears, showing off a pair of sparkly hoops. She looked beautiful.

“Yeah, you look fine.” Understatement. Big time.

Isaac opened the door and I grinned enormously at seeing my brother again. I really miss him a lot, and I wished that there was some way to explain to him what was going on but there was just no way. Ike was so overly parental sometimes that I couldn’t risk telling him anything. I just missed the closeness of my family. And I wondered if they missed me at all.

I raised an eyebrow as Isaac sneakily looked me up and down. I was wearing a red t-shirt and faded jean shorts, but I suddenly felt rather naked.

Horn-ball.

I can’t believe my own brother checked me out!

Had it been Zac, I might have thought it less disturbing. Zac was way more obvious when it came to observing women. Looking older than his age, he tended to attract older females. And, eerily enough, I HAVE caught him checking me out every now and then. But I would just have to smack him real hard and he’d quit. But Ike? I have often thought he was comparable to Mr. Rogers when it came to his flirtation tactics. I honestly don’t know whether to be proud or disappointed.

“Hey, Ike!” I exclaimed, as Brooke smiled shyly behind me.

“Abby, right?” He asked, his brow scrunching together. “I gave you a ride home once.”

“Good memory,” I said, breezing by him and entering my house. I closed my eyes as I inhaled that wonderful “home” smell I’d missed so much. It smelled like vanilla air spray, my Mom, and a hint of Crayola crayons. God, did I miss home. “By the way, this is Brooke.”

“Come right in,” Isaac mumbled, scratching his head. He turned to Brooke and extended his hand for a handshake. “So, you DO exist! I’d heard a lot about you but never met you, so I was beginning to believe that you were a figment of Taylor’s imagination.”

Brooke looked at me strangely before looking back at Isaac. “Um, no. I’m definitely real.”

“So, how’s psychology?” I asked, resting comfortably on our recliner. I propped my feet up on the coffee table and rested my hands behind my head. “Did that girl from your class ever decide to go out with you?”

Isaac swallowed hard, trying to cover up his discomfort. “Um, yeah. How did you know about that?”

My heart sank. So much for brotherly conversations. “Oh, um, Taylor mentioned it once. Sorry.”

He shrugged. “It’s no big deal. It didn’t work out though. She wasn’t the girl I thought she was.” He paused and cleared his throat. He was looking at me oddly. I then realized that I was making myself pretty damn comfortable for someone who technically didn’t live there. I quickly took my feet off of the coffee table and sat up straight in the chair.

“So, where are Taylor and Zac?” I asked, standing up. I suddenly needed to surround myself with people that I could be myself around.

“Up in our bedroom, which is up the stairs and to the…”

Brooke and I were already up the stairs and out of earshot before Isaac finished his sentence. I knocked on the door and Abby opened it shockingly fast. Her eyes immediately darted to Brooke, to me, and then back to Brooke.

“Um, Brooke!” She exclaimed, allowing us to enter the room. “What a pleasant surprise! I didn’t know you were going to be coming over too!” She gave me a look that could be interpreted in many ways for some, but I understood the only true meaning.

“Well, Abby said that she was coming over here to do some homework so she invited me to come along,” Brooke said, setting her backpack down at her feet. She gave Abby a flirtatious smile. “I hope that’s not a problem?”

“Of course not!” Abby replied, waving her hand. “It’s not like we were gathering to plot something secretive and try to manipulate reality without anyone knowing!” This caused Zac to snort boorishly. “Of course you’re welcome here!”

“Hi, Brooke,” Zac said, who was sitting on Isaac’s bed. He stood and approached us. “Actually, do you two mind if I speak with Brooke privately? We’ll be right back.”

As soon as the door shut, Abby’s face went from overly glad to downright pissed. I gave her a feeble smile as she glared at me intensely.

“Good job, genius,” she hissed, crossing her arms over her chest. “What a great idea to bring Brooke along to our body switching party! Had I but known that you were going to invite an audience, I would have hired a caterer.” She sighed and shook her head, very upset. “How stupid can you be? Why not call Ike in here and make some fucking popcorn? We could even charge admission!”

I rolled my eyes. As per usual, Abby was too busy flying off the handle to ask me my reasoning for bringing Brooke along. “Look, I had no choice in bringing her. She’s staying at your house with me because her Dad kicked her out, and I couldn’t very well come over to this house TO SEE YOU without inviting her!”

“Wait a minute, WHAT?” She whispered, her eyes widening. “She’s staying at my house? When did this happen? How the hell did she find out where I live?”

We immediately silenced as the door opened and Zac popped his head in. “Look, Brooke and I are heading off to the mall where we will be there approximately for an hour and a half.” He sighed dramatically. “I need help buying my girlfriend a gift.”

“Ooh!” I exclaimed, excitedly. “Get me sheet music! Elton John, Billy Joel, or maybe the sheet music for some Counting Crows songs…”

“Now, why would I get my girl sheet music when I can buy her dirty lingerie?”

My first mission when I’m back to being a 6’2” guy: kicking my little brother’s pansy ass.

Zac shut the door behind him, laughing maniacally, before I could chuck anything at his pointy head.

“How could you do this to me?” Abby exclaimed, tearing up. “I ask you to do one thing for me but you’d rather please your perverted psyche!”

I was thoroughly confused to say the least. I had done something to wrong her? “What did I do?”

She looked angry enough to hit me. “When we first switched bodies, I asked you one favor. I begged you not to tell any of my new friends where I lived. The last thing I need is for all of them to realize I’m poor and view me as some kind of white trash. And what do you do? You stab me in the back like our friendship means nothing to you!”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “You really are some piece of work. You know that? For your information, I DIDN’T tell Brooke where I lived! She found out on her own and came to your doorstep, a knapsack of belongings and a broken heart! Her own father kicked her out of the house and she asked if she could stay! Who am I to turn her away? How could I be considered a friend to her if I were to ignore her in her time of need for something so stupid? She doesn’t care about petty things like that! She cares about YOU.” I laughed cynically. “Not everything is about you and your insipid insecurities.”

She shot me a pained look. “Well, if YOUR big mouth did blab, who’s did?”

“Zac’s.”

“ZAC?!?” She shouted, hysterically.

“It’s nice to know that you’re not deaf,” I muttered, putting a finger in my ear. “I don’t know if I can say the same for myself however…”

“Why would he DO that?”

I sighed. “I don’t know. Because he’s a decent human being? All Brooke said was that she called for you but you were in the shower, so Zac told her where you lived.”

She groaned loudly. “I knew I shouldn’t have ignored her phone call. Well, damn it.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “I don’t believe that you wouldn’t help her out. I know for a fact that you would never turn her away. You can act as high and mighty as you want, but you would have done the exact same thing.”

“Maybe,” she relented, scowling. “But don’t act as though you’re some prince because you’re helping out Brooke. What you’re doing is helping yourself out. You think you can fool me into believing that you are some altruistic gentleman who’s only trying to help out a damsel in distress? Please, Taylor, I am SO not fooled by your false charms. I know you wouldn’t have been so willing to help her if she was ugly or if you weren’t pathetically obsessed with her. Gee, it must be so torturous for you to actually have to share your bed with her!” She batted her eyelashes and clasped her hands together. “Gosh golly Ma, I’m sure glad we have men like that Taylor to be so kind and selfless towards us womenfolk!”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Shut up. I am not that kind of person.”

She cackled. “You are so! You know it and I know it so stop trying to come off differently.”

“Yes, I like Brooke but I’m not like that!” I insisted, getting angry. How dare she accuse me of being so shallow? I’m sensitive towards women! I’ve always been that way. Just because I feel for Brooke doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t have done the exact same thing if I’d only had platonic feelings! It disturbed me to no end having Abby think so poorly of me. “You really think I wouldn’t have done the same for you?”

Her mouth dropped. “ARE YOU CALLING ME UGLY?”

I will not reach out and strangle her. I will not reach out and strangle her.

“Christ, no! I didn’t say that at all!” I insisted, ready to pull out all my hair.

Abby glared at me. “Well, you made it sound that way. I ask you if you’d take in an ugly girl and then you ask me if I thought you wouldn’t do it for me!”

“No, I didn’t. You just took it that way because you’re insane and find fault in everything I do!” I exclaimed, excitedly. “I can’t even take a shit without you screaming at me for insulting you!”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, at least you’re not being dramatic or anything.”

“You should know!” I hollered. “You wrote the book!”

Abby opened her mouth to say something but then shut it. Her expression softened and she just stared at me for a moment before her lips curled up into a smile. “Taylor, do you realize that this is our last fight as each other.”

My determination dissipated and I cocked my head to the side. “Hey, it is, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” she said, somewhat sadly. “I’m going to miss our fights. They were really…special. No one is as petty as you.”

If that doesn’t tug at the heartstrings, I’d like to know what does.

I shrugged. “Well, gee, there’s no need to get all teary-eyed. I’m sure we’ll still fight all the time once we’re back to normal.” I slowly approached her and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her into a hug.

She rested her head on my shoulder, forcing me to push some blond hair out of my face. “As long as you promise…” She trailed off. “Taylor, you do realize that you’re hugging me, right? I just want to make sure that you’re doing it on purpose.”

I rolled my eyes and stepped back. I grabbed her hands and squeezed them excitedly. “This is it, Abby. The next time we look at each other I’m going to have to look down instead of up.”

“It’s so weird,” she replied, pushing a few strands of blond hair out of her eyes. “The next time I’ll be talking to you, you’ll be a tall, blue-eyed, blond-haired boy.” She was looking at me in a way I couldn’t decipher. There seemed to be a hint of… longing in her eyes. I suppose that she was just incredibly anxious to get back to her rightful body.

I grinned. I was so ready for this, the anticipation was almost killing me. My palms were suddenly sweating and I felt as though I couldn’t stop shaking. For so long I thought that this situation might have been permanent. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I would be stuck in Abby’s body forever. I’d tried not to dwell on it for too long, since it would only serve to terrify me.

But finally, we had finally realized how the switch had happened, therefore enabling us to come up with the antidote. The remedy is so obvious to me now that I’m embarrassed to have not come up with it previously. Thankfully, this catastrophe will all be corrected shortly.

First thing I was going to do as a boy was to talk to Brooke. Although I could hardly explain anything of what had happened, I would do my best to get my feelings out on the table. She deserved to be with the guy she thought she was with. Someone who’ll kiss her and hold her, not someone who shrinks away at the mere thought of touching her. She needed to know how I really felt about her, and more importantly, that I could be a way better boyfriend than Abby.

“Well, it was nice being you,” I said, politely. I didn’t exactly know what one said at times like these, so that will just have to do.

Abby snickered. “Yeah, right. And I’m Danny Devito.”

“Are you ready?” I asked, feeling a heavy lump of nerves start to form in the pit of my stomach. She nodded quickly in reply. I let go of her hands and just stood in front of her. She looked like a mixture of nerves, anxiety, terror, and hope- everything I was feeling too. I gave her another reassuring smile before I said, “Let’s do this.”

“On the count of three,” she said, her voice shaky. We both closed our eyes. “One, two, three…”

I took a deep breath. “I wish to be Taylor Hanson again.” I swallowed hard and summoned all of my courage. Slowly, I began to open my eyes...