Chapter 10 - Taylor Hanson loves the cock!

Abby

“Is Taylor always this dramatic?” I asked Zac, shortly after Taylor had bolted out the door.

Zac shrugged. “It’s his inner diva. What was all that about anyway?”

“I forgot to turn in a paper for English,” I explained. “And I apologized for it but he wouldn’t hear anything of it.”

“I remember him working hard on that paper,” Zac mused, biting his lip. “He put a whole lot of effort into it. I think he really wanted to impress the teacher. I guess he really respects her, which is a big deal for him.”

As if I didn’t feel bad enough. Now the little brother was giving me the guilt trip.

“Well, he should understand that I’ve been very stressed about everything that’s been going on,” I explained, in my own meek defense. “I’ve been a boy for almost three whole days now. It’s not exactly growing on me either. I’ve been killing myself to get us switched back and he’s been doing absolutely nothing! I think that I should be the one mad at him!”

“I think you guys shouldn’t be mad at each other period,” Zac muttered, staring at all the food Taylor had neglected in his dash to the outdoors. “All that food, what a shame.”

I eyed it carefully. “Toss over the sour cream and onion chips. Taylor’s the luckiest guy in the world. He has, like, a super-metabolism or something.” I munched happily on potato chips as I continued to search fruitlessly for possible cures. “Hey! Look at this!”

Zac eagerly rushed over. “Have you found something? Hmm, “Misplaced Spirits Catalogue. Everything one would need to capture a soul.” This is perfect, Abby!”

I grinned and scrolled down. I felt tears spring to my eyes as I read the fine print at the bottom of the page. “For entertainment purposes only.”

“Damn, I thought for sure you had something.”

I sat back against the wall and groaned. “I hate life. I really do.”

***

The next day at school was not a happy one for me. I had been up till three in the morning researching on the Internet desperately for a way to change back into a girl. Whatever charm it might have had in the beginning, being stuck in Taylor’s body was becoming more and more unbearable by the second.

I was already sick and tired of pretending to be Taylor in school and at his home. As much as I try to remain isolated in his room, the younger siblings seem to go out of their way to find me. I feel like I’m upsetting them too, since they act as though the real Taylor had always been really playful with them. But I don’t even know these kids! Pretending to be their brother is a little weird for me and they’ll just have to be a little understanding about that.

And the saddest thing was, was that I couldn’t even attend my own classes. Classes that I picked for myself in order to better prepare myself in college. And now Taylor, whom I supposed had no desire for higher education, was absorbing (I hope) all of my valuable education.

Speaking of Taylor, I wanted to go and apologize once again to him. I suppose that my lame attempt at an apology yesterday wouldn’t really suffice and decided to make another feeble attempt. Later on that afternoon I would get down on my hands and knees and plead with his English teacher for mercy with his paper. So much groveling, so little time.

I waited by my locker up until the late bell rung, a little worried since Taylor had neglected to show. I hoped he wasn’t skipping school just because he was still mad at me. I swear, a girl makes a little boo-boo and he freaks out.

Reluctantly, I left my locker and started towards his homeroom. His classes were fortunately simple to find and it wouldn’t be long until I memorized them. I only hoped he remembered that I had a test in World History first period. I wasn’t too worried about him taking my test for me, especially since he had the same course and would probably ace it for me. Hell, my scholarship needed all the help it could get.

I didn’t actually see Taylor until the end of second period when my class got out. He didn’t seem to notice me, so I had to jog to catch up with him. I tapped him on the arm when I reached him and he gave me the biggest grin that I think I’ve ever seen him give. I felt a slight tremor of paranoia flow through me, but ignored it as best I could.

“Someone’s all smiley today,” I commented, breaking the ice.

“Yes, yes I am.”

“Have you seen Brooke?” I asked, nosily. Okay, I’ll admit it. He had me a little curious.

“Nope.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Okay, Mister Mysterious, will you tell me why you’re so happy?”

“You’ll find out,” he replied, stopping at my locker. I stared at him bewildered.

“I’ll find out? That’s rather cryptic,” I muttered. Whatever. If he was going to play this stupid little game of “I’m not telling!” than so be it. “So, how did things go on my test first period? You had me worried there for a while. I waited by my locker forever and you never showed. But you made it to the test, right?”

“Sure I did,” he replied. “I’m hardly incompetent.”

I cringed. Now he was using my words against me. Perhaps I wasn’t entirely forgiven, which I suppose I deserved to some extent. “Um, okay then. How did it go?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t take it.”

“WHAT?”

“I decided that it would have been a valuable lesson about responsibility if I didn’t take your little test,” he replied, casually. I could feel the heat rising internally. “But it looked really easy. I don’t think the teachers challenge us enough.”

I could only gawk stupidly at him. Here he was, humming and looking through my locker and talking to me as though nothing has happened. As if I had no reason to be angry or upset or so livid I wanted to tear him limb from limb.

“Very funny, Tay,” I muttered, laughing tensely. “I get what this is. Scare me a little so I learn a lesson. But look, I have learned a lesson. I am REALLY sorry about forgetting to turn in your paper and then acting so blasé about it. I’m going to beg embarrassingly to your teacher and I’m sure she’ll let me hand it in today.”

He shook his head. “I’m not joking. I honestly didn’t take the test.”

“So, you’re telling me that when the teacher handed out the test papers, you just sat there with your hands folded on your lap and ignored it?” I exclaimed, feeling fear seep through me. “There’s no way he would have allowed you to just sit there and refuse to take a test! He’s all about making mistakes as long as you give it a shot! HE WOULDN’T HAVE LET YOU!” I flopped against the lockers, defeated.

“Well, he DID approach me,” he explained, casually. “But I let him know that I really wasn’t in the mood to take his silly little test. I imagine he was incredibly insulted, therefore he didn’t push the issue and told me I would earn a zero.” He grinned at his achievement as I plotted all of the fun and exciting ways to end his life.

“Who would have thought you would have been so vindictive,” I spat, angrily.

“It’s a character flaw I’ve had to deal with for some time now,” he mused, smiling. He patted me on the shoulder before trotting merrily towards my next class. If he wanted to start something so be it. Two can play this game.

***

After third period, I waited by the stairs, which was always crowded with students. Just when Brooke was coming down the stairs with Taylor, I began the revenge.

“You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals so let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel!” I shouted, breaking out into the running man. “GETTING HORNY NOW!” Everyone just stared at me, some snickering and others rolling their eyes. Brooke burst out laughing as Taylor’s face turned bright red.

I had only a few fleeting seconds to enjoy my revenge. Someone’s scream disrupted my dance and caused all of the hallway’s attention to focus elsewhere.

“Oh my God that girl just tripped down the stairs!” A girl in pigtails screeched.

I glared at Taylor as he looked up at me from the bottom of the stairs. People were laughing harder at him than they were at me! Life was so not fair. I had to give the devil credit, he was smarter than he looked. Of course people would rather laugh at someone who’s humiliated on accident rather than on purpose. Oh, he was good.

But it just wouldn’t be enough. A nasty, terrible idea popped into my mind and I couldn’t wipe the evil smile off my face. Could I really be that ruthless? That heartless? Why yes, yes I could. He was never going to be able to top this one.

***

“Tay, are you all right?” Eric asked, as we headed toward our designated lunch table. We sat down, Eric and Jason on each side. I set the cafeteria tray down on the table and wrinkled my nose up in disgust. Meatloaf and lumpy potatoes again. Couldn’t an exclusive learning establishment such as Dayton afford something actually edible? I suddenly missed my bag lunch of peanut butter sandwiches.

“I’m fine,” I muttered, still pissed that my Bloodhound Gang episode had hardly stirred more than a dirty look from Taylor. He had retaliated so quickly that I hardly had time to revel in his humiliation. Well, I’d like to see him try to ignore this one.

When Taylor entered the cafeteria with Brooke and Brigitte, sitting at the “popular table,” he flashed a toothy grin in my direction. I deceptively smiled back. He was going to wish he’d never gone to school today.

About ten minutes after the bell had rung and the last of the stragglers had made their way into the lunchroom, I cleared my throat. I wanted to make sure everyone could hear me loud and clear as I stepped carefully onto the table.

“What the hell are you doing, man?” Jason exclaimed.

People were starting to stare as I stood proudly on the table. Perfect.

“Can I have everybody’s attention?” I shouted, causing the room to eventually grow silent. “I just wanted to make a very important announcement! Is everybody listening? Okay then! I would like everyone in this cafeteria to know that I, Taylor Hanson, am a flaming homosexual! That’s right, folks! I love the cock! Taylor Hanson loves the cock!”

The entire room gaped open-mouthed and wide-eyed. Tony and his group of jock started snorting and snickering, while a bunch of girls started whispering and one entire table of freshmen girls started bawling their eyes out. Grinning, I happily hopped off of the table and sat down between Eric and Jason, who moved away slightly and stared intensely at anything but me.

I shot a look over at Taylor and it looked as though the world had stopped spinning for him. His face was utterly priceless as Uma actually cracked a smile. Tiffany looked as though she was beside herself and Brigitte was actually offering her some comfort. He whirled around suddenly and started pleading to Brooke. She was as bewildered as he was.

Suddenly, Taylor bolted around and darted me an evil look. My breath caught in my throat. There was a terrifying grin tugging at his mouth. Surely he couldn’t be happy about this. No, the intense look of “you’re fucking kidding me” had been all over his face only a short while ago. And apparently, Taylor is not too good with letting this just roll off his back.

His eerie smile was really beginning to creep me out.

I watched apprehensively as Taylor crept onto the table, making Uma scream like a lunatic and Brigitte slide her diet coke out of harm’s way. He whistled shrilly and everyone’s attention turned to him.

“Who wants to see boobies?”

Oh, no. He’s not serious, Abby. He’s bluffing.

The guys (especially the hormone-driven jocks) started whooping and cheering in encouragement. Taylor, as if he had stripped for men all his life, teasingly lifted the bottom of his blouse and bared my bellybutton.

Okay, Taylor. That’s quite enough. You may sit down now.

“If you want to see boobies, you have to be a lot louder than that!” He exclaimed, grinning. The entire male population of the cafeteria exploded into a deafening cheer. If I wasn’t so horrified I might have been flattered.

“You want it, you got it!” Taylor squealed, lifting his entire shirt up. My mouth nearly dropped to the floor as I saw my own lacy pink bra. My entire face felt hotter than fire as Jason whistled next to me. I jabbed him so hard in the ribs that he had to grab onto the table in order to remain seated.

Tears started to spring into my eyes. He had gone too far. Failing my test was one thing but flashing half the males in my school was another. There was no way my reputation would ever recover. I was forever going to be considered “the lunchroom slut.” Could this day get any worse?

“Miss Deluca! Mr. Hanson!” Mr. Jenison bellowed, barging into the cafeteria with a couple of lunch monitors in tow. Oh yeah, I forgot about them. “My office! NOW!”

I couldn’t even look at Taylor as we walked silently down to Mr. Jenison’s office. A couple of times he tried to poke me but I just pretended I didn’t notice. How could he do that to me? How could he flash the entire cafeteria like that?

We begrudgingly sat down in adjacent chairs and Jenison let out an exasperated sigh as he sat in his comfy leather chair. Had I been in a semi-pleasant mood the reflection of the lights against his shiny bald head would have given me relative pleasure. Mr. Jenison put on his game face, looking stern and disapproving of our actions.

“Dorothy tells me that you, Mr. Hanson, decided to come out to the entire lunch room,” Jenison began, slowly. “Why would an intelligent young man like yourself make a mockery of yourself like that? There are more subtle ways of expressing your sexuality than jumping on top of a table and proclaiming it to the entire student body.”

“Being gay is nothing to be ashamed about,” I insisted, as Taylor glared at me. “If I could I would say it on television.” I paused, the wheels turning in my spiteful little head. “That’s not a bad idea.”

“Hey,” Taylor retorted, quickly. “I’m almost eighteen. Does that make it legal for me to pose nude in Playboy?”

Okay, scratch that idea.

“Well, I don’t really understand what is going on…” Jenison began, slowly. He looked from me to Taylor a couple of times, seeming a little more than confused.

“What can I say? I’m a horny little fudge-packer…”

Taylor’s face twisted. “And I’m a sadistic bitch.”

“Well, I’m an arrogant, thoughtless prick who makes a big deal out of nothing and then proceeds to degrade innocent people!” I shot back.

“You’re the thoughtless prick? Ha! At least you don’t make ridiculous comments that could drastically alter the life of an individual whose life has been in the media since puberty!”

Jenison was very confused at this point. “Are you guys having some sort of competition to see who is worse?” He shook his head sadly. “The youth of America is deranged if you ask me. What is this country coming to?” He turned his attention to Taylor. “Martha rushed to my office complaining that you were flashing the entire cafeteria! What is wrong with you kids?”

“She went too far,” I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest.

“And like you didn’t?” Taylor retorted with a snort. “Don’t you think that “gay thing” was a little over the top?”

“But flashing my chest to the world was nothing to you, right?” I shouted, causing Jenison to scratch his head.

“YOU MADE ME GAY!”

“Oh, no one cares about stuff like that these days…”

“I DO!”

“Are you kids on drugs?” Jenison asked, hesitantly. “Because you’re not making any sense at all. If this is some type of pathetic way of trying to get out of detention you’re wrong. Dead wrong.” He glared at me. “For your gay pride speech…” He glared at Taylor. “And your striptease you will both serve detention for the entire week starting tomorrow and be volunteers for the annual fall carnival next month.”

“Um, aren’t volunteers supposed to work voluntarily?” Taylor questioned.

Mr. Jenison glared at him. “Causing the uproar you did volunteered you.”

Taylor nodded. “I see. Thanks for clearing that up.”

“You know, Miss Deluca,” the principal continued. “I’m quite surprised at your behavior. One would think that in your situation you would be leery of causing such disturbances. I think you should take that under a little consideration before you do something like that again. There are plenty of intelligent teenagers who would be less problematic and would love to enroll here at Dayton.”

I bit my lip. If Taylor got me kicked out of school my life would seriously be over. I’d forever have being kicked out of Dayton on my permanent record and my mother would beat me senseless. I’d have to somehow change my name and whole identity while moving to Siberia or something. I’d have a fulfilling life of flipping burgers at McDonalds and scraping to make ends meet.

We left Jenison’s office together silently. We had been there for an entire period. Not that the time had flown by in that horrible jail of an office, but I hadn’t thought that the entire sixth period would be over.

“Abby, we need to talk,” Taylor began, turning to face me. “We cannot keep doing this.”

“Tell me about it,” I replied. “I’m going to get kicked out of school.”

“Let’s go to a diner after school,” Taylor suggested. “After last period lets out we’ll meet at your locker and I’ll drive there. We’ll have to bring Zac, since I can’t exactly leave him stranded here but he knows to just meet me by the car.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I figured that one out yesterday. It was kind of funny. I started pulling away when he ran out screaming and flailing his arms about for me to stop. He gave me dirty looks the whole way home.”

Taylor looked distant for a minute, as if he missed moments like those with his family. While I was just fine living my life without my smothering mother and callous sister, I could tell his family was completely the opposite. They seemed so close to each other. Being apart from them must be tearing him apart.

“I’ll meet you at my locker then,” I stated, before going my separate way to his next class.

***

We crammed into a booth at “Molly’s” with Zac and Taylor on one side and I on the other. We ordered our drinks and waited until the waitress departed before beginning our greatly needed discussion.

“So, let me get this straight,” Zac muttered, grinning. We had just filled him in on what had brought on the woe of detentions. “You made my brother come out and then he flashed the entire cafeteria! Why couldn’t I be in your lunch period?” He stopped abruptly when he noticed the dirty look I was giving him. “Not that I would want to see your boobs… I mean, not that they’re bad or ugly or anything… I would see them if you wanted me to…” Taylor and I just watched him, amused. “Oh, leave me alone.”

I shook my head and glanced over the menu. “Yum… I want a bacon cheeseburger with double cheese and tons of ketchup!”

Taylor stuck out his tongue. “Ew… If for some unexplainable reason we switch back and I have bacon breath you will be sorry.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, shut up. I’m doing you a favor anyway. You need a little meat on your bones.”

Zac snorted. “The steak and cheese sub sounds good, doesn’t it?” He asked, quickly.

“I think I’ll have a strawberry milkshake, buffalo wings, and some cheesy fries,” Taylor mused, licking his lips like a cat. I just glared at him.

“You’ll eat a salad,” I stated, closing my menu and putting it down in front of me. Just then the waitress came back with our drinks and asked our orders. Zac and I ordered quickly before the waitress turned her attention towards Taylor.

“I’ll have the cheesy fries, medium buffalo wings, and can I have a strawberry milkshake too?” He asked, sweetly. The waitress scribbled the order down quickly. “Oh wait, can I have some potato skins for an appetizer?”

We were going to have to roll him out of the restaurant.

“She doesn’t want that,” I exclaimed, causing the waitress to look at me strangely. “She’ll have a large chef salad with light Italian dressing.”

“No, I’ll have what I ordered, thank you,” he snapped, smiling innocently at the waitress.

“NO, ABBY,” I hissed. I turned my focus back to the waitress. “She’ll have the salad.”

Taylor made a face at me. “My boyfriend thinks I’m fat.”

The waitress looked appalled and Zac burst out laughing. I rolled my eyes at his lame comment but couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable as the waitress glared maliciously at me. To her I was probably some loser boyfriend trying to control his insecure girlfriend by telling her constantly that she was fat, therefore forcing her to cling onto me emotionally. I sighed.

“She’s a diabetic,” I replied, calmly. “If she eats fatty stuff like that she’ll slip into a coma. She likes to pretend her condition doesn’t exist.” The waitress nodded apologetically and went off to put in our orders. I grinned at Taylor triumphantly.

“Thanks a lot, Mom,” he sneered, pouting. “Now I have to bleed constantly and starve?” Zac looked slightly disgusted.

“Well, you should have been done by now,” I replied, sipping my Sprite. “Thanks to the pill I usually only get it for three days.”

Taylor choked on his Dr. Pepper. “The pill?”

“Birth control, stupid,” I muttered, tiredly. “Let me guess, you haven’t been taking it.”

“Well, since I’ve been a girl, the farthest thing on my mind was “I wonder what type of prevention she uses for pregnancy since I’ll be fucking guys and all”.”

I scrunched up my nose. “You’d better not lose my virginity on me like that.”

Both Taylor and Zac sat up a little straighter. “Did you say virginity?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I replied, sarcastically. “It was that thing you lost when you were twelve. I wouldn’t expect you to remember it.”

“Har Har,” he mumbled, blushing slightly. “Okay, let’s get down to business now. We need to stop fighting all the time and definitely end our petty feud.”

“The feud YOU started,” I added, stirring my straw around in my drink.

Taylor was about to protest before he stopped himself. “You need to stop egging me on like that. Look, we need to work together amiably in order to get things the way they’re supposed to. We should be trying to help each other instead of hurting each other.”

I nodded. “You’re right.” I suppose that I could suck up all my pride and set it aside for a while. “I’m sorry about forgetting to turn your paper in and REALLY sorry about telling half the school you were gay.”

Zac started giggling. “Oops, sorry. Didn’t mean to spoil the moment.”

“And I’m sorry for retaliating. Good. That was a step in the right direction.”

Lord, I felt as though I was in a support group or something. I could just picture Taylor and I sitting in some lonely room with beige painted walls, him sobbing all over himself in front of other couples who’ve had their bodies swapped. All I needed was a “Hello my name isn’t Taylor” sticker pasted on my chest.

“I know you’re thinking you have the tougher life to lead being me, and maybe you do,” I began, slowly. “Lord knows my life has never been simple. I have so many responsibilities. But Taylor, you have to understand how much I need to stay at this school. I’ve been killing myself to be valedictorian, although I might have to settle for salutatorian since you’re so fucking smart.” Taylor blushed. “I know I’m asking a lot of you but I really need you to work hard at school. Especially in the science classes. Getting into med school will be hard enough let alone with scholarships I need to able to afford it.”

Taylor swallowed hard. “I’ll do my best but that’s a lot of pressure you’re putting on me.”

“I know,” I replied. “And again, I apologize but this is my life. My future.”

“Okay, as I said, I’ll do my best,” he repeated. “But speaking of futures, you have to do a little something for me and I know you’re not going to like it.”

I raised my eyebrow. “I don’t have to sing in public, do I?”

“No,” he insisted, with a chuckle. “Um, how do I say this? I, or rather you at this rate, have a date on Saturday.”

“Oh, no…” I moaned, ruefully. I didn’t want to hear the rest. “Who with?”

“Brooke…”

“You cannot expect me to do this, really,” I exclaimed, with a groan. “She’s a girl. Not to mention the awkward she’s my best friend here thing.”

“Please?” He whined. “Think of all the work I’m going to have to do for you. All of the hours slaving over chemistry and biology books… I’m willing to do it for you. Come on and be a pal.”

I am such a damn pushover.

“FINE!” I barked, sitting back and crossing my arms over my chest. “But there is one condition.”

“And that is?”

“You have to come too,” I answered. “It’ll be a double date. I don’t care who you bring. Eric, Jason… it doesn’t matter. But if you’re not going than consider the date off. Do you accept the specified terms?”

Taylor, grinning, extended his hand out to shake. The agreement sealed, he flopped back against the squishy booth giddily. The waitress reappeared and set our food in front of us. Taylor frowned as a green, leafy salad was placed in front of him. Zac and I couldn’t help but cackle at his forlorn expression. I made sure I savored every juicy bite of cheeseburger dramatically so he could suffer. He gave me a pitiful face and I regrettably offered him half of my French fries, which he accepted gladly.

I am such a pushover.