CHAPTER 28~ “That’s my Taylor. Pretty to look at, slow on the uptake.”

Abby

On Tuesday I entered school with a skip in my step. Monday had been so fun that it had left me in a lighthearted mood. Ripping on Taylor, who could be as dumb as he was attractive, always made me feel all warm and tingly inside. It serves him right for not recognizing my feelings for him and falling hopelessly in love with me. Last night, after we unsuccessfully researched for a cure, Zac and I had stayed up till three in the morning reading Taylor’s story about himself as a vampire on the Internet. As much as I hate to admit it, the boy could write and I actually found myself sitting on the edge of my seat while reading it. It took all of the will power inside me not to blurt out everything to Isaac, who fell asleep at about one last night.

Today was going to be a good day. I just knew it somehow. From the moment I woke up, I’d been in an unusually chipper mood. Actually, me being chipper at all is unusual, but I digress.

Unfortunately, the moment I stepped up to Taylor’s locker, my happiness was brutally harpooned. Written in hot pink spray paint down my locker was the word “FAG.” My breath caught into my throat as everyone in the hallway just stared at me. For one moment I felt as though I was a lonely bacterium forced underneath a heated microscope. My cheeks grew hot and the hushed whispers of my classmates resounded so loudly in my head that it was if they were using microphones. Despite all that, there was only one thought that was running through my head.

How was I going to get Taylor out of this mess?

I felt a warm hand gently massage my shoulder. I turned and saw Brooke smiling weakly at me. Her hand slid down my arm and she laced her fingers between mine, squeezing firmly. I let out a heavy sigh as she turned to look at the prying crowd around us. Her eyes narrowed at them and they quickly scattered.

“I will do something about this,” she whispered, kissing me on the cheek. I just watched her angrily march down the stairs, her head high and her hands clenching into fists. People rushed to get out of her way, but were compelled to watch her saunter away.

I opened the locker and grabbed the books I needed for first period. I didn’t know what Brooke had in mind, exactly, but I was appreciative for all the help I could get. There’s no reason why Taylor should continue to suffer for my thoughtless capriciousness.

“Pink’s not exactly my color, but hey, at least it’s not orange.”

Taylor.

I wanted dive in front of the locker and hide it from him. I was so ashamed of the repercussions I’d caused. Though he was trying to joke around about it, it was so painfully obvious how affected he really was. Why couldn’t he have been absent from school today? Why did he have to see this? More importantly, why did I have to feel so damn guilty about it?

“Oh, um, hey,” I mumbled, itching the back of my neck. “Look, I’m really sorry about all this…”

Taylor shrugged, looking around at the people staring blatantly. “People have been thinking that I’m gay for years now. It’s nothing new.”

Well, damn. I didn’t think I could have felt much worse but here it is.

I watched helplessly as Taylor seemed to recoil into my side. The stares of the other kids were making him appear eerily claustrophobic. He closed his eyes for a moment as he took in long breaths. Within a couple of seconds, his eyes reopened and he looked a lot calmer. His eyes met mine and he patted my shoulder before making his way to homeroom.

I slammed the locker shut and glared at the remaining crowd. Giving everyone the finger, I marched down the hallway towards my homeroom class. I don’t know why exactly, but flipping everyone off made me feel slightly mollified. If anyone wanted to start with Taylor, I’d give those fuckers black eyes to gawk through…

***

Sitting in the lunchroom, I could still feel people staring unabashedly at me. The entire school had seen Taylor’s locker by now, so even Jason and Eric were acting strangely around me. Not that I particularly wanted to speak to either of them, but their embarrassed silence was creeping me out.

Both of their mouths hung open as Brooke approached the table, hell in her eyes. I stood up as she practically ran right into me.

And then she kissed me.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…

I nearly pooped my pants as she grabbed me, one hand on my ass and the other pushing the back of my head towards her. My eyes were wide as saucers and I gasped in horror. Now that my mouth was open, she took that as her opportunity to shove her tongue in my mouth. I was in such a state of shock that I was completely paralyzed. My brain was trying to convince the rest of my body that I was not making out with a girl and that it was all just a wretched nightmare. I wanted to move so badly and shove her away from me but I was unable to function properly. The lunchroom was dead silent as Brooke continued to make out with me.

“Call me later, baby. I want to finish where we left off.” She kissed me on the nose, patted me playfully on the butt, and confidently strode back to her own table. This left me standing there like an idiot, red-faced and violated, until I finally regained the ability to sit down. Eric and Jason were staring at me as if I was Jesus. I tried to ignore them but it was impossible to not notice the jealous, admiring glances from the rest of the guys (and some girls) in the lunchroom.

I narrowed my eyes as I saw Taylor giving me an enormous thumbs-up sign from the far end of the lunchroom.

Is that boy retarded?

I looked over at Tony and Jake’s table, since they HAD to be the idiots responsible for the locker fiasco, and gave them a confident wink. They were just staring at me, their mouths gaping open in surprise. Now that my brain had slowly began to process the ordeal, I now understood why she did it. Brooke was trying to show everyone that not only was I straight but I was also her boyfriend… or something.

I nonchalantly tried to wipe off the lip-gloss that had been smeared around my mouth. Jason and Eric didn’t eat for the rest of the period. Instead, they just sort of blinked a lot. The rest of the lunchroom was now buzzing about what they saw, and quite possibly what it could mean.

The things I do for Taylor…

***

I got home from school later on the afternoon and dropped my backpack on the floor with a loud thud. I didn’t have any homework to do for Taylor, so I could devote all of my time to making sure what happened today would never happen again. And we all know I don’t just mean the locker incident.

After the stressful day I had, I was ready for a relaxing evening. Not that Taylor ever had difficult homework, since he was taking only Mickey Mouse courses, but I was thrilled that I didn’t have to worry about it. I was just going to grab all the junk food I could find and wrack my brain for a cure.

Taylor’s mother and baby sister were both in the kitchen when I stepped in. Great. I only hoped I could avoid them painlessly. Zoe’s face immediately lit up and Mrs. Hanson gave me a warm smile as she placed the little flattened balls of cookie dough onto a cookie sheet.

“Hello, Taylor,” his mother said, in a sweet, singsong voice.

“TAY! TAY!” Zoe squealed, squirming on the kitchen counter. Mrs. Hanson smiled and eased her daughter down to the floor. The curly-haired imp threw her arms around one of my long, beanpole legs. I sincerely hoped she wouldn’t become a permanent attachment. This body doesn’t possess enough muscle mass to support the extra weight.

“Er, hey,” I mumbled, patting her on the back awkwardly. I winced as she tightened her grip around my leg. “Can I have that back, please?”

“Don’t you like having a thirty pound leech on your leg?” Mrs. Hanson teased, winking at me. I gave her a pitiful glance for help. Sighing, she reached over and pulled the child off of me by her t-shirt. “Come on, sweetie, let your brother breathe.” Zoe regretfully let go and I was eternally grateful. “So, how was your day at school?”

“Oh, well, you know,” I mumbled, grabbing one of her rolled up cookie dough balls. She swatted at my hands, but then winked at me. With a mouthful of yummy cookie dough, I finished, “Completely uneventful. Tragically boring. A day like every other…”

“Sounds exciting,” she replied. “How are things with that Brooke girl you’ve gone out with a couple of times? I’m dying to hear the lowdown or 411 or whatever you kids call it.”

This would be my cue to exit.

“Oh, nothing much really,” I muttered, eyeing the nearest exit. “Well, I’d better be off. Homework and all. Thanks for the hunk of dough.”

I walked into Taylor’s bedroom after grabbing myself a can of soda. Isaac and Zac were sitting in the room, with two very different looks on their faces. Isaac had a beaming smile on this face while Zac was biting his lips in a nervous fashion. I walked in apprehensively and Zac’s face seemed to be harboring mild panic.

I was not looking forward to this seemingly inevitable conversation.

“Tay! I am so glad you’re finally home!” Isaac exclaimed, standing up. I just stared at him nervously. For someone to look at me with such blatant joy is unnerving. “I’ve got the greatest news!”

You found out I was trapped in your brother’s body, decided that with my sparkling wit and selfless personality that you MUST be the father of my children, took it upon yourself to find a cure, and have come to tell me that you have succeeded in doing so?

I looked over at Zac. “Oh? And what’s that?”

“We’re going to get to play again!”

Fuck.

“Play?” I asked, feeling my stomach roll, nauseated. “Like, Barbies? Or football? Define the term play…”

Isaac rolled his eyes good-naturedly. There was this overwhelming energy just emanating from him. His eyes, his fingertips, his smile… There was excitement everywhere. “Taylor, I mean like instruments! In front of people! For so long we thought everyone had become bored with Hanson and now we get an opportunity to play our new stuff! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? We are so lucky!”

“Um, wow. No, I can’t really…” I mumbled, looking to Zac for help. He merely held his hands out in front of him. “How did we get so… lucky?”

“Well, I was talking to Ashley Greyson and I mentioned how we were itching to play again and he said that there was the fall fair that Tulsa has every year and he mentioned that he was good friends with the mayor’s assistant and that it would be no trouble at all to book us for a half-hour performance and possibly an interview on the local news and I told him that we would love to and so now we’re booked for this weekend and I am so freaking psyched aren’t you?”

That’s it. I quit. I officially quit my job as being Taylor Hanson. No two week notice, I just quit.

“Er…um…”

Isaac’s face fell. “Taylor? What’s wrong? How can you not be excited about this? You live to play for audiences!” He looked incredibly hurt. “How come you’re looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” I asked, my voice wavering feebly.

“Like that!” He exclaimed, pointing at me accusingly.

Oh, like THIS? Yeah, well, it’s only because singing in public is my all-time greatest fear.

“I think he’s just shocked,” Zac said, stepping closer. “Why don’t we all take a little time to think about this before we agree?”

Isaac just gave Zac a dark look. “Since when do we have to think about this? This is a chance for all of us to go out and doing something that we love! Something that you both know we were born to do! God, I already agreed to it on your behaves. I didn’t think there would be any discussion at all. I just… I just don’t understand. Zac, you’ve been especially close to Taylor and Tay, you’ve been especially secretive. Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on here?”

“Nothing!” I exclaimed, quickly. This is the second time I’ve felt morally corrupt today! I can’t handle feeling this bad in one day! I am not equipped to handle such foreign feelings.

Isaac shook his head and started towards the door. “Fine. You two keep being secretive. Keep leaving me out of it. I don’t care anymore. Let me know if you two ever want to be a band again.” Zac and I both flinched as the door slammed behind him.

I turned to Zac pleadingly. “Zac, I…”

“Abby, you have to do this.”

Not what I wanted to hear.

I whined, “But I CAN’T! I can’t sing! I can’t be in front of an audience! I don’t know any of your songs or how to play any freaking instruments!”

Zac sighed and flopped onto Isaac’s bed. “You have to. If you don’t do this, Ike will know something’s up.”

“Then let’s tell him!” I exclaimed, walking towards the door. “I’m sick of pretending! I’m sick of lying! Please, LET’S tell him!”

“You know if we told him that he would tell Mom and Dad,” advised Zac, shaking his head. “And then they would make you go to therapy or even lock you up. And, that’s if Isaac even believed you actually thought you weren’t Taylor. I could very easily see him getting pissed because he thought we were toying with him, or ganging up on him.”

“But you would back me up!” I insisted, pathetically.

“Don’t you get it?” He asked, his eyes darkening impatiently. He sat up quickly. “He feels a little jealous and left out because you won’t talk to anyone but me. Taylor and Isaac were always extra close, closer than I was with either of them. It was Ike who Tay would come to for advice, Ike who Tay would lament dramatically to about life’s tribulations, Ike who would listen to him talk about girls for hours. Ike just misses the brother he knew and doesn’t understand what made him change. He just wants his brother back. ”

My eyes narrowed at him. “Yeah? Well, so do you, and your parents, and the rest of your zillions of siblings, as well as Brooke, Jason, and Eric! Tell me something I don’t fucking know already!”

Zac sighed and looked down at his lap. “Abby, don’t get all riled up. This isn’t supposed to be so…difficult. All you have to do is just play a very short set at a local fair. It’s not rocket science and you’ll be doing something selfless for someone else.”

“No.”

I could not be manipulated by a tired guilt trip. Growing up with my mother and sister, guilt trips had no effect whatsoever on me.

Zac raised an eyebrow at me. “Just suck it up and do something nice for the guy. God, haven’t you done enough BAD stuff to him to make this seem even somewhat fair?”

I groaned, kicking the bedpost. “No. That stuff was funny. This is serious.”

“Why are you so damn selfish?” He demanded, pounding his fists on the bed. “You’re such a God damn princess all the fucking time! How did you grow up to be the way you are? Huh? Doesn’t being a bratty prima donna ever get old for you?”

“I think I have been INCREDIBLY accommodating considering the HELL I’ve been put through!” I hissed, remembering to keep my voice down. I stood directly in front of Zac, staring him down like the insignificant peon he is. “I’ve been thrown into a boy’s body, taken away from everything I’ve ever known, lost a potential best friend, taken out of all my classes, forced to live in a house where everyone is happy and touchy-feely all the time, THEN forced to date a GIRL, TWICE, been treated like absolute CRAP by a boy I LIKED who happened to be trapped in MY body, and now I’m being HARASSED for not being a perfect saint!” I pushed him angrily. “What the fuck do you people want from me?!?”

Zac, who had been knocked over due to my aggression, sat up menacingly. He stood, and even though I was about five inches taller, I was afraid of what he would do. “If you don’t do this, you will break his heart. Music is his life, my life, and once was Taylor’s. Ever since we were allowed to touch instruments, we’d been living through them. They’ve become an essential part of us. Music to us is like sarcasm to you. It’s vital, it’s essential… it’s how we cope. If you think we’ve asked too much of you, fine. You go out and tell Ike that you don’t want to perform with him. I’m not doing it for you.”

I could feel the defensive walls crumbling to the wall. I sat down on Ike’s bed with my head down. Damn him. Damn him and his insufferable ability to get to me.

“I’m scared.”

He crossed his arms over his chest like an aggravated parent. “Of what?”

“Of being on stage. Of forgetting my name. Of feeling as though I’m naked and everyone is laughing at me. Of having to open my mouth and sing in front of people who actually expect to hear someone with talent!” I exclaimed, plopping onto Ike’s bed. “I don’t know how to sing or play instruments or even talk to people.” I looked at him nervously. “You know how well I interact with people.”

Zac’s tense expression slowly softened into an amused one. “I’ll help you.”

I snorted. “You’re going to teach me how to be Taylor? How to schmooze, play instruments, and bat my eyes pretty? This is going to be a lot of work, Zac. I hope you know what you’re getting into.” My face spread into a big smile. “Can I play the drums?”

“No!” Zac exclaimed, territorially. He patted me on the knee and walked towards the door. “I’m going to tell Ike.”

I grabbed his hand and stood up quickly. Despite the fact that I’d hopelessly lost this battle, I couldn’t help but smile. “Can I tell him?”

Zac smiled back. “Yeah. I think he’d like that.”

***

It took two rings before my mother picked up the phone. She sounded tired and not her usually cheerful self, but I was not in a position to ask her about it at the moment. I politely asked to speak with “Abby.” Taylor picked up the receiver only seconds later.

“Hello?”

“Taylor. It’s Abby,” I replied, picking at the enlarging hole in the knee of his jeans. They were my favorite jeans that he owned because they were perfectly broken in. No weird stiffness, no unworn itchiness, no obscure bulges. Perfect jeans at their prime.

“Hey,” he replied, yawning a little. “Is everything okay? It’s ten-thirty at night.”

I rolled my eyes. “Sorry, Grandma. Didn’t mean to wake you.” Taylor snorted. “But I have to tell you something incredibly important. Are you able to speak freely?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “I’m on my way to the basement. You free to talk?”

I rolled my eyes yet again. “Yes, idiot. I called you, remember? I’m in the bathroom.”

“Okay, so what’s up then?”

“Well, Isaac dropped a bomb on me today that Hanson has to perform at the fall festival this weekend,” I began, twisting the jean hole fringe with my fingertips. “Which, you know, I think sucks balls because I don’t know anything about playing instruments or singing or performing for an audience…”

“Oh my God, really?” Taylor asked, his voice small. “We really got a gig?”

“And of course you have to play the freaking keyboards!” I continued. “You couldn’t play the drums so I could just randomly bang on them or the guitar where it’s like three chords and you’ve got a song. No, you’ve got to play the COMPLICATED instrument…”

“I can’t believe we’ve got a gig!”

I sighed. He can be so thoughtless to the needs of others. “Taylor, can we get back to me here? So, Zac says that he’ll teach me some of your songs. I think he told me that we would be singing “This Time Around,” which I’ve never heard of and “Mmmbop,” which frankly makes me want to kill myself. Thankfully, Zac suggested that we share the lead so it doesn’t seem as though they’re trying to cover me up but I won’t have the entire burden of being the lead singer.”

“I’m not the lead singer!” Taylor protested.

“Okay, deny it if you like,” I muttered. “I’m the one who’s stuck being the NON-lead singer.” I paused, a smile spreading across my face. “When I told Ike he hugged me so tight that I thought I was going to break. And just for a moment, I thought I saw tears in his eyes. And then Zac came out, joined us in a group hug, and Ike gave this powerfully emotional speech about how we won’t go down and that the music lives.” I shook my head. “I never knew that some stupid festival could mean so much to him. And to Zac.”

Taylor was slow to respond. “Music is a part of our souls. We’ve been trying to get gigs for a while but no one seems to want to listen to Hanson anymore. This festival is a big deal to us. All kinds of scouts and local record executives check out this festival! This could be a beginning to a new era for the band! This could be a second chance for us! Wow… I just can’t believe we’ve got a gig!”

I bit my lip. “I’m sorry.”

There was a moment of silence. “For what?” Taylor sounded very taken aback.

“That you couldn’t have been there. That you couldn’t have seen the passion in your brothers’ eyes. That I almost ruined it.”

“Thank you…” Taylor replied, quietly. “I really appreciate what you’re doing for me and my brothers.”

I groaned. Yeesh, his thanks and praise made me feel more uncomfortable than the guilt had. “All right. That’s enough mushiness, Taylor. I’m just doing it because I happen to…enjoy being onstage in front of horny teenage girls, singing my stupid heart out. Not for you or anyone else. Okay?”

“Okay.” I could feel Taylor smiling, which caused me to smile in return. “You know, this could be one of the most pivotal moments in my career and I’m not going to be able to be a part of it. All I wanted not so long ago was to be closer to Brooke Thompson, which I suppose technically happened, but I was so wrong. I mean, I think I actually WISHED for it to happen… And, boy, did it!”

I stiffened on the toilet seat I’d been sitting on. “Taylor, you made a wish that you were closer to Brooke Thompson?”

“Yeah,” he replied, sheepishly. “A long time ago at her party. Sheesh, had I but known what was going to happen…”

The wheels in my brain were spinning wildly. I felt a heavy lump forming in the pit of my stomach. My heart was racing and I think I was breaking out into a cold sweat. “Taylor, I had made a wish that same night wishing I had been closer to Jason…”

“Jason? As in Jason Ashley?” Taylor asked, chuckling. “He is SO not your type.”

I summoned more patience. “Taylor, are you picking up what I’m putting down?”

Silence.

“Think, Taylor! Think!”

Taylor paused. “Okay, so we both made wishes to be close to people that the opposite person was close to. That same night, we miraculously switch bodies…. OH MY GOD! That’s why we switched bodies! We both wished for the same thing at the same time! How could I not see that before?”

That’s my Taylor. Pretty to look at, slow on the uptake.

“When can you get over here?” I demanded, my heart feeling as though it was going to burst out of my chest. I was practically boiling over with anticipation. This could be it! This could be the way to get back into my body, my life! Taylor and I could go back to the way things were supposed to be finally. Taylor could return to his family, his friends, his sort of girlfriend, his music… And I could return to whatever it was that I had.

“Tomorrow, right after school,” he replied, excitedly. “I can’t wait!”

I grinned. This was finally it. “Me too.”