Chapter 27 - I’m going to be a rockstar! Well, maybe a doctor but I think I would like to be a rockstar a bit more.

Taylor

Humming to myself, I shut the backdoor gently and threw my coat and backpack onto the floor beside it. Stretching my sore shoulder muscle (sore from carrying all of Abby’s ridiculously heavy books), I casually made my way to the refrigerator. My mouth watered as I opened the door and gazed hungrily inside.

“Abby! Don’t snack or you won’t be hungry for dinner!” Ms. Deluca exclaimed, rushing into the kitchen. She winked as she closed the inviting refrigerator door, causing me to groan. One of my eyebrows raised slightly as she dashed over to the stove and stirred a mysterious smelling concoction. She stirred it for a few seconds longer and put the cover back over the pot.

“Are you okay?” I asked, as she started biting her thumbnail.

She whirled around and smiled tightly. “I’m fine. Just fine.” She opened a cupboard door and pulled out three plates. “Can you set the table? Dinner will be ready in about five minutes.” She hurriedly shoved three heavy mismatched plates in my arms and continued to putter with her food preparation.

“Are you positive? You seem anxious,” I continued, setting the plates onto the table. I thought it was weird that she was having me set the table, since we never ate dinner together as a family anyway. Olivia always ate dinner in her room or in the basement and I only ate with Abby’s mother whenever I managed to make it home for dinner. Which, quite honestly, hadn’t been too often. Something definitely was up. “Does this have anything to do with making sure I was home for dinner?”

Ms. Deluca simply smiled. “When Olivia comes down, I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”

A handful of minutes later, Olivia was summoned for dinner. The obnoxious girl loudly galloped down the stairs and rushed into the kitchen. Reaching into the cupboard, she grabbed a plate but was slightly perplexed when none of the food was sitting on the stovetop.

“Where’s the food?” She barked, plate in hand. I rolled my eyes as Ms. Deluca smiled sweetly.

“We’re going to have dinner tonight as a family,” Abby’s mom replied, good-naturedly. “I need to speak with the two of you.”

Olivia sighed and sat the plate on the counter. She regrettably flopped down in the seat directly across from mine and took a sip from her glass of water. “So, what’s so important that you’re making us eat at the same table? I was watching a movie in my room and now I’m going to miss how it ends. Abby, give me the potatoes.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “They’re just as close to you as they are to me. Get them yourself.”

“You’re such a lazy bum,” Olivia mumbled, standing up and grabbing the bowl of mashed potatoes. “Now, why am I being forced to sit here again?”

Ms. Deluca cleared her throat, setting her napkin daintily on her lap. I could tell by her uptight mannerisms that she was more than just a little nervous to say exactly why we were all seated at this table tonight. I gave her a reassuring smile to let her know that it was okay for her to tell us what she had to say. Olivia, in the meantime, began picking at her porkchops.

“I don’t really know how to say any of this,” she began, looking down at the hands resting on her lap. “But I just want to let you all know how much I loved your father. I was married to him for twelve short years before he passed away…”

Oh my God, Abby’s father was… dead?

How could she not tell me that? I merely thought her parents were divorced or that she never even knew whom her father was…

“What does Dad have to do with any of this?” Olivia exclaimed, setting her fork down. She looked as though she no longer had any appetite.

Abby’s mother looked at her daughter worriedly. “I-I’m not saying any of this to upset you guys, but it has been a long time since he passed on. And I wanted to ask you two how you would feel if I started dating again…”

“WHAT?” Olivia exclaimed, loudly.

The woman flinched slightly. “I understand that this will be difficult for the both of you but…”

Olivia shot her mother the dirtiest look. “When you married Dad, it was supposed to be forever. How do you think Dad would feel up in Heaven if you started whoring yourself around?”

“Olivia!” Ms. Deluca exclaimed. “Don’t you ever say that to me! Joseph passed on almost ten years ago! Ten years, sweetie.” She took a deep breath. “I’m tired of being alone and I think your father would be supportive. He wouldn’t want any of us to remain unhappy because of his absence.”

Olivia smiled fakely. “Well, you might have that opinion but I think otherwise. I think that you should only marry one man in your life. Just because Dad died doesn’t mean you get to erase him and get a better one!”

Ms. Deluca rubbed her temples rhythmically. “Honey, that’s not what I’m doing. I am not trying to replace your father. I loved Joe. I still do. I always will. I would give anything to get him back into our lives. And I’m not replacing him. Hell, I’m only talking about going on a couple of dates with a nice man.”

“Yeah,” Olivia sneered, rolling her eyes. “Whatever makes you sleep at night. You don’t even love Dad enough to honor him in death.” She slammed her fork onto the table and stood up dramatically. “You can forget this half-assed attempt on making this a family conversation! It’s not like you honestly care what Abby and I have to say anyway. You’ve already made your mind up regardless!” Had I not felt like such an intruder, I would have slapped her. However, I just kept my head down and tried not to get involved in something that was in no way my business.

“No! That’s not true!” Abby’s mother protested. She reached for her daughter’s hand, causing Olivia to roughly push her away, which in turn caused me to stand protectively. I don’t like seeing women get pushed around, even by their own kind.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Olivia shouted, hysterically. “You can’t do this! You can’t do this to Dad!”

Tears were beginning to stream down Ms. Deluca’s cheeks. “Livvie, I…”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Olivia screamed, pushing her chair so roughly into the table that it caused her milk to topple over and spill. “That’s what Dad used to call me! You are NOT allowed to call me that! Not now…”

There was so much hurt and resentment inside of Olivia. She radiated anger so heatedly that her cheeks were practically glowing. She was breathing so hard, trying to refrain from crying, that she was almost panting. The look of sheer hatred on her face was enough to make a person want to crawl into a hole and die.

Is this how Abby would react?

I didn’t know, honestly. Abby never discussed her father with me. Hell, I didn’t even know he was dead. And for almost ten years, no less! Was she just as bitter and torn apart as Olivia? Would she understand her mother’s need for love in her life?

“Sam Berducci’s a good man,” Ms. Deluca continued, softly. Her eyes remained downward. “He’s got a well paying job and two kids of his own. He loves kids and seems like the kindest man.”

Berducci… Berducci… Why does that sound so familiar?

“Whatever…” Olivia sneered, turning towards me with a fierce intensity. “Abby agrees with me, don’t you?”

My face went pale. Why did she have to bring me into this? This wasn’t even any of my business! I couldn’t imagine one of my parents being dead and then dealing with the other dating other people. I couldn’t even fathom how I would react.

And now I’m supposed to decide for Abby?

“WELL?” Olivia demanded, huffily. Her nostrils flared as she crossed her arms over her chest.

I swallowed hard and looked over at Abby’s mother, who was looking back at me worriedly. She had this hopeful look on her face that made me feel so sorry for her. I wouldn’t want to live alone in a big, empty house with one great big bitch of a daughter and another that was so self-involved that she generally cared little for anyone else. I couldn’t help but think about how lonely it must be for her at night. Being alone all the time probably would only force her to dwell on her dead husband’s absence. Why does this decision have to come down on me?

“I think she has a right to find happiness.”

Olivia screamed and threw her cotton napkin at me. “You are both stupid bitches! Dad’s going to roll over in his grave because of you!” She glared at me furiously. “So now Daddy’s little girl is brown-nosing up to Mom? Or are you too busy fucking your new boyfriend to think about your dead father’s wishes? Oh, so you thought I wouldn’t have found out that you had a rich boyfriend to go along with your new rich friends? I remember when you didn’t have shit for brains, you heartless little slut!”

I gasped as Ms. Deluca reached out and slapped her eldest daughter, creating a resounding, piercing noise. It was so sudden and severe, echoing off the dining room walls, that I felt as though I had been slapped as well. There was a blink of deafening, immaculate silence before Olivia let out a pathetic whimper. She immediately touched her stinging cheek, her dark eyes losing their fierce intensity for a brief moment. Had I blinked, I would have missed the almost childlike look on her shocked face. Quickly, her eyes narrowed at her mother and she stepped away from me.

“It’s obvious my opinion matters to no one,” Olivia spat, her voice low but powerful. “I just think it’s sad that I’m the only one who hasn’t turned their back on Dad. If he’s watching…” Her voice cracked and she broke off for a moment. “Well, at least he knows one member of his family actually loves him.”

“That’s not fair!” I exclaimed, getting angry. Ms. Deluca, shaking from striking her daughter, could only slump into her chair and burst into tears. Olivia stormed up the stairs, slamming doors left and right. I sighed and sat down next to Abby’s mother. I didn’t really know what to say at this moment. The night had been so horrific and I just felt awkward to have been a part in it. “Are you all right?”

Her shoulders shook as she cried softly into her hands. I sadly looked around at the disheveled table that had looked so delicious only moments earlier. It was a shame to see something so nice get so completely ruined. Not knowing what else to do, I gently rubbed her back in hopes of giving her some comfort. I know that whenever my mom was in a bad mood, a nice backrub would eventually get her to talk. Abby’s mom sat up and turned to me, her blue eyes lined red.

“Abby, do you think it’s wrong of me to want to date again?” She asked.

I didn’t know how Abby would want me to react, but I knew what I believed. I wasn’t really Abby, so I couldn’t react in a way that I thought she would. Sometimes when I think I finally understand why Abby thinks/speaks/acts the way she does, she will do something completely unexpected and make me throw out any preconceived notion. I think in this case, Abby would trust me to use my best judgment. All I could give was my own opinion, whether it be correct or not. And whether Abby’s mother wanted MY thoughts or not, she’d get them.

“No, I don’t think it’s wrong,” I replied, putting my hand on hers supportively. She smiled weakly. “I think you’ve suffered long enough. I know your husband wouldn’t want you to be lonely and miserable for the rest of your life. If he loved you, he’d want you to be happy. There is no selfishness in love. Besides, I’m sure he’s in a place where he’s perfectly content. Therefore, why wouldn’t he want his family to be happy as well?”

Ms. Deluca sighed and shakily fingered her wedding band. “I’m tired of being alone, Abby. And if I marry again, we can live better. All of us can! We don’t have to scrape by and depend on government assistance just to make ends meet. We can have a real life and be a real family again. We can move on.”

“Don’t do this for anyone but yourself,” I stated, pointing a finger at her. “If you date, it should be for your own happiness. I have big plans for the future. I’m going to be a rockstar! Well, maybe a doctor but I think I would like to be a rockstar a bit more. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that all I care about is your happiness. There’s no reason as to why you shouldn’t date. Your husband’s dead, not you.”

Abby’s mother closed her eyes painfully. “But he’s your father! And look at how Olivia reacted! If she’s the older and more mature daughter, I can only imagine what’s going on in your head.”

I smiled softly. “There is no way that she is the more mature daughter. She’s just surprised, that’s all. I’m sure once she gets used to the fact that her father is never going to come back and be a part of this family, she’ll get over it. She should be ashamed of the things she said to you. But please, don’t not have a relationship with a great guy because of us. We’re both going to be off leading our own lives soon and that means that you’ll have to finally look for your own happiness. We’re not children. We can handle this, I promise.”

Abby’s mother embraced me in a tight hug. “How was I fortunate enough to have been graced with such a wonderfully understanding daughter?”

I don’t think she wanted me to answer that.

Luckily, the doorbell rang suddenly and prevented me from dancing around providing an answer. I patted Abby’s mother on the shoulder before walking briskly towards the door. I prayed that it was Abby, coming to tell me that she had found a cure and that I wouldn’t have to try to give permission to a parent who wasn’t mine for something I wanted to remain completely oblivious to. I opened the door and surprisingly saw Brooke standing outside, looking down at her shoes.

“Brooke!” I exclaimed, excitedly. I desperately needed to see a smiling face! There was so much emotional distress in this house that I needed to be around some happiness!

Brooke looked up at me and in that moment I felt my stomach fall out of my body. She had tears streaming down her cheeks and mascara smudged around her devastated eyes. She dropped the knapsack she was carrying and ran into my open arms. Abby’s mother approached us a minute later and I gave her a worried look.

“Brooke, what happened?” I asked, pulling away from her slightly. I gently wiped away her fresh tears with the pad of my thumb. Abby’s mother shut the door behind us and urged Brooke to sit on the weathered couch. Brooke complied, and I reached over and handed her a tissue from the box of kleenex on the coffee table. In the meantime, Abby’s mother went into the kitchen to make her a cup of tea. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“You know how you told me to confront my father about my stepmother when we were in the mall?” She began, sniffing. I nodded quickly. “Well, my stepmother was going on like she always does about how I should dress and who I should talk to and what I should eat, and I told her that she wasn’t my mother and that she couldn’t tell me what to do. She went hysterical, shouting at me and calling me an ungrateful little bitch. She said that she was the woman of the house and that if I wanted to live under her roof that I would have to be respectful and obey her. I told her she was a gold-digging whore and had no claim on my house. I’d always lived there and she was a recent development. Well, she said to just ask my father so I did. And I believed wholeheartedly that he would have taken my side and told her to back off. I really did…” She trailed off and blew her nose loudly. I began to rub her back in the identical fashion of how I’d rubbed Ms. Deluca’s back mere minutes earlier. “He said that she was my new mother now and that I’d better listen to her. He called me disrespectful and arrogant, Abby. He said that I should be thrilled to have someone like HER in the house to get girly advice from. Can you believe that asshole? So, I told him that I refused to treat her like a parent. She’s only three years older than me for Pete’s sake! Then she came up into his office and acted all sexy with him and he told me that I would either change or get the hell out.”

“Oh my God,” I breathed, feeling like the most atrocious person living. “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have told you to…”

She shook her head and grabbed my hand firmly. “No. I should have said something long ago.” She paused and looked at me sheepishly. “I hope it’s okay that I came here, Abby. I-I didn’t know where else to go…”

“Brooke, you know you’re always…”

“You may stay as long as you like,” Ms. Deluca insisted, handing Brooke a scalding cup of tea. Brooke accepted it graciously. “I’m Abby’s mother, Susan. I’ve heard so much about you. We don’t have much here but you’re welcome to whatever we have. Oh, I hope you like sugar in your tea. I put a spoonful in.”

“That’s perfect, thank you,” Brooke said, smiling weakly. “I appreciate everything. I’m sorry to burden you like this.”

“It’s no burden, I assure you,” Abby’s mother replied, with a warm smile. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. Abby, make sure she knows where the bathrooms are and extra blankets. If you two need anything, I’ll be in the kitchen cleaning up. Brooke, have you had dinner?”

“No, I’m not hungry,” she replied, dabbing her eyes with her soggy kleenex. “Thank you anyway.” She waited until Abby’s mother left before she spoke again. “How could he do that to me? He’s supposed to be my father! He freaking gave me life! You know, I think it’s kind of funny that the same man who once made damn sure I wasn’t going to live with my mother by any cost is the same man who frivolously kicks me out of my own house.”

I continued to rub small circles in her back. “I don’t get it, Brooke. For him not to see how lucky he is to have a daughter like you…”

Brooke shook her head before blowing her nose. “I’m just so sorry to barge in on you like this.” She began to shyly finger the elaborate beading on her knapsack. “I didn’t know where you lived so I called Taylor, but he was in the shower. So, then Zac gave me your address. I hope that’s okay. If it’s not, I understand. I’ll just go to Uma’s…”

I smiled warmly and fought the ardent desire to brush her tear-stained cheek with my fingers. “That’s quite enough of that, Brooke. You’re staying with me whether you like it or not!”

Brooke stood and grinned appreciatively. “Abby, thank you so much for everything.” She wrapped her arms around me in a blissfully strong hug. “I should have known that you would have been nothing but gracious.”

Not to kill the mood or anything, but I wonder why more girls aren’t lesbians. I mean, this boob on boob action feels pretty good…

“Abby?”

I blinked. “Um, yes?”

“Can you let go now? It’s hard to breathe…”

I grinned sheepishly as I immediately loosened my airtight grip. She laughed after taking a greatly needed breath. “Sorry.” I leaned over and slung her purple knapsack over my left shoulder. “Wanna get settled upstairs?”

Brooke nodded and I led the way up the small flight of stairs and into the upstairs portion of the house. I began to think about how complicated this situation was becoming. Brooke was now staying with me, who she firmly believed was Abby, which meant that I would have to lie more, and that I would have to sneak out more, and that I was going to have to be way more careful about, well, everything. God forbid she actually caught me checking her out the way I do! And what if I accidentally forgot my situation and kissed her? How difficult would that be to explain?

But on the other hand, I couldn’t really leave her stranded on the streets could I? What kind of person would I be to make her go somewhere as God-awful as Uma’s at a time like this? The last thing she needs is more suffering. Besides, I wouldn’t want to send her off to a place where no one eats. This would also give me some more time to get to know her as a person before I return to guyhood and sweep her off her nicely-pedicured feet.

“To your left is the upstairs bathroom. There you will find a shower, toilet, and working sink! The room at the very end of the hall is Hell. Satan resides there so I wouldn’t suggest going near it. And I’ll give you a helpful hint, she’s especially not nice to be around in the morning.” I exclaimed, only half-kidding. I headed toward my room and flipped on the light switch. “This is my current bedroom. Please don’t be frightened by all of the hideous teddy bear ceramics. I swear they’re not mine…”

“Right…” Brooke chuckled, immediately heading over to the small array of picture frames on my dresser. “Hey, who is this man in this picture?” I noticed that she was pointing to a very faded picture of a young Abby grinning excitedly on top of a man’s shoulders. “Is that your Dad?”

I smiled as I gazed at the frame. I’d never seen Abby’s smile look so unadulterated. “Must be.”

“Must be?” Brooke teased, gently. “You don’t know for sure?”

I smiled and continued to look at the picture. I wish I had known an Abby like that. She looked so overcome with joy and contentment that she was about to explode. There was no constant frown, no worry lurking in her eyes, no heaviness in her presence. She looked, quite simply, happy. The man in the picture had an identical smile, looking so much like Abby that the resemblance was uncanny.

His premature death must have killed her.

“Are you okay?” Brooke asked, her voice full of concern.

I turned to her and shrugged. “Yup. I was just in my own little world. So, you want to take the bed while I take the couch tonight?”

She gave me an odd look. “I would never kick you out of your own room and make you sleep on the sofa!” She jumped on the old, broken-in bed and giggled as the tired springs wheezed up and down. “EEE! You have Snoopy sheets!” She stood on my bed and nearly peed her pants with laughter as the old springs wobbled her around. “Abby, don’t stare at me like that! Haven’t you ever walked on your bed like this before? This is a perfectly broken in bed!” I just stared at the insane girl jumping around on Abby’s bed. “ABBY! Come on, you’re missing a lot of fun!”

I rolled my eyes dramatically before succumbing to the consuming desire to jump on Abby’s older than Christ bed. I tentatively shifted my weight from one foot to the other, creating a small bobbing motion. Brooke, meanwhile, was bouncing up and down on it like it was a trampoline. She dared me to get some guts and jump along with her, but I politely declined. I prefer to gradually make my way to propelling myself into the air. Besides, the bed was creaking rather loudly and I was afraid my extra weight would make it completely fall apart.

“You break it, you buy it, Thompson!” I threatened, as she gleefully bounced around. For someone who was so upset about her father, Brooke was acting particularly chipper.

She didn’t reply. Instead, she smacked me square in the face with one of Abby’s pillows. I immediately went down and covered my face with my hands, moaning loudly.

“Oh my God!” She exclaimed, dropping her pillow and kneeling beside me. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry! I didn’t think I’d hit you that hard!”

I sniffed as I reached for the pillow she dropped. In one single, lithe motion, I hurled it at the side of her head. She screamed and pinched me in the stomach. I burst out laughing as she collapsed down beside me on the bed.

“Cheater,” she said, smiling. “That was a cheap, girly move, you know.”

I grinned. “Well, I’m a cheap girly so I can technically get away with it, can’t I?”

I heard her sigh heavily. “I’m so glad I can stay here with you. I feel this unexplainable, unpretentious easiness when I’m with you that I don’t feel with anyone else. A million things could be going wrong but you effortlessly make me forget everything.”

“Don’t I make the greatest boyfriend?” I teased, my chest tightening.

“Oh yes.” She giggled. “If you were a boy I would SO do you.”

Dear Life,

Thanks a lot you steaming pile of putrescent feces.

Sincerely yours,
Taylor Hanson

PS… Is it possible to have that statement in writing?