July 12, 2002- 1:52 P.M. CT.
I am so friggin dizzy. Sitting here right now, the entire room is spinning...and why the hell does my right palm itch like a bastard? Great, I'm dying. I hope I feel better by 6! What will I do? I can't call in again this month. I might cry if the world doesn't stop turning in circles. Only way to stop it is to lie down, and it's completely fine...
Talked to you know who last night. Well, you probably don't. Not the one...but the other one. Nice e mail she sent, I read it 100 times. How sad of me. Maybe. I dunno. I'm in a really tough situation. It bothered me all night at work last night. I made all these plans, and I'm afraid to just flush them, because what if they were the right plans in the end. What do I do? I have no idea...but this is so hard. I'm scared I'll make the wrong decision. Either way, I lose someone who is a semi big part of my life. I guess you could say it like that. It's true. I'm trying not to be selfish...but, in the end, I guess someone is going to lose. It's surely going to be me and someone else, even tho she doesn't think this is hard for me. So she says...I think she did. Didn't she? Anyhow...this sucks. I need to go lie down. So dizzy.
I love you, and you know it. No matter what happens (it's true)....I'd even watch The Pulse with you, even tho you said it wasn't any good.