Chapter 22 - I’m going on a date with my brother again, aren’t I?

Abby

I’ll be the first person to admit that I am not always the nicest person. I know it. I can be a downright bitch even. Most of the time I really don’t care whether or not I hurt people’s feelings because I usually believe they fully deserve whatever I can dish out. That’s just the kind of person I am. I’m honest, brutally truthful. I won’t beat around the bush or fib for tact. If you’re an idiot, I’m going to tell you that directly to your face. I have little patience for people in general.

But what Taylor is doing is just plain mean. I just... don’t understand him at all sometimes. It drives me absolutely crazy that I simply cannot figure out how the boy thinks. His actions completely boggle my frazzled mind. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

He doesn’t feel a thing for me.

I take that back, he occasionally feels a twinge of disgust. But he saves that for when he kisses me.

I wiped a tear out of my eye as I walked out of the school and headed toward the parking lot. Detention had been so grueling today and I just needed to get away from that insufferable asshole.

I hate the way he looks at her. He’ll tease me until he’s blue in the face but when she enters the room, he stops breathing all together. He’s too busy drooling all over himself to actually formulate coherent sentences, let alone rip on her. Just once I would love to hear him make fun of her like he makes fun of me.

“Hey, Homo!”

I groaned as I noticed Tony Illioni, Jake, and another one of those jock clowns walking over towards me quickly. Great, just what I needed to deal with on this oh so perfect day, Tweedledee, Tweedledumb, and Tweedledumber.

“Hey, Queer,” Tony began, walking along side of me. Jake quickly went to my other side and put an arm around me. “Your sister’s a great fuck.”

I smiled at him sweetly. “Yeah, so is your mom.” Tony just stared at me as I hurriedly stepped into Taylor’s car. My, that had been delightfully pointless. I shut the door of the Explorer behind me and took a moment to catch my breath. I was fortunate Tony wasn’t in a fighting mood. The last thing I needed at this point was a black eye and some broken ribs.

I pulled into the Hanson driveway with a heavy heart. I hated this house right now. I hated anything that reminded me of Taylor, which unfortunately included even myself. I wanted nothing more than to return to my body and get everything Hanson out of my life from then on. I didn’t want to be friends. I didn’t even want to be acquaintances.

I entered the enormous house and closed my eyes as the noise bombarded my ears. I could tell that all the kids were home. The two little girls were sitting in the living room fighting over what to watch on the television while a little boy was whining to his mother that he was starving and wanted cookies instead of carrots as a snack. The two year old was running around in nothing but underwear and screeching at the top of her lungs as Zac chased after her.

Home, sweet home.

“Taylor!” Mrs. Hanson exclaimed, breathlessly as she ignored her demanding son. “Thank heavens you’re home!”

I gave her an apprehensive look. Whatever was about to come out of her mouth was not likely to be something in the realm of what I wanted to hear.

“I have a meeting up at the church tonight that I completely forgot about!” She continued, much to my dismay. “And I really hate to do this to you last minute like this but I really need you to stay home and take care of the kids for the evening.”

Oh God, was it too late to run out of the house and go back to detention?

“What about Mr. Hanson?” I suggested, scratching my head. I couldn’t be stranded in this house with a bunch of crazy kids I don’t even know. Believe it or not, but I’ve never been any good at babysitting. I know that my bubbly charm and warmth make it seem as though I’d be good with kids, but sadly it’s not the case.

Diana Hanson raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that “Dad” to you?” She smiled slightly at me, which only made me want to vomit. She thought I was trying tease her like the likeable, witty boy I am.

Excuse me while I gag.

Gag.

“What about him?” I begged, hopefully.

“He’s out with some of his old friends from the oil company. He probably will be back later than I.”

“Ike?” I squeaked. Come on, someone else had to be able to stay with the brats! I needed my time to wallow! I needed to mope! I needed to brood, damn it!

Diana shook her head as she searched the front closet for a pair of small heels. “He’s meeting with his English professor about his midterm paper.”

“Damn.”

“Taylor!” Diana pointed a harmless finger at me. I’d wager that Taylor has never gotten seriously yelled at by his mother at any point in his life. I’d bet that he could off someone and his mom would be like, “Oh, you silly dear! Are you killing people again, you goose?”

I blame his narcissism on her. Her lax parenting has made the monster that wreaks havoc on hearts of innocent girls today.

“Hey, Mom!” Zac shouted, still chasing around the youngest and currently most naked member of the Hanson clan. “Where is Zoe’s pink elephant shirt? It’s the only one she’ll agree to wear.”

“Check the hamper!” Diana shouted back, slipping her shoes on effortlessly. She pulled out a tan suede jacket and draped it over her left arm. She turned her attention back to me and ruffled my hair. I instinctively backed up, not wanting to be touched.

“Zac!” I exclaimed, as if it was an epiphany. “How about Zac? He’d be great! He’s got the IQ of a young child so he’d be a WAY better choice. He can identify.”

“He’s got a science project he has to present tonight at the sophomore science fair,” Diana explained, giving me a tired look. “And be nice to your baby brother. Especially since he already outweighs you.”

“Calista Flockhardt outweighs me.”

Diana smiled and pinched me in the stomach. “Maybe if you’d eat a little more you’d actually get some meat on those bones.”

“AH! Enough with the touching!” I barked, holding my hands in front of me defensively. Mrs. Hanson rolled her eyes and reached for her purse on the couch. “How much begging do I have to do to get you to hire a babysitter? I know we can afford it...”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Taylor. No.”

Come on baby blue eyes, work for momma.

“Stop that! I know what you’re doing!” She opened the front door and waved goodbye. She slammed the door in my face just as I was about to offer my soul in exchange for another babysitter.

I would not give up just yet.

“ZAAAAAAAC!” I hollered, bounding up the stairs two at a time.

“No. No way. Not gonna happen. Don’t even try,” he said, pulling Zoe’s pink shirt over her head. He then picked her up weightlessly and tossed her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She squealed with delight and wiggled tirelessly until he finally set her down.

“Please?”

He glared at me. “Abby, no! Just do something nice for once. It won’t kill you, I promise.” He walked past me and hurried down the stairs. I followed him closely.

I began to whine. “Zac, PLEASE! I am begging you! I am no good with children! In fact, I’m more of a danger to them than a sitter! Would you actually allow your siblings to be trapped with me for hours at a time alone? Do you think that’s wise? Would you want to be left alone with me for hours at a time?”

Zac gave me a look as he grabbed his jacket out of the front closet. “As much as I fear for my siblings, I have no choice in the matter. This is for a grade, Abby. It’s not something I’m doing on my own accord. Besides, you’ll be fine with them. Just be firm. I’m sure they’ll be so terrified of you after five minutes that they’d be too scared to do anything other than sitting and watching TV quietly.”

I sighed. I had no choice but to accept my defeat. “Are you just saying that to make me feel better or do you mean it?”

“Goodbye, Abby.” He opened the front door and stepped out. “Have fun.” He shut the door and I took in a deep breath. Maybe I was overreacting for no reason at all. In fact, maybe they’d be the easiest kids in the world to care for. After all, I am Taylor and therefore all things come easy to me.

I snapped back to attention when I felt a strong tug on my suit coat. I looked down and saw a red-faced two year old. Biting my lips, I knelt down onto my knee so that I was eye level.

“What’s wrong, Zoe?”

She wiped her runny nose with the back of her hand and then threw her arms around my neck. I fought the urge to push the germified kid away. I don’t even get paid for this kind of abuse.

“Mackie scareded me and I went pee-pee.”

I looked down at the floor and saw a small puddle. I then noticed that the child was, in fact, wet and squashed up against my chest. Begrudgingly, I picked up the light child and rushed over to the bathroom. I quickly shed my urinated suit coat and sat the little girl on the toilet. Her blue eyes were still full of unshed tears and she looked so ashamed of her accident.

I sighed, bent down on one knee and helped her out of the clothes Zac had just put her in. “It’s okay, Zoe. It happens sometimes.” She sniffed and kicked her legs happily.

Yep, she kicked me right in the chin.

“Sorry, Tay-Tay,” she sang, jumping off the toilet seat and kissing me on the chin.

I genuinely smiled. “Well, thanks. I needed that.”

I ran some water and helped her into the tub. I was actually enjoying spending time with the little one when I heard an ear-splitting shriek.

Oh yeah, there were three other kids in the house.

Since I couldn’t very well leave a two year old unsupervised in a bathtub, I cleaned her quickly, threw a towel around her, and rushed into the living room. I looked around to see two girls glaring viciously at one another.

And one was bleeding.

“What the hell is going on in here?” I exclaimed, at the top of my lungs. I set Zoe down and looked at the smaller and bloodier of the two girls.

“You said hell!” The older one exclaimed.

“Quiet!” I bellowed, examining the damage. The small girl had a deep cut on the right side of her forehead. She reached up and touched the cut, letting out a wail as she saw the blood on her fingers.

“Hell, hell, hell, hell, hell...” Zoe sang, out in her own little world.

“Taylor!” The older girl exclaimed, with a gasp. “You’ve got Zoe swearing!”

“I’M DYING!” The small girl wailed, stomping her foot. She glared at her older sister. “Look what you did, stupid!”

“You’re stupid!”

“You’re both stupid, now shut up!” I shouted, taking the bloody girl into the kitchen. I set her on the kitchen counter and handed her a wet washcloth. I searched tirelessly for some kind of first aid kit. I finally found one and cleaned the cut with Neosporin. I was about to put on a band aid when the girl stopped me quickly.

“I want a Scooby-Doo band aid!”

I sucked in a deep breath. “We don’t have any Scooby-Doo band aids.”

“Yes, we do!” The oldest girl insisted, sitting on the counter next to her sister. “They’re in the upstairs closet.”

Nobody hit your buzzer, sweetheart.

They instantly started hitting each other due to their close proximity. I had to slide the older sister down the counter and out of reach of the other one. I think these kids need to be on Springer or something.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened?” I barked, folding my arms across my chest. Zoe folded her arms across her chest and glared at her sisters in a similar fashion. “Why exactly did one of you end up bleeding?”

“She started it!” They both shouted simultaneously.

There is not enough aspirin in the word that could make me want to deal with this right now.

“You, go first!” I ordered, pointing to the bleeding sister.

She swallowed hard. “Well, I wanted to watch Rugrats and she wanted to watch General Hospital but I told her that we’re not allowed to watch General Hospital so then Jessie said that we could because you were babysitting and she said you were a moron...” Jessie gasped and looked guilty. “But I wanted to watch Rugrats and so I took the remote. We started fighting over it and Jessie threw a coaster at my head.”

“You threw a Barbie at me first, Avery!” Jessie screeched, defensively.

“You stupid!” Zoe exclaimed, looking proudly at me. I shook my head. I would deal with my little blonde parrot later.

“I want a Scooby-Doo band aid!” Avery whined, sniffing. She gently dabbed the washcloth on her tender wound.

I groaned. “Fine, by the time I get back with your band aid I want you both to have apologies ready for one another. Got it?”

“Yeah…”

“I guess…”

“Good! Come on, Zo, we have a band aid to get!” I picked up the towel-covered child and began to walk out of the kitchen.

It was then that I heard another howl.

Who in their right mind has this many children?

I looked in the living room only to just as quickly turn away. Had I not been the only “adult” and the one person who had to deal with all this crap, I probably would have burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all.

“Holy shit…” I whispered, softly.

“Holy shit…” Zoe whispered, sticking a thumb in her mouth.

Mackenzie had slipped and fallen in Zoe’s puddle.

I closed my eyes and willed this nightmare to become merely a figment of my imagination. I reopened my eyes and was forced to come to grips with the fact that this hell was real. I took a moment to rehash what exactly was happening.

There was a naked child in my arms, swearing casually, two bratty girls fighting in the kitchen, one bleeding from the head, and a little boy crying in his little sister’s urine.

Well, if my day got any better, I’d be dead.

“Oh, man, um, okay... Why don’t you come with me, bud?” I said, bouncing the heavy child in my arms. What I would give for the slightest bit of arm strength. The little boy followed me up the stairs, started the bath again, and then ordered him to undress himself so I could give him a bath too. I then, with Zoe still in my weak ass arms, rushed to the closet and grabbed a Scooby-Doo band aid. I rushed down the stairs and put it on Avery’s wound. After ordering the two girls to go into the living room and watch a Disney movie, I marched back up the stairs and gave Mack a bath.

Twenty minutes later, I had two clean, dressed children and a puddle-free living room. I was relieved to discover that no more blood had been shed between the two sisters. In fact, Jessica was braiding Avery’s hair as they giggled at the movie. Mackenzie hopped onto the couch with his sisters and rested his head on Avery’s small shoulder. Zoe hugged my neck tightly as she gave me a sloppy wet kiss on my cheek.

“Tay, my head feels all better,” Avery exclaimed, noticing I had entered the living room. “Thank you!”

I flopped down on the couch, Zoe still attached to me. “Not a problem. Just don’t try to kill one another again, you hear me?”

“Tay, how come you haven’t spent any time with us lately?” Jessica asked, softly. “It’s like you’re never around anymore and when you are you hide in your room. You don’t play with us, you don’t even talk to us!”

“Yeah,” Avery added, tearing up slightly.

I swallowed hard. The innocent looks I was getting from the four people in the room made me feel uncomfortably guilty. I had had no idea that Taylor was all that involved in their lives. My sister and I prefer to remain out of each other’s.

But I’m not Taylor. Of course they don’t know that, but it’s still the truth. How am I supposed to interact with these hyper kids I don’t even know? I can hardly manage to interact with people my own age!

“I’m sorry, guys,” I mumbled, sheepishly. What the hell was I supposed to say to this exactly? “I’ve been so busy with school that I hardly have time to do anything anymore.” I smiled as Zoe curled up under my chin. I sort of liked this kid. “But... I promise to try to make some time for you guys.”

Jessica beamed and moved from the couch to my chair. Taylor was lucky he had no ass whatsoever and therefore we could both squish onto the chair. Avery, who couldn’t stand to be apart from her sister, also piled onto the recliner. She sat on one of my bony knees while Zoe shifted to the other. To say I was painfully uncomfortable would be a large understatement.

Mackenzie looked at me with big brown eyes. “Is there no room for me?”

I’m too nice for my own good.

“Of course,” I mumbled, behind two blonde heads. “Come on over, bud.” Mackenzie grinned and bolted onto the chair, making me wince as my feeble bones throbbed beneath the weight of three children.

Have I mentioned how much I hate to be touched?

“We love you Tay-Tay,” Mackenzie murmured, as all the suddenly angelic children cuddled against me. I couldn’t help but smile at the situation. Usually such close contact made me want to lock myself in my room but this wasn’t as awful as I thought it would be. These kids were so full of love for their brother that it almost made me wish I was closer with my sister. It was nice to feel loved every now and then.

The shrill ring of the phone broke up our sweet bonding session. I gently pushed the kids off my lap and my thighs were eternally grateful. I picked up the kitchen phone on the third ring.

“Hello?” I asked, tiredly. I hadn’t felt like getting off my ass.

“Is Taylor there?”

“Unfortunately, that would be me. Who’s this?” I examined my dry hands. I definitely needed moisturizer.

“This is Brooke. Thompson.”

Like I wouldn’t have known who Brooke was.

Why was she calling me?

“Um, hi.”

“Are you busy right now?” She asked, sounding a little nervous. Imagine Brooke Thompson actually being nervous to call a guy.

“Well, I’m sort of babysitting my little brother and sisters.”

She cleared her throat. “Oh, well, I won’t keep you long then. I just wanted to call you and thank you for the note. It was really touching.”

“Note?” I asked, so softly that I doubted Brooke could even hear me.

“I had no idea you felt so strongly about me,” she continued, quietly. “When I saw you and Abby kissing, I thought you might have had feelings for her. But this note was so incredible.” She paused as I tried not to scream at the top of my lungs. “You wrote that... that you could see yourself falling in love with me…”

My jaw dropped to the floor.

“Is that how you really feel?” She asked. “It’s one thing to read it on a piece of paper. It’s another to say it verbally.”

I will not fall to pieces. I will not fall to pieces.

“Taylor? Are you still there?”

I could really put the nail in Taylor’s coffin right here. It would be so easy for me to fuck up his entire little romance with her with very little effort on my part. I could tell her that I just wanted to nail her or that I didn’t even write the note. I could so easily seek my revenge on Taylor for his blindness and lack of care. I could do it so easily.

“Of course it’s how I feel,” I stated, slowly. I don’t know what possessed me to say what was coming out of my mouth. It merely seemed like what I HAD to say. It was as if there was nothing else to say. “You’re really the only girl I’ve ever cared about like that.”

I could hear her holding back tears. “God, Taylor, I can’t even tell you how much that means to me.” I wiped a tear off my cheek as she blew her nose not far from the phone. “I feel the same way.”

“That’s wonderful.”

Please, God, end this conversation ASAP.

She giggled into the phone. “Well, this is going to sound incredibly lame but I was wondering if you wanted to go camping this weekend. Abby already said that you and Zac would love to come but I wanted to ask you personally.”

Does the endless cycle of pain ever cease? I mean, really?

“Yeah, sounds awesome.”

“Good!” Brooke exclaimed, excitedly. “I mean, I’m glad you want to come. I think we’ll have a great time. I’m really looking forward to this weekend now.”

“Oh, me too.”

Oh, Taylor owed me BIG TIME.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to your siblings,” she stated, ruefully. “I’ll see you tomorrow in school?”

“Yeah. See you later.”

I put down the phone and let out a quiet whine. I turned around to see Zac standing in the kitchen doorway, a concerned expression on his face. He approached me quickly and put his arms around me in a warm hug. I was about to push him away forcefully but then I stopped myself. I allowed him to rub my back and allowed myself to cry on his shoulder for a few minutes.

Eventually I separated myself from him. “Where are the kids?”

“Watching a movie in the living room.”

I sat down at the kitchen table. This was such an awkward situation for me. I usually don’t allow people to hug me and live to tell the tale. “You’re home early. Project go well?”

He shrugged. “It was an easy A.”

“Yeah, you’re definitely Taylor’s brother.”

He smiled and sat down in the seat beside me. “Want to tell me what that was exactly?”

For some reason, I found myself spilling my guts. I told him my feelings for Taylor, our kiss, and Taylor’s reaction to everything. Zac listened intently, nodding every so often. He was incredibly easy to talk to.

“Am I an idiot?” I exclaimed, after telling the entire story. “You’re looking at me awfully weird, Zac. It’s freaking me out.”

“No,” he replied, quickly. “It’s just that I cannot get over the fact that you did something nice. You just did something completely selfless.”

My eyes grew wide. “NO! Good grief, what’s happening to me?”

Zac sat back in his chair and grinned. “I think you’re finally beginning to learn how to be a decent human being.”

I snorted. “One step closer to sainthood.”

He nodded and moved closer to me.

“Must you sit so close? It’s evident that you need to shower.”

Zac rolled his eyes. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m proud of you. And that I see a lot of good in you, whether you like it or not.”

I glared at him, searching for something to reply with. I slumped back in my chair and moped as he searched the fridge for something to drink. I hoped he knew that dinner was all on him tonight, I’ve done more than my part.

I grinned wickedly as an evil thought came to mind. “Hey, Zac?”

Zac, head still shoved in the fridge, mumbled, “Yeah?” He pulled out a can of soda from the fridge.

“Taylor wore a lacy, red thong today.”

I smiled triumphantly as he dropped the soda on the ground.

“You’re a mean girl, Abby,” Zac said, chuckling. He grew incredibly serious. “Did you actually see it?”

I shrugged, happy to have my proper title back. “You might want to let that soda sit a while before you open it. I’ve got to tell you about your weekend camping trip anyway...”

“Camping?” He asked, listening to the soda fizz in the can. He gave me a tired look. “I’m going on a date with my brother again, aren’t I?”

“You are indeed,” I replied, shaking my head. “And I’m going out with a girl who thinks I’m falling in love with her.”

He sat back down next to me. “Well, it seems we have a few days to plan a good way to make Taylor miserable this weekend then, don’t we?”

My eyes sparkled giddily. “It seems we do.”