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Prologue - Journey to the Present

The Southern Baptist Convention has existed for 156 years and I was a part of it for 25 of those years. During my last two years of college and up until the fall of 1999, I was very involved - an outreach leader for a College & Career Sunday school class and also serving as a part-time youth minister at a small church fifty miles from where I lived.

As my faith grew, there were periods where the "fundamentalist" label probably would have stuck to me. But as I studied more, considered other ideas, and really looked at the life and teachings of Jesus, I felt a gap begin to grow between me and my denomination. And during those last few years I would cringe every time there was the annual Southern Baptist Convention - not because of the gathering of the largest Protestant denomination for worship and planning, but over the increasingly exclusive and disturbing statements that would get passed. There was a statement that excluded all women, despite their calling, from ordination. There was a statement affirming our government's use of the death penalty. There was a statement calling for all wives to submit to the authority of their husbands. The Bible was then elevated from being inspired by God and interpreted through the life and teachings of Jesus to being absolute truth and inerrant in all matters. Finally there was a statement added to the Baptist Faith and Message calling for all Christians to oppose homosexuality and label it as sinful.

Despite this ever-increasing gap, I tried to remain loyal to the denomination that first nurtured my faith. All my family was Southern Baptist and the friendships that were most meaningful to me were with Southern Baptists. Also several of my coworkers went to same church as I did.

I wrestled for a long time with what I should do. Certainly what forced the issue was that I was also struggling with my sexual orientation. The word "struggling" should be in all caps and in bold lettering. Shortly after I left my church, I documented the last few years in a series of articles that I wrote for an online magazine for gay youth. Understanding that others may desire confidentiality, I changed everyone's name except my own. I got a lot of feedback from those articles, but I have never shown them to people I know. I refer back to them whenever I start to think that coming out of the closet is not all that difficult and that gay people who are in the closet should just start telling the truth about who they are.

I became involved with a group called Soulforce in August 2000. Now that I am becoming more vocal about Soulforce, I get the impression that people think I quickly latched onto this movement with great enthusiasm. Not so - I drug my feet for several months. In fact, when I went to a conference near Chicago and was introduced to Dotti Berry, a gay Christian from Lexington, I squirmed somewhat when she told me the group she was involved with was Soulforce. Why? Because Soulforce is about confrontation and reconciliation. I knew that if I became involved it would mean that I would have to, at some point, face my former denomination. At the time, I just wanted to run away. I had left my church and I just wanted to run away to a place where gay Christians were accepted.

New Orleans, Louisiana - The Journey to the 2001 Southern Baptist Convention

I took a week vacation from work and on Monday, June 11th at 6:00 a.m., I got in my car and headed for New Orleans. This was the morning that Timothy McVeigh, the person charged with the Oklahoma City terrorist act that left 168 people dead, was scheduled to be executed by lethal injection. As part of my opposition to America's use of the death penalty, I wore my shirt that asks the question "Why do we kill people who kill people to show that killing people is wrong?"

After two hours of driving, I switched to the news radio to hear that McVeigh was now being put to death. Fifteen minutes later, a press conference stated that he had been pronounced dead.

Around lunch, I stopped at McDonalds just outside Birmingham, Alabama. I went into the restroom and, as I stood at the urinal, felt like someone was staring at me. Suddenly I heard a voice proclaim, "I'll tell you what I think. I think we kill them to rid society of them."

I quickly finished my business and turned around to see a young man looking rather serious. I felt unprepared as to what to say, so I just said, "Well, what he did was very evil. However I think it says something bad about America when we kill to show that killing is wrong." I realized I had basically just repeated what my shirt said. He stared at me, didn't say a word, and walked out. I washed my hands and sighed. How comfortable it felt when I just used to conform. Now I was pleading for the life of America's most hated criminal and headed into the Deep South to protest at the Southern Baptist Convention over their anti-gay teachings.

I arrived in New Orleans that evening and drove around until I found the building known as St. Marks United Methodist Church. This congregation had graciously allowed us to use their facilities that first night for registration, training, worship, and preparation. It was a small church and the hundred or so people gathered there easily filled the sanctuary. I saw Kathy Stayton, the American Baptist who had set things in motion by introducing me to Dotti nearly a year ago. I also saw Rev. Jerry Greenlee of the Kentucky Fairness Alliance. I think we were the only two people there from Kentucky.

At one point, Mel White, one of the founders of Soulforce and former ghostwriter for Jerry Falwell, addressed the crowd. He said that while he was a "Jesus Freak," Soulforce was an interfaith movement. He then asked for everyone to close their eyes and take a deep breath and listen for the voice of God whispering into your ear the words, "I love you." After a few moments we opened our eyes and Mel said that tomorrow, when you are told that you are an abomination and unacceptable, believe that God is whispering those words into your ear. If you believe those are God's words, then you will stand strong.

Before leaving the church and going to our hotel, everyone was assigned to one of five squads. In the morning, we would all march to the Superdome and assemble into a single row directly in front of the entrance.

Tuesday June 11th, 7:15 a.m. - Initial Journey to the Superdome

As we marched through downtown New Orleans, the Superdome loomed before us with its otherworldly appearance. It looked as if an enormous spacecraft was parked in this city and could, at anytime, have its mysterious engines roar to life and launch upward.

As we drew near, we assembled into our squads and marched in single file. We wore matching shirts with the words, "Stop Spiritual Violence against God's Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Children." There were over one hundred of us who formed the row facing the Superdome. I was in the middle and helped to hold the large banner that stated, "Southern Baptist Teachings are Killing God's Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Children." We stood there in silent protest.

Within a few minutes, our greatest adversary arrived on the scene. Members of the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas assembled across the street and pulled out brightly colored signs that read, "God Hates Fags," "Aids Cures Fags," and "Thank God for Aids." I stared at a young girl, probably around ten years old, as she fidgeted with her sign that stated, "Hell is Real. Ask Matt." Another boy, probably her older brother, dutifully held his sign that showed a picture of Matthew Shepard, the gay college student who was brutally beaten to death in October 1998. Beside his picture was the following sentence: "Matt - 2 years in Hell."

Our banner and their signs. This is what messengers to the 2001 Southern Baptist Convention were met with when they came to the Superdome that first morning.

You can find pictures of this initial encounter on the website www.soulforce.org. Although they show the physical, these pictures do not show the spiritual. As someone who was there, believe me when I say it was intense. I had been praying for God to give me strength but I started to pray for the children who were holding these signs across the street. My heart felt heavy in my chest and a warm tear trickled down my cheek. These children were being taught hatred and I wondered if they would reject all faith once they grew older.

One of our members, feeling the spiritual struggle that was taking place, started leading us to softly sing. She stepped out of formation and slowly walked up and down the long line of people. The song we sang that morning, over and over again, was composed of only one word - "hallelujah."

Our Invitation

During the day, while the meeting inside the Superdome was underway, we alternated squads to hold our banner. Some Soulforce members who were not holding the banner went back to the hotel to participate in workshops and to watch a video. I worked with the group that was handing out invitations to the Jazz Funeral that Soulforce would present the following day from 11:00 a.m. until noon. As I write this now, I realize that I failed to keep one of those invitations. But if I remember correctly, the heading on the handout read, "Invitation to a Jazz Funeral to mourn for gay Southern Baptists and their families."

In the south, during the era of slavery and then segregation, black communities would hold jazz funerals, weeping for the birth of a black baby born into such a tragic life and celebrating the death of a black person as they pass into death and are set free. As students of church history know, the Bible was used to keep blacks in their place, as the Bible gives repeated authorization for the institution of slavery. The Southern Baptist Convention was formed over this dispute among white Baptists. (The Northern Baptist Convention was formed in 1907 and later changed its name to American Baptist Churches USA.)

In the tradition of New Orleans, we planned on holding a Jazz Funeral for the purpose of mourning for gays who are born into Southern Baptist homes and are taught that they are unworthy of God's love and cannot make their lives pleasing to God unless they somehow become heterosexual.

As the hot New Orleans sun beat down on us, we handed out invitations outside the Superdome. There was a very wide walkway that led from the Superdome to the nearby mall. This is where I and a few others worked. People at the convention would have a nametag on and, as they approached, I would ask if they wanted a flyer, saying something like, "Would you please consider this invitation?"

Some would quickly take it (obviously not knowing what it was about) and go on their way. Others would take it, walk away reading, and then quickly come and give it back. One Southern Baptist walked away saying, "You can't be serious?!"

Another would not take the flyer and, as he walked past, said, "Homosexuality is a sin. I forsake what you say."

One black Southern Baptist lady (and there were not many) declined and exclaimed, "Praise Jesus, I'm a Christian." As she walked away I called out, "Me too…"

One lady, when I told her that I had spent three years praying that God would "fix" me and make me a heterosexual, said that I must not have prayed enough.

One man just said, "I want to give you a hug." He did and I thanked him. Then he continued on his way.

I got handed several salvation booklets - the same ones I used to hand out (except for one rather unusual one titled Richard the Rhino Man that asked the question, "Are you a rotten scoundrel like I used to be?")

Others pulled out their Bibles and, as they flipped through pages, seemed genuinely surprised to discover that I not only read the Bible but also could debate with them and stand my ground.

Our mission at the time, however, was not to debate - it was to hand out invitations. Expecting that we might get sidetracked, the ones responsible for organizing this event had set up a time and place to engage in discussion with anyone who wanted to represent the Southern Baptist denomination. If one of our conversations went past a few minutes, we politely asked them to consider talking with us during the scheduled discussion time at the hospitality room.

This was hard for me, because I always feel like that there is just one more thing that I could say that would soften people's heart and make them see. Funny that there rarely is, but I always feel like there is.

One Southern Baptist walked up where we were. It seemed apparent to many of us that he was a gay man. He smiled, asked for our literature, thanked us, and walked back into the Superdome.

One lady that I was working with was a wonderful mother of a gay son. She wore a button that read, "I love my gay son!" She was so energetic! However, one encounter got her down. She was talking with two ladies and, as I continued to hand out flyers, I noticed that their discussion was going past a few minutes. I looked at her as she was turning to walk away. One of the ladies was yelling at her - something about sin. She came up to me and said that I needed to say a prayer right now. I was caught a little off guard, but I bowed my head and spoke a prayer of encouragement, asking God to help both us and Southern Baptists in this time.

Pledge of Nonviolence - The One Required Path for This Journey

On the first night, Rodney Powell, a civil rights activist in the 50's and 60's, had us sign the Pledge to Nonviolence. This was the same pledge that Martin Luther King, Jr. had his marchers sign in 1963.

1. As you prepare to march, meditate on the life and teachings of Jesus.
2. Remember the nonviolent movement seeks justice and reconciliation - not victory.
3. Walk and talk in the manner of love: for God is love.
4. Pray daily to be used by God that all men and women might be free.
5. Sacrifice personal wishes that all might be free.
6. Observe with friend and foes the ordinary rules of courtesy.
7. Perform regular service for others and for the world.
8. Refrain from violence of fist, tongue, and heart.
9. Strive to be in good spiritual and bodily health.
10. Follow the directions of movement leaders and of the captains on demonstrations.

I feel that during my time in New Orleans I kept true to this pledge - expect for one occurrence.

It happened later that afternoon. I was again on the wide walkway that led from the Superdome to the mall. I noticed that one of the guys, Gabe, a 21-year-old who was the son of a Baptist preacher, was being verbally "roughed up" by two men. I watched for a few minutes before deciding to "rescue" him (as others had done for me) by going up and suggesting that the men come to the hospitality room later for discussion. I opened the flyer to where it listed the time and place for this and proceeded to walk up to them. They obviously saw this as some sort of "retreat" on our part and upped their assault.

"You are destroying families!" one of the men announced.

My new friend tried to explain to them that this was not true. I added that we were just telling the truth about who we are and that for me to say that I was a heterosexual would be lying. The man then asked me about my sex life and how many men I had been with. I felt this question was intrusive, but I decided to answer it. I told them that I had been celibate all my life.

To my surprise, I have found that my sharing this does not have the effect of getting most fundamentalist Christians to reconsider their opinions on the gay "lifestyle." Instead, it often causes them to turn on me - as if suddenly with newfound evidence - and question whether I am gay. Several times when I have "played" the celibate card I have been told, "Well then you're not gay."

Such was the case here. I could feel myself getting a little irritated and I explained that the reason I had been celibate was that I had not found the right man yet. This shocked him, as if it was utterly incomprehensible. And for him, as a heterosexual man who seemingly did not have prior contact with gays, it probably was. But he was not yet done. He turned to Gabe and demanded that he tell him what Romans 1 said.

Of the five or six passages in the Bible that seem to speak on homosexual behavior, what Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans is probably the most common text of reference. In the part of his letter that has been titled Chapter 1, Paul is writing about idolatry and the consequences of the fallen state of humanity as he understood it. It is very possible that Paul had observed temple prostitution, which I have read was common in that day, and subsequently wrote about out of control passions and the exploitation of people. Maybe that is why his description of women who "exchanged natural relations for unnatural" and "men committing indecent acts with other men" makes an appearance within the larger context of idolatry.

Personally, I believe Paul did not know of the concept of sexual orientation and made the assumption that all people were heterosexual by nature. If that were the case, he probably concluded that anyone engaging in homosexual acts was an example of human sinfulness. Would Paul have changed his mind if he had known of loving, faithful, committed relationships between people of the same sex? I do not know. But I do not think that Paul's remarks should be the final word on the question of same-sex relationships. Through the years, followers of Jesus have had to think through the writings of Paul. Though a great founder of the church who gave his life for it, some of his statements are not considered absolute for all time. Certainly this is the case with "slaves obey your masters" found in Ephesians and "if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him" written in I Corinthians 11. What about "it is good for the unmarried to stay unmarried" written in I Corinthians 7? And what to do when Paul occasionally notes, "I have no command from the Lord, but…." Does that mean this part of Scripture in not divinely inspired? These are meaningful questions that should be considered by those who take faith seriously, who do not attend church just for the social element, and who sometimes desire more than "junior-high level" Sunday school lessons.

I wish I could have said something like that to the Southern Baptist who was yelling at us to recite Romans 1 to him. Instead, as he became more demanding, I gave in to the temptation of verbally striking back.

"Oh, now I remember what it says," I offered.

"Good! Then tell me what it says."

"It says slave obey your master!" I shot back.

The man screwed up his face. "What? No it doesn't."

"You are right, it doesn't!" I continued. "But you Southern Baptists had to rethink that one now didn't you?"

The conversation trailed off shortly after and they walked away.

I will admit, I felt a small surge of gratification over saying that - a certain sense of satisfaction at striking back at the denomination that fed me bread mixed with poison. But it was short lived and I felt convicted by my sharp words. Especially since none of us can say with absolute certainty how we would have dealt with the issue of slavery back when it was the issue. I forgave myself, remembered the Soulforce pledge of nonviolence, and made a promise to better uphold it.

I got my chance later when my group was the one standing vigil in front of the Superdome. There were probably ten of us there and we held the banner that read, "Southern Baptist Teachings are Killing God's Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Children."

A man came over to us and said that he had personally left the homosexual lifestyle. We were supposed to be in "silent vigil mode," but we talked a little anyway. Suddenly a woman came walking towards us with her husband. For whatever reason, she made a beeline straight for me. Our banner had apparently angered her and, once she was in front of us, she directed her comments squarely at me. "I want you to know that Southern Baptist teaching did not kill my children! They taught them to love Jesus!"

I did not offer a response and silence filled the air for a moment. She appeared satisfied with that and they continued on their way.

I think I understand what she was trying to convey: her thanks to the Southern Baptists for nurturing her children's faith and her displeasure with us for stating that Southern Baptist teachings are killing people. I thought about the wording of our banner, but I could not come up with a better way to express the idea that we were not protesting the Southern Baptist Convention, only the denomination's teaching that "the Word of God condemns homosexuality in the strongest of terms."

Also, a couple of Southern Baptist messengers came over and gave us bottles of water. As they offered them to us, one young man, in reference to our banner, said that they were not trying to kill anyone. It was a hot summer afternoon in New Orleans and the water was appreciated.

Tuesday June 11th, 8:45 p.m. - A Bridge Called Grace

After spending most of the afternoon handing out invitations to the Jazz Funeral, everyone met back at the hotel for more training. At 8:30 p.m. we started our march back to the Superdome for our candlelight vigil. Because the wind would likely blow out candles, we used glow sticks instead. Over a hundred of us stood in a single row across the street from the largest enclosed coliseum in the world. Inside, the first day of the convention was coming to a close. Buses appeared to transport Southern Baptist messengers back to their hotels. One of our heterosexual allies, himself a Baptist minister, led our group to sing.

"This is my story, this is my song…"

"Yes, Jesus loves me…"

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me…"

And over the roar of the buses, we heard our song being echoed back.

"'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, And grace my fears relieved…"

That was the night that Southern Baptists and members of Soulforce both sang in the streets of New Orleans.

Tuesday June 11th, 10 p.m. - 2:00 a.m. - A Personal Tour of the City

After the candlelight vigil, everyone went back to where they were staying. One of the guys that I had just met was Jonathan, a 24-year-old from New Orleans. He had not previously heard of Soulforce until we came to town. Jonathan wanted to give me a walking tour of New Orleans. Since I have no gay male friends my age in Lexington, I quickly agreed to hang out with him.

We walked down several streets and then went to the "gay" part of New Orleans. I was amazed and discovered that New Orleans is making a bid to unseat San Francisco as the gay center of the United States. I went into my first gay bar and then went to three more. I have never really liked the bar scene, straight or otherwise. But it was neat to see so many fellow gay people feeling "safe" in their part of town. We did not go to the two bars that had a reputation of being "rowdy" and I was glad. Instead, we sat at the bar in a place called "Good Friends" and talked about our religious backgrounds. Jonathan was Sidhe, a Pagan religion that he said was somewhat akin to Wicca. Pagans seem to be very interested in nature and often do not have set views on a supreme creator. I listened and asked a few questions, although I did not know much about Pagan history or beliefs. I did know that the church has often severely persecuted (or remained silent while others persecuted) those who were seen as Pagans. Jonathan asked about my religion and I shared my view that all people are created in the image of God and that I take to heart Jesus' command to love God and to love your neighbor as you love yourself.

We walked back to my hotel and Jonathan called his boyfriend, who was in the middle of watching Return of the Jedi, to come pick him up. He had to work tomorrow, so he would miss the Jazz funeral. But he wanted to attend the final vigil at the Superdome. We sat outside the hotel and talked some more as he waited for his ride.

Wednesday June 12th, 11:00 a.m. - For Whom the Bell Tolls

On Wednesday morning, all of Soulforce again stood across the street from the Superdome with our banner. After the messengers to the Southern Baptist Convention arrived and filed inside, we marched back to the hotel to make preparations for the final event - The Jazz Funeral procession that would stretch through the streets of New Orleans with the final destination being the Superdome. At noon, a press conference would be held there and the civil disobedience would immediately follow.

Excitement escalated when the six members of the jazz band arrived on the scene. We walked across the street to the little park and started to assemble into the funeral procession. It was still several minutes until 11:00. Not wanting to waste their strength, the pallbearers decided to set the casket down on the waist-high wall adjacent to the sidewalk. It certainly looked out of place there, and I wondered if people passing by would scoff at this rather nonchalant treatment of our deceased.

At 11:00 a.m., New Orleans' police suddenly appeared on their motorcycles. With lights flashing, they informed our group that they were here to escort our funeral procession. Those of us carrying black umbrellas opened them up. The jazz band softly started to play music, which went a long way in making this funeral feel "real."

As we started to move, my imagination sneaked up on me, transforming this somber ceremony into something that I hope I only ever see with my mind's eye: the premature memorial service of a deeply closeted gay friend.

Some people, with genuine curiosity, ask why we who happen to be homosexual so cling to the phrase "gay pride." I have come to believe that pride - the noble kind - brings deep healing to a gay soul. Jesus believed that the most important command in all of the sacred Torah, the one that sums up all the others, is to love God with all your being. Without being asked, he also offered what he thought was the second greatest commandment - one that is forever partnered with the first. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

In my opinion, this conversation between a Jewish carpenter and a religious fundamentalist sheds divine light on the "real" problem of gay people. Children in this world who grow up and discover that they are gay are not taught to love themselves. They are taught to hate - not hatred of others, but hatred of self. And hatred of self creates a rift in the love-relationship continuum. How can you claim to love God if you do not love your neighbor and how can you love your neighbor if you do not first love yourself. I dare say that the entire tapestry that is the God-human relationship becomes unwoven when the human utters the words, "I hate myself."

Perhaps some Southern Baptists will ask, "But when were you taught to hate yourself? How did you go away thinking that?"

My answer would be when we, who happen to be gay, were called abominations. When we were told that our lives could never be pleasing to God until we became heterosexuals. When the long-term relationships that we celebrate and strive for are labeled "counterfeit alternative relationships." When, at the 1996 Southern Baptist Convention, the resolution was passed stating, "Even desire to engage in a homosexual relationship is always sinful, impure, degrading, shameful, unnatural, indecent, and perverted." When the president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary says, "I see the modern attempts to normalize homosexuality as a threat not only to the moral equilibrium of the culture, but to the very survival of society." When we are told that we are depraved individuals for being same-sex attracted. You, as a denomination, declare to us that our sexual orientation is sinful and needs to be forgiven, sick and needs to be cured, while all the while you celebrate your own sexual orientation as a good gift from the creator. Southern Baptists rejoice at the breaking up of our relationships and weep over our faithful unions.

Do you not now see how young people's hearts are struck with fear when they realize that they are one of the "despised" ones?

Do you still not understand why suicide is the leading cause of death for gay youth?

Do you not sense that the high rate of alcohol and drug abuse by gay people is related to this sense of rejection?

Soulforce was criticized for performing a funeral in the streets of New Orleans and outside the Southern Baptist Convention. But I think it was very appropriate and, as I walked in the procession, I felt like we were helping to bring attention to this issue and offering encouragement to those who are still closeted and only able to join us in spirit.

Our jazz funeral captured the attention of many. Members of the Westboro Baptist Church again confronted us with their loud signs proclaiming God's hatred of fags and our future destination in Hell. Southern Baptists lined the sidewalks and crowded the concrete bridge overlooking the street. I overheard one guy yelling into his phone, "I don't know, but they're Soulforce and they're here!"

At this point, there is one Southern Baptist that needs to be mentioned. Her name is Terri Brown. She marched past the members of Westboro Baptist Church and yelled to us, "God does not hate you. He doesn't approve of homosexuality, but he does not hate you." She noticed me, offered a concerned smile, and said, "Hi Jamie."

I looked at her, then at her nametag, and mouthed the word, "Hi." I remembered talking with Terri briefly the day before when I was helping to pass out the invitations.

This would not be the last time I would see her name though. Yesterday, when I received my copy of The Western Recorder (the weekly newspaper published by an agency of the Kentucky Baptist Convention) I read some of the motions made at the 2001 Southern Baptist Convention.

"Terri Brown of West Monroe, La., who identified herself as the mother of a gay son, asked that the appropriate SBC entity 'develop ministry resources for those of us who for so long have suffered silently.' Brown's motion was referred to the North American Mission Board." (Western Recorder, June 19, 2001)

Wednesday June 12th, 12:00 p.m. - The Civil Disobedience

The funeral procession ended in front of the Superdome, where a press conference was held. Different members of Soulforce spoke, including several Southern Baptists and members of the clergy. Gabe, the 21-year-old son of a pastor, briefly shared his story. As he did, one of the ladies from the Westboro Baptist Church yelled in the background, "You're lying! You'll go to Hell!"

We then announced that, because Southern Baptist leaders refused to meet with us, we respectfully intended to deliver the casket, filled with letters of gay people who have been hurt by anti-gay teachings, to the Southern Baptists. The pallbearers took hold of the casket and those of us who decided to perform the civil disobedience slowly marched to the other side of the street and the entrance to the Superdome.

It is important to understand that everything we did was coordinated with the New Orleans police. We provided them with our entire schedule and informed them of all our intentions. Soulforce had also sent three letters to Southern Baptist President James Merrit telling him of our plans. The word "arrest" seemingly congers up imagery from shows like COPS, and that was certainly not the case with our act of civil disobedience. The officer that had been overseeing our demonstration the past few days, telling us where it was legal for us to pass out our invitations and showing us where we could protest, would now be helping to arrest us.

As we stood in front of the Superdome, security quickly informed us that we would not be allowed to take the coffin inside. Mel White and Jimmy Creech announced that we would not leave until we gave our stories to Southern Baptists. The security guard told us that he would contact the police, which took him all of walking five steps to do. At this point, the police officer came over and warned us that we had to leave.

There were a couple members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) protesting beside us. They looked very young, probably teenagers. One was dressed in a chicken suit and another was dressed like Jesus. When the officer made his announcement, they hastily complied, moving to the other side of the street with the rest of Soulforce.

Thirty-four of us remained.

The officer then gave us a final two-minute warning. Make no mistake, if we did not leave we would be placed under arrest.

Thirty-four of us remained. Everyone was watching.

"By the authority of New Orleans, I now place you all under arrest!"

Several officers moved to handcuff us with plastic cable ties. The jazz band immediately gave it their all with "As the Saints Go Marching In." The many members of Soulforce across the street erupted into cheers. I knew many Southern Baptists were watching, so I just raised my handcuffed hands into the air and pointed one finger upward. A black officer took me by the arm and led me into the police bus. As they drove us away, we sang a song I first heard at Promise Keepers in Washington D.C. "Amen… Amen…A-A-A-A-Amen."

A short time later, the bus arrived at the Police Station. A member of the New Orleans police department walked into the bus, looked around at us, and said, "I have good news and I have bad news."

Before the civil disobedience, Soulforce had talked with both lawyers and the city of New Orleans. We expected the fine to be $100 and a few hours of being detained. So when we heard the phrase "bad news" we thought it might mean possible jail time. Last year in Orlando, members of Soulforce spent thirty-six hours in jail.

"The good news is you chose to be arrested."

We held our breath.

"The bad news is… the city attorney has decided to drop the charges."

For a moment, no one quite knew how to respond. But then we cheered. Soulforce "veterans" marveled at this decision by the city of New Orleans.

We were released from our handcuffs and set free. The Soulforce members that did not get arrested were busy helping to shuttle us back to the hotel in their cars.

Epilogue - The Restless Spirit

Those of us who did not have to leave that night stayed and celebrated at one gay couple's house. Jonathan joined up with us again and I told him all about the jazz funeral and the arrest. Afterwards, we went to the one gay bar that I thought was pretty good and we talked some more. Late that night as we walked back to my hotel, we passed a young boy standing by himself on the street corner. He was carefully surveying the area.

We walked by him and, after taking a few more steps, the street-smart Jonathan told me that the man was more than likely one of New Orleans' young prostitutes - probably homeless and in need.

I did not what to do and as I conclude this report, I still do not. But the image of that young teenager standing alone on the dark streets of downtown New Orleans is burned into my mind.

And so, I left the next morning not so much thinking of what had transpired over the last few days, but rather with this thought: The Holy Spirit never rests. The Spirit is always ahead of the church, beckoning her to come join in God's work of bringing justice, peace, and healing to wounded hearts. It is in answer to that call that I assume my place as a part of God's church.

Sources

"The Southern Baptist Convention has exited for 156 years and I was a part of it for 25 of those years.": According to both the Southern Baptist Convention website www.sbc.net and the 2000 edition of Microsoft Encarta Encyclopedia, the Southern Baptist Convention was organized in 1845. Although technically I am still a member of a Southern Baptist Church, I made the personal decision to no longer call myself Southern Baptist when I left Porter Memorial Baptist Church on August 22, 1999.

"There was a statement that excluded all women, despite their calling, from ordination.": Included in the 2000 Baptist Faith and Message is an addition to Article VI: The Church that states, "While both men and women are gifted for service in the church, the office of pastor is limited to men as qualified by Scripture." Also, in an article written by Todd Stames and released by the Baptist Press on May 23, 2000 titled Culture, Not Bible or Baptists, Changed, Leaders Say of Men in Senior Pastor Roles, the following appears: "James Merritt, pastor of the First Baptist Church, Snellville, Ga., in metro Atlanta, who will be nominated to succeed Patterson as SBC president, told USA Today that while some churches have ordained women in the past, the practice is 'unbiblical.'" To lookup articles released by the Baptist Press, go to www.sbcbaptistpress.org.

"There was a statement affirming our government's use of the death penalty.": In an article written by Tom Strode and released by the Baptist Press on June 14,2000 titled Baptists Support Capital Punishment, Adopt Six Resolutions in Morning Session the following sentence appears: "Messengers to the 2000 meeting of the Southern Baptist Convention adopted six resolutions, including a ground-breaking one in support of capital punishment, in the June 14 morning session at the Orange County Convention Center in Orlando, Fla."

"There was a statement calling for all wives to submit to the authority of their husbands.": The 1963 Baptist Faith and Message was amended in 1998 with the addition of Article XVIII: The Family

"The Bible was then elevated from being inspired by God and to be understood through the life and teachings of Jesus to being absolute truth and inerrant in all matters.": The 2000 Baptist Faith and Message omitted the following sentence from the 1963 version: "The criterion by which the Bible is to be interpreted is Jesus Christ."

"Finally there was a statement added to the Baptist Faith and Message calling for all Christians to oppose homosexuality and label it as sinful.": The 2000 Baptist Faith and Message added the following sentence to Article XV: The Christian and the Social Order: "In the spirit of Christ, Christians should oppose racism, every form of greed, selfishness, and vice, and all forms of sexual immorality, including adultery, homosexuality, and pornography."

"In fact, when I went to a conference near Chicago…": The conference was called WoW2000 and was described as the first-ever ecumenical gathering of "welcoming churches" in North America. For more information refer to www.wow2k.org.

"As students of church history know, the Bible was used to keep blacks in their place, as the Bible gives repeated authorization for the institution of slavery.": This is common knowledge, but I referred to an article put out by the Baptist Peace Fellowship of North America titled St. Peter and the Jerusalem Protocol. In that article, author Ken Sehested writes, "More caustic for us, especially we Baptists, is the Bible's repeated authorization for the institution of slavery."

"The Northern Baptist Convention was formed in 1907 and later changed its name to American Baptist Churches USA.": I referred to the article Baptists found in the 2000 edition of Microsoft Encarta. For more information on the American Baptist Churches USA, visit the website www.abc-usa.org.

"If that were the case, he probably concluded that anyone engaging in homosexual acts was an example of human sinfulness." I referred to chapter four of the book Finishing the Journey: Questions and Answers from United Methodists of Conviction. In that chapter, John Holbert writes, "As was the case with his contemporaries, Paul knew nothing of homosexual orientation; he assumed all people were by nature heterosexual, and if they were engaging in homosexual acts, they cold be nothing but terrible examples of human sinfulness." A copy of this book can be found on-line at www.northaven.org/Book/Introduction.html.

"Does that mean this part of scripture is not divinely inspired?": This question was asked in the article put out by the Baptist Peace Fellowship of North America titled St. Peter and the Jerusalem Protocol. It is in reference to I Corinthians 7:25.

"It says slave obey your master!": As already stated, I was wrong in playing that off as being from Romans 1. The verse is actually, "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ." Ephesians 6:5 (NIV)

"…protesting…the denomination's teaching that 'the Word of God condemns homosexuality in the strongest of terms.'": In a letter that SBC president James Merritt wrote to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on August 17, 2000, he states, "Though we indeed do love the sinner and do wish and pray for God's grace to fall on every homosexual (as well as every heterosexual) who needs the Lord, without question the Word of God condemns homosexuality in the strongest of terms." For more information refer to the Baptist Press article written by Art Toalston and released on August 25, 2000 titled Southern Baptist Commend 'Dr. Laura' as 'courageous' on Homosexual Issue.

"Jesus believed that the most important command…": This story is found in Matthew 22:34-40 and a similar one is found in Mark 12:28-31. Jesus was quoting Deuteronomy 6:5 and also Leviticus 19:18.

"When the long-term relationships that we celebrate and strive for are labeled 'counterfeit alternative relationships.'": In an article written by Tom Strode and released by the Baptist Press on November 15, 2000 titled 'Christian Declaration on Marriage' Voices Religious Leaders' Concerns Richard Land, president of the Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, was quoted as saying, "By their very nature, broken marriages and counterfeit alternative relationships such as cohabitation and same-sex unions fail to impact and benefit society in the manifold ways that society is blessed by intact, committed heterosexual marriages."

"Even desire to engage in a homosexual relationship is always sinful, impure, degrading, shameful, unnatural, indecent, and perverted.": See the article released by Soulforce, Inc. titled Case Against Southern Baptist Teachings, which can be found at www.soulforce.org/nola_case.html.

"When the president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary says…": In an article written by James A. Smith Sr. and released by the Baptist Press on July 11, 1997 titled SBC Disney Boycott Among Issues of BBC Broadcast on Homosexuality Al Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Lousiville, Ky, is quoted as saying, "…I see the modern attempts to normalize homosexuality as a threat not only to the moral equilibrium of the culture, but to the very survival of the society."

"Do you still not understand why suicide is the leading cause of death for gay youth?": Although difficult to estimate, PFLAG refers to studies that indicate 30% of all teen suicides are committed by lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth.