Chapter 25 - But all the other girls get to show off their girl parts…

Taylor

“Ummm…Britney…”

I opened one eye fearfully. Zac was holding me like a teddy bear, his head resting on my chest, and some of his drool was evaporating on my oversized t-shirt. He had one arm draped around my waist and a leg wrapped around me as I lay on my back.

“Ooh, yeah, baby… I’ll hit that one more time…”

I rolled my eyes and poked him in the stomach. I was all for brotherly togetherness, but this was a little extreme even for a Hanson.

“I don’t care if they are fake, sweetie, they’re still fun to play with…”

I hollered when Zac started massaging my breasts. This, in turn, caused Zac to wake up, realize what he was doing, and jump away from me immediately. He cleared his throat loudly as his ears continued to radiate heat. I held my violated breasts protectively and glared my brother down.

“Pleasant dream?” I muttered, trying to calm down my angry chest.

His entire face turned scarlet. “Yeah, um, sorry about that.”

“You should be!” I exclaimed, crossing my arms over my chest. “You can’t just go around playing with my boobs, Zac. It’s weird.”

“I was asleep! I didn’t know what I was doing!” Zac exclaimed, holding his hands up like a caught bandit. “Geez, why are you getting so defensive anyway? They’re not even yours!”

I raised an eyebrow. “I would be more than willing to tell Abby and find out how she feels about it.”

“For the love of Pete, don’t!” Zac muttered, rubbing his temples. “I don’t need to be scalped, thank you very much.”

We got dressed and I made sure Zac didn’t turn around at all. I still hadn’t completely forgiven him for my rude wake up call and I wouldn’t put it past him to steal a peek at me changing.

Because I would never do a thing like that.

“Hey, sleepy heads!” Brooke exclaimed, as we emerged from our tents. Her long, luxurious blonde hair was pulled into a loose ponytail and she looked positively radiant in a fitted t-shirt and jean shorts. I grinned as she bounced (and I mean bounced) toward us. “It’s about time you two got up! We’re about ready to make breakfast.”

“Breakfast?” I asked, feeling as though I was drowning in those big, green eyes staring back at me. “What are we having this morning? Crepes? Escargot?”

She laughed, her eyes sparkling. “Try hot dogs.”

I grinned. “Ah, that delicacy was my next conjecture.”

Zac stepped close to me as Brooke trotted back towards the small fire. “Keep it in your skirt, buddy.”

I shoved him hard and followed Brooke to the fire. Abby was actually carrying on a semi-normal conversation with Tiffany, who never once got off of Ashley’s lap. Brooke was tending to the fire and casting winsome looks at Abby every so often.

Abby caught Brooke staring at her, smiled tensely, and averted her attention to something else immediately. Brooke smiled, blushed slightly, and looked away for a moment. She looked back over at Abby with so much emotion in her eyes, so much longing that I actually felt guilty for witnessing it. I don’t know what she was longing for, but from what I knew about her I assumed that she was longing to make a strong connection. To really matter to someone.

It was at that moment that I decided that I was officially finished being a girl. I was done hiding, pretending to be someone I’m not. I can’t keep getting sneak peeks in gym class or sleep overs… I needed to be the guy she imagined me as. The lying had to stop. Brooke deserved the real Taylor Hanson, the boy who almost loved her. Maybe I will love her soon. Maybe I love her now and just don’t know it. Every time I spend time with her I feel only stronger in my convictions for her.

And I couldn’t make Abby pretend to date her any longer. I was lucky she was going along with this as much as she was... I couldn’t ask her again. All I seemed to do was impose on people for my every whim and it just had to stop. Abby, Zac, Brooke... I had to stop using/lying to the people I care about most.

“Abby?” Brooke asked, suddenly.

“Yes?” I asked, coming back down to earth.

“What would you like on your hot dog?”

***

“Capture the flag?” Abby whined, sticking out a hip and crossing her arms over her chest. “Why would we play capture the flag? Is there nothing else six semi-intelligent teenagers can think of to occupy themselves with?”

Tiffany, arm in arm with Ashley, purred, “I could think of something…”

“Capture the flag it is,” Abby stated, looking completely grossed out. “How are we going to pick fair teams?”

Ashley grinned. “That’s no problem. First we’ll put the guys on separate teams. I’ll be on one team and Zac will be on the other. Then we have the four girls-Brooke, Tiff, Abby, and Taylor…”

“HEY!!” Abby and I shouted simultaneously.

“How is he a girl?!?” I demanded, glaring at Ashley.

I’m not even going to try contemplate the irony of what I’d just said.

Hmph. So much for the unbreakable bonds of friendship.

“He’s not a girl per say,” Ashley began, giving Abby a sheepish grin. “He’s just not… not the most athletic guy in the world. Taylor knows what I mean, don’t you, Tay?”

Abby merely glared at him. That’s my girl!

I would like to pause a moment and reflect on the fact that Abby has refused to insult me in a moment of great opportunity. This had to be a milestone… maybe a once in a lifetime event that happens randomly… Maybe the sincere talk we had actually made a difference in our friendship? Abby was actually… being nice? Was she, dare I say it, sticking up for me? Well, I’ll be damned.

Ashley cleared his throat loudly. “Well, um, I’m sure you have lots of other nice qualities and other talents that don’t require athleticism or hand-eye coordination…” Something tells me that I did not want him to finish his babbling. It could go nowhere but bad.

“How about we pick teams?” Brooke suggested, quickly. “How about the Dayton rookies against the veterans?” She winked and put her arm around Tiffany’s neck. “How about we kick some newbie butt?”

“You are so on!” Zac exclaimed, grabbing Abby and I. “You know what they say, out with the old, in with the new!”

“Great. The campsite will be the middle of the playing field. We’ll go about ten yards away each and put our flags anywhere,” Ashley said, the excitement of competition sparkling in his brown eyes. “We can use pillowcases as flags. Okay, we need…. Napkins! We can use napkins as something to put on each other. You know, for the other team to pull off to eradicate the player.”

Brooke shook her head. “No, I have a better idea. I brought a whole bunch of chocolate pudding cups. That way, we can hide behind bushes and throw them at each other. Whoever gets hit is out.”

“Even better,” Zac added, nodding his head. “That way it’ll be fairer to your team because Taylor “Legs” Hanson here can outrun anyone, anytime. Just ask the New York City fans.” I beamed proudly as Abby chuckled. Can’t fight the truth. “I wouldn’t want the fact that you have two girlies on your team to be an unfair disadvantage…”

“Dream on. May the best team win,” Brooke said, grabbing some items and following her team over to the opposite side of the campsite before disappearing. Zac and I immediately went into the cooler to grab half of the pudding cups and shoved them into our shirts to carry them easier.

“Hey! Archie and Jughead! Get your asses over here!” Abby shouted, pointing to each of us. She was standing right next to a forest of trees, about ten feet away from where Zac and I had been standing before. How the hell did she get all the way over there so fast? After exchanging glances, Zac and I made our way over to her.

“Wait a minute, how come I’m Jughead?” I asked, huffily putting my hands on my hips. This was just not right. “He’s not Archie material! Besides, everyone knows that if this was some kind sick, twisted, warped story, I would be the protagonist, not the side-kick.”

Abby rolled her eyes and begged for patience. “Because you’re the only one of us who wears a little, invisible crown supplied by your diluted imagination and exalted delusions of grandeur, okay?”

At least it wasn’t a tiara. Crowns were manlier than tiaras. The home of the Whopper supplies crowns. I couldn’t be mad at that.

Zac snickered. “You’re Jughead because you’re the one with the jugs.”

Abby smacked him hard upside the head.

“What?” Zac asked, while laughing. He rubbed his head tenderly. “He is!”

She smacked him harder.

“There’s more to me than tits, you Neanderthal!” I exclaimed, covering my boobs with my hands. “It’s all you can think about, you perv!”

“DON’T TOUCH THOSE!” Abby screeched, pulling my hands off my chest.

I gave Abby an evil look. “I have an ass, too, Zac...” I turned around and patted it, as Zac inspected it thoughtfully.

Zac shook his head. “It’s kinda flat, man. You know I like a lot of junk in my trunk.”

“Would a blow to the junk suffice?” Abby asked, batting her eyelashes sweetly.

Zac scrunched up his face. “Point taken. You know, you shouldn’t really joke around like that because it could easily happen to you. And then you’ll know what pain really is.”

“Try having a period.”

I nodded in agreement. “I have to agree with that, Zac. It’s more painful than you’d think.”

“We need to end this conversation immediately,” Zac stated, walking away. “Okay, let’s get into some serious playing. I have a strategy.”

“Explain,” I said, cocking my head to the side. Zac’s devious brilliance could work miracles sometimes, not that we needed one. The other team DID have Tiffany. I wonder if there is a number higher than infinity to pose as their handicap…

Abby came close as we huddled around Zac. “I’ll guard the post because I have the best aim,” Zac began, thoughtfully. I could hear the ideas cranking out one by one. “We should put it somewhere high because it would require the other team to climb. So, we can put it in a tree. That way, since I’ll be guarding the post, I can easily puddify an open target. If they’re climbing a tree they can’t run, now can they?”

“But what am I going to do?” Abby asked, impatiently. She was inspecting the dirt underneath her fingernails with a great deal of contempt.

“Well, you’re going to be the hero.”

Her eyes lit up excitedly. “REALLY?!? Do tell!”

Zac laughed at her vanity. “Well, you’re the fastest. You have the longest legs and Taylor is pretty damn fast. We’ve had plenty of practice running for our lives from hormonal teenyboppers.”

“So, if you’re the goalie and she’s the offense, does that make me the defense?” I asked, redoing my ponytail.

“Not exactly.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Um, then what the hell am I doing?”

“You’re the kamikaze.”

That does not sound promising.

“Pardon me?”

“While Abby is running like mad to the opposition’s flag, you’re going to jump out suddenly and make sure you get all of the pudding blows. That way, she can concentrate on hitting the living hell out of the other team and not worry about being hit. Having you suddenly pop out at them will momentarily distract them and throw off their aim. They won’t know who to throw at and their hesitation will work out to our benefit. We can hit them before they can hit us.”

“You want me to purposely get hit?” I pouted, not liking this plan in the least.

“Not purposely,” Zac insisted, rolling his eyes. He began to climb up a sturdy tree. “Just make sure pudding hits you before it hits Abby. Got that?”

“I guess,” I mumbled, kicking a pebble. “So, I am going to hide somewhere and wait for Abby to come running, and then run next to her and commit capture the flag suicide?”

“Pretty much,” Zac agreed, putting the flag up on a higher branch of a tree. “But if you should see anyone, make sure you hit them! But make sure you can actually hit them because if you miss and then allow the enemy to know your location it would be extremely detrimental to the cause…”

“Hey Zac?” I asked.

“Yeah?” He replied, out of breath.

“This is capture the flag, not the invasion of Normandy.”

“Right.” Zac grinned and hid behind a pair of leafy bushes. “Good luck guys!”

Abby gave us a thumbs-up sign as she surreptitiously sneaked through the foliage. Fighting a groan, I casually made my way to some possible hiding place close to middle ground as I watched Abby bound towards the other side. You know, for someone who didn’t want to even play this stupid game, she sure jumped at the chance to play hero. Glory hog.

Looking down at my weapons, I wondered if it would be bad to eat one of them to tide me over while I waited to sacrifice myself like a spineless wimp. Making sure no one was around to yell at me for wasting ammo, I pulled off the lid and stuck my fingers in it. Grinning at the gooeyness of it, I greedily stuck my fingers in my mouth. Nobody does it like J-E-L-L-O….or was that Sara Lee? Or maybe it was Leggo my jello. Whatever.

I suddenly heard footsteps and the cracking of branches. Someone was definitely approaching. In honor of my supreme manhood, I would terminate any threat to my cause. I gripped my pudding and gritted my teeth. I was a ruthless killer… I was a rogue mastermind fighting for mere survival… I was Arnold Schwartzenegger….

I jumped up and pelted my victim with pudding cups. I felt a wave of victory and supremacy as I listened to the victim wail in defeat.

My triumph quickly dissolved.

“TAYLOR FUCKING HANSON!”

Oh my hell.

“Oh, um, hey Abby…” I drawled, sheepishly. “What are you doing there?”

“Gee, let me think,” she began, turning red in fury. “I was surveying the area for possible intruders and then I decided that I should come get you for the offensive. However, it appears as though my OWN TEAM MATE killed me! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

“I saw blond hair so I thought you were Brooke!”

Abby narrowed her eyes at me. “But Taylor, Brooke’s hair looks at least somewhat natural…”

My mouth dropped. “Are you insinuating that I am not a natural blond?”

“If the roots fit…”

I stomped my foot loudly. “This was the hair I was born with!”

She daintily gave me the finger. “You’re about as natural a blond as I am a boy.”

I stomped over to her and glared menacingly. “You’re just jealous that my hair’s better than yours!”

“Bite me, scarf boy!”

I gasped, my hand flying to my chest. Oh, no she didn’t! “Oh yeah, well you have cellulite thighs!”

Abby shrieked like a banshee. “I do not!”

Damn it. “Well, um,” I mumbled, trying to think of a ferociously perfect retort. “You will in twenty years!” So much for ferociously perfect.

“At least I’ll have something to support myself with, you osteoporosis-prone, sissy boy, poor excuse for a broom-handle!”

Before I could think of something equally biting and insipid, I felt something cold and gooey smack me in the middle of my back and slide down under my pants. Screaming, I jumped up and down as Abby tried to dash under the protective shading of a nearby bush. I couldn’t help but smile as a pudding cup nailed her directly in the back of her head with a loud thwack. She grunted and I toppled over due to obnoxious laughter.

Brooke and Ashley walked towards us and gave each other a high five.

“Couldn’t you see that I’d already been hit?” Abby asked, rubbing her tender scalp.

Brooke gave Ashley a perplexed look. “How could you have been hit?”

“We should go,” Ashley insisted, nudging Brooke with his elbow. “We have a flag to capture.”

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!” I shouted, rolling my eyes dramatically. God, does she ever let things go? “You can get over it, now.”

“Well, genius,” Abby hissed, trying to get some of the pudding off of her clothes. “If it hadn’t been for your sheer idiocy, neither one of us would have been caught by the other team.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ashley exclaimed, raising an eyebrow. “Do you think you completely outclass Brooke and I in Capture the Flag techniques?”

“Of course not…” I mumbled, ready to beat the living tar out of Abby. “She’s just mad because she wanted to be the hero while I just took all the blows!”

Abby groaned and covered her eyes. “You are such an imbecile.”

“Dude,” Ashley began, slapping her on the arm. “Are you going to let her call you a girl, man? That’s pretty harsh.”

“Hey, Abby,” Abby muttered. “How about you think first, speak second. That’s how things usually are supposed to occur.”

“Guys, this is only a game,” Brooke began, softly. She bravely stepped in between Abby and I. “There’s no need to fight about something as stupid as this. It’s supposed to be fun.”

“Is it too late to trade Abby for Tiffany?” Abby bemoaned, wiping some more pudding onto the warm grass.

“I would say so…” a voice said.

“ZAC!” We all exclaimed, incredulous.

“Did you desert the post?” Abby whined, sinking onto the ground. “And we had SUCH a good plan…”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Glory hog…”

“Scarf boy!”

“Cellulite thighs!”

“Osteoporosis-doomed broom handle!”

“Um, guys?” Zac said, looking extremely confused. He held up a blue pillowcase slowly. “I got the flag. We won.” There was no enthusiasm in his voice. There was nothing but the knowing look of chastisement on his face.

“WE WON!!!” Abby and I shrieked obnoxiously, forgetting all desires to kill one another. Abby stood up and threw her arms around Zac and I, laughing and cheering excitedly. I was equally as thrilled to win and found myself squealing like a girl at one of my concerts. I quickly stopped all madness and behaved like a well-mannered young man. Okay, I jumped up and down a little more. But…just a little more. Only for, like, a second. Or two. Okay, three tops.

Shut up.

“We lost?” Brooke asked, looking at Ashley. He merely shrugged, clearly just as astounded as she was. “How did this happen? We creamed two of them at one time! That left three of us against one of them!” She quickly turned to Zac, a befuddled expression on her face. “How did you beat us?”

Zac smiled boastfully. “You see, I created a fake plan that teamed Abby and Taylor together. I knew that there was no way they could go five minutes without one somehow insulting the other, therefore causing a loud argument. That, in turn, would immediately snag both of your attentions, because naturally people like to be paired up to watch each other’s backs. And while you two were momentarily distracted, I skulked over and found Tiffany all by herself guarding a flag poorly hidden in a bush behind her.” Zac shook his head firmly. “I hit her before she could even pick up a pudding cup.”

Ashley groaned. “Well, now that almost all of us are covered in sticky, sugary pudding, we need to find a way to get clean. By the way, where’s Tiff?”

“Funny you should bring that up,” Zac replied, still grinning from a well-earned victory. “She was horrified at the fact that there was a little bit of Jello chocolate pudding in her hair that she decided to take a swim in the lake to clean off.”

“There’s a lake,” Abby said, in a flat tone. “I didn’t know there was a lake. Since when is there a lake?”

“I didn’t know there was a lake here!” Brooke exclaimed, biting her thumb as she thought. “I didn’t bring any bathing suits.” She looked around at everyone. “Did anyone else?” Everyone shook their heads in response.

“Oh, well! We’ll have to go swimming another time then…” Abby said, flicking an ant off of her arm and shuddering.

“I don’t see why we couldn’t go swimming,” Brooke said, grinning evilly. “We’re all old enough to go skinny dipping.”

Be still my heart.

“Sounds okay to me,” Ashley replied, a grin rapidly spreading across his face. If he dared to so much as look at Brooke naked with so much as a glance from peripheral vision, I would castrate him.

“You know, swimming actually sounds like fun,” Zac agreed, stuffing the blue pillowcase into his pocket. “I haven’t gone swimming in a long time. And the lake looks beautiful.”

“BROOKE!” Abby squealed, her eyes wide as saucers. “Won’t you feel a little over exposed being naked in front of horny teenage guys?”

She gave Abby a coy look that could make grown men wet their pants in excitement. This, in turn, caused Zac to chuckle, me to blush profusely, and Abby to clear her throat uncomfortably. With the majority of us on the affirmative, we began our short trek to the lake. Tiffany, who was already naked as a jay bird, waved excitedly from within the warm water. Ashley wasted no time in shedding his t-shirt, cargo shorts, and white briefs to get to his “beloved” of the weekend.

“Nice tightie-whities!” Zac hollered, covering his eyes from the whiteness that was Ashley's naked ass. He then shucked his t-shirt, baggy jeans, and boxer-briefs before cannon-balling into the dark lake.

“Zac’s got such a bubble-butt,” Abby stated, to me.

I stuck out my tongue. “You’re gross. Can you not check out my little brother when other people are around, please? The last thing I need is a rumor that I’m incestuous with my brother.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be jealous. Maybe someday you’ll grow into yourself, Flat-ass.”

I shot her my patented dirty look. “Are you starting with me?”

Abby groaned. “No. I’m too busy trying to figure out a way to get out of this horrific skinny dipping ordeal to spar with you, appealing as it sounds. Since you’re never any help, I have to try to think of something completely by myself.”

“DAMN IT!” I shouted, hearing a third splash. Brooke’s head bobbed out of the water a moment later and I cursed silently. “Now you made me miss what I’ve dreamt of witnessing for so long!” I frowned as Brooke began to swim over to Tiffany. I had missed seeing Brooke’s naked form because I had been too busy arguing with Abby. How fitting.

“Oh, no! Now you might only be runner up for pervert of the year!” Abby chided, shaking her head.

“But Brooke was naked. Completely naked. No underwear, no nothing.” I now know the true meaning of sorrow. “And I saw none of the astonishing splendor of what a naked woman truly is…”

“Someone please cut out my eardrums…” she begged, looking upward.

I simply shrugged. “I don’t know why you care anyway.”

“About being naked in front of people?” She hissed, glaring at me. “How can you even ask me that? I don’t care if I get naked because boys never care what each other looks like. I don’t want you to get naked! I don’t want everyone to see ME naked! Can you understand that?”

“No,” I replied, honestly. “We’re all friends here, Abby. No one is really looking at each other. We’re just having fun.”

“Come on, you scaredy cats!” Brooke shouted, from the lake. She had a gigantic grin on her beautiful face.

“Just a second!” I shouted back. I turned my attention back to Abby. “I think you’re just being sensitive. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” I turned a little pink. “And I’ve seen it, so I know.”

“Just because I had no choice in having YOU see me naked,” she began, quietly. “Doesn’t mean I want everyone else to see me naked either. I hardly know Jason and it would be really weird for me to have Zac see me naked. I don’t look like the other girls. I’m tall and skinny and flat-chested. I’m plain and boring while they’re both so gorgeous. I just… I can’t compare. I don’t want to be naked around everyone.”

I gave Abby a warm hug. She had such low self-esteem and for no good reason. “Abby, you are a beautiful girl. You have incredibly long legs and a body Giselle would be jealous over. You can’t compare yourself to girls who are simply different.”

Abby backed away from me, her face completely scarlet. “You’ve never said things like that to me.”

I shrugged. “Eh, I wouldn’t want you to get a big head.”

“Thank you.”

Now I blushed. “Geez, it’s nothing really. So, can we go swimming, or what?”

“I can, you can’t.”

“ABBY!”

She patted me gently on the shoulder. “I appreciate all that you’ve said but I still would feel a lot more comfortable if you’d just sit this out for me. Please?”

I pouted as I watched Brooke splash around with the others. “But all the other girls get to show off their girl parts…”

One glare said enough.

All I could do was accept defeat like a man. “Fine, be that way. Meanie.”

She smiled and began to unbutton her shirt. “Thanks, Taylor. I appreciate it. I owe you one.”

“Yeah…” I muttered, as she modestly hopped into the water. Brooke automatically swam over to her, coming a little too close for Abby’s comfort. Abby backed away from her like a scared animal, as Brooke continued to stay with her. They were talking for a few moments before Brooke swam close to the edge where I was sitting. I prayed to whomever was listening to please let her come completely out of the water. I at least deserved that for my cooperation. I mean, otherwise the boredom of not being able to participate would surely kill me.

Instead, she merely rested her arms on the edge and rested her head on them. “How come you’re not playing?” Her green eyes were so piercing when she was inquisitive. And I also want to add on how silky her skin looked as droplets of lake water glided down her form. I think all of the saliva has deserted my mouth.

I swallowed hard and try to remain somewhat casual. “Oh, well, who knows what could be swimming in that icky water. There could be fish or algae or even leeches. Not to mention piss or garbage compliments of previous campers.”

Tiffany screamed bloody murder and swam away from Ashley and towards the edge as Brooke immediately pulled herself out of the water. Abby ran like hell to the edge, softly telling herself to remain brave and that she would make it out okay. All three girls quickly pulled on their pudding-covered clothes, shivering from the imagery in their heads. Zac and Ashley just kind of stared at them, before begrudgingly wading towards the edge of the lake.

Back at the campsite, we began to pack and take down our tents. After the lake scare, all of the girls were ready to go home and take long, hot, sanitary showers. No one was looking forward to school the next day, but there was no point in staying out here too late and exhausting ourselves. And I was ready to get home too, in all honesty. After this trip and learning so much, all I wanted to do was find a cure for Abby and I and get back into my rightful body. No more hiding out for me. I was ready to be Taylor Hanson again.

I was ready to be me again. ME. Myself.

I wanted to play music with my brothers and get the hell away from science classes and talk to my Mom like I used to. I want to be able to make some friends with some of the people in my classes without fear that they’d see who I really was. And most importantly, I want to ask Brooke out officially. I want to kiss her and let her know how I really feel, and let her get to know the real me.

Sitting in the Escalade, I grinned as Brooke drove us out of the campsite. Everyone else was talking casually, still in chipper moods. I was just finally happy to be free of much of the emotional load I’d been carrying. Yeah, being stared at was still a problem for me, but at least I was on my way to getting rid of a lot of my social anxiety.

Just the right mixture of friendship, confidence, and happiness is truly the best medicine.