Death and the Rock Star

"Taylor, I can't tell you how NOT in the mood I am for this. I'll call Val and see if she's still here and you can ride with her if it's alright. But this is not happening again!" He said and he stalked up front to where he'd left his cell phone leaving the three boys.

"Oh, isn't that convenient?" Zac stated, "He gets to ride with his girlfriends and we have to ride with all the babies and Mom and Dad. Man, it must be nice to be the chosen one." And he sat down on the seat and started rubbing his head.

Taylor just looked at him. "They're not my girlfriends, Zac." Taylor stated. "What's wrong with you?" He asked, now concerned looking at his brother.

"He's been sick Tay. Mom took him to the doctor yesterday, remember?" Isaac asked.

"No. What's wrong?" Taylor asked.

"Flu or something." Isaac said.

Now Zac looked up at them, "that's why I was trying to get through the show, I kept thinking I was gonna be sick. I'm sorry I didn't want to puke in front of 2000 girls."

"You know, you could tell me that stuff Zac." Taylor said softly.

"Why? You're too busy being Taylor Hanson to notice." Zac answered.

"Whatever." Taylor said and he turned away from them and towards the front of the bus as Walker was walking that way.

"Val said if you hurry you can ride with her and Brooke. But Tay, DON 'T be late. When we get to the hotel in Chicago, I want you there with us. No unscheduled stops-ok?"

"Ok, Dad." He said back to his father and he grabbed his backpack and stepped down off the bus.

Isaac looked at Zac, "I think he was about to apologize... you could have let him y'know."

"Whatever." He said and got up heading for his bunk.

Isaac smiled thinking his brothers were just too much alike and that was why occasionally, they got on each other's last nerve. Then, he headed for the tiny shower on the bus, not able to sleep if he didn't wash off all the sweat and grime from the show.

~~~~

"Now, why is Taylor needing to ride with us?" Brooke asked Val.

"Well, Walker said he and Zac got into it or something and he just thought maybe they needed a little time away from each other." Val answered. Val had been hired as the boys' stylist when the last one had quit to get married. Brooke was her assistant, she would do the laundry and make runs to stores to pick up things they all needed.

And Taylor liked them both.

He could have had any of the girls at the shows, but he really didn't like dating or hanging out too much with the fans. They never knew which one might be the one their bodyguards had warned them about, and Taylor's trusting nature had gotten him into trouble before. And he liked Val much more than the last woman. Val could manage to comb through his hair without bringing tears to his eyes, unlike "killer" as he and his brothers had called the previous lady. Brooke was sweet and very pretty and he couldn't help liking her as well. As he walked towards Val's car, he thought about the two of them. Perhaps Val was a little old for him, but if he liked her and she liked him, what difference should it make? Besides, according to his family, anyone over twenty was too old for him and though he hadn't asked (he wasn't THAT stupid), he was certain she was at the most, in her early thirties. And Brooke, well, she was closer to his age and was as sweet as sugar.

He could have spent days with the two of them, and had, a time or two. He knew his brothers were jealous of the arrangement, but if the girls were ok with it, then he wasn't hurting anyone, was he? It wasn't like either of them thought he was going to ask them to "go steady" or anything. As he walked, he ran his hands through his still wet hair realizing he hadn't taken a shower or even gotten to wash his face after the show. He reached into his backpack and grabbed the clean shirt he always kept on hand. He'd been thrown up on a couple times by overly emotional fans and he'd learned the hard way to always keep a spare handy.

Val and Brooke both watched as Taylor walked towards their car pulling off the little undershirt he'd worn onstage. "Oh God, why does he do that?" Brooke asked.

"Because he can." Val smiled, "Damn, if I were just a few years younger…" She said.

"He wouldn't like you nearly as much." Brooke finished her sentence for her. "I think that's a big turn on to him. So count your blessings." She laughed.

Val looked over at the girl, "I never thought I would just be able to share a guy with anybody else, but y'know? It sort of works, doesn't it?"

Taylor was now walking up to the car, pulling the clean shirt over his head, "Yeah," Brooke said dreamily, "and like my Grandma always said, 'if it works, don't fix it.'"

Both of them giggled as Taylor opened the door of the car and climbed into the back seat. "What's up ladies?" he asked flirting.

"Hmmm, " Brooke answered, "you tell me."

And with that, they were off to Chicago, and the next gig on the tour.

~~~~

Zac sat at the little table on the bus, looking out the window. He hadn't meant to be so grumpy with Taylor, but sometimes his brother's "perfection" got to him. Whether it was his perfect looks or his singing or his need for perfection from others, they could practice a song to death, have it nailed and still, Taylor would think it could be better.

Isaac stuffed his dirty clothes into his duffle bag, then went into the tiny kitchen area of the bus. "How ya feeling, squirt?" He asked Zac.

"Like shit."

"Here, drink some orange juice." He said and he handed him the glass he'd just poured.

"Thanks." Zac replied. "Ike, do you think I was being an asshole tonight?"

Isaac sighed, "If you really want to know, I think you're both assholes."

"Oh, well, ok then." Zac said, rolling his eyes.

"You know what I mean. I just wish you guys wouldn't pick at each other so much. You don't have to say every little thing that comes to your mind, y'know?"

Now Zac was the one to sigh, "I know." He sat still for a moment, then a grin crossed his face, "Hey Ike, whad'ya think Tay's doing right now?"

~~~~

Though Taylor was in the back seat of the little car and Brooke was in the front, it didn't stop the hanky panky from happening. "Damn, Taylor! Now I know how your neck got so long!" Valerie exclaimed.

"Mmmm, speaking of necking... I wish you didn't have to drive, then we could have some real fun." Taylor said seductively.

"I didn't say anything about NECKING!" She laughed.

Now Brooke spoke up, "Taylor, it's 2:30, you have to be at a radio station at 8 in the morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed... You better get some sleep. We told your Dad you'd sleep."

He leaned back in the seat. "You all are just a barrel of monkeys tonight." He pouted, "besides, I can't stretch out my legs back here. Is this some kind of car for midgets or something?"

Val looked in the mirror, just barely able to make out his smiling face. "Well, Taylor, actually, it's a Neon. Your parents pay me an awful lot for making you presentable, but, you know me, I put it all in my college fund."

"Val," he answered, "you don't need to go to college. I like you just the way you are." He then stretched his legs between the seats into the front with the two girls.

Brooke looked down at his worn shoes, "Taylor, you own two hundred pairs of shoes, seriously, I've seen 'em, and yet you continue to wear these same old worn out things."

He yawned and stretched his arms over his head, "Yeah, I know, cuz they feel gooooood." He nudged her with the toe of his boot and she smiled.

"Put your seatbelt on, your mom has a zero tolerance policy about that. And go to sleep, or you'll have bags under your eyes tomorrow and Val will have to break out the cucumbers."

"Oh, we don't want that now, do we?" He said and then he settled back, taking up the entire space of the small backseat. After a few more little comments between the three, the girls finally heard his last sigh and his breathing became even and they knew he was out.

"How much longer, Val?" Brooke asked.

Valerie sighed and looked down at the odometer. "About 2 hours if I figure correctly."

"Ugh. Hey, think I could go back there with sleeping beauty?" Val smiled at her friend.

"Well, considering he really does take up the whole thing back there, I don't think you'd fit unless you laid on top of him."

"Don't tempt me." She said back. "I guess I'll just stay up here with you and keep you wake."

Valerie shook her head, "well, at least you've got his feet to keep you company. Pick out some music, that'll keep us awake." As Brooke went through her friends cd collection, time passed and the road went on in front of them.

~~~~

Bill Matthews was leaving the Maple Tree Inn where he'd spent not only his paycheck but 3 hours trying to forget that his wife had told him she was leaving. It wasn't the first time, but there was something different about it now. She might have meant it this time. He fumbled with his keys for a few minutes before realizing he was trying to use his door key to get into his truck. He laughed to himself as he finally climbed into the truck and sat behind the wheel. He knew he was too drunk to drive probably, but it was just a couple miles to his house if he used the interstate, and he knew if he got pulled over, he'd probably know the cop and get off anyway. As he pulled out of the parking lot, he rubbed his eyes and opened the window so the cool October air would wake him up. He'd gotten all sluggish and warm in the bar and he was ready to hit the hay, hoping his wife would either be asleep or gone when he got home. But, he needn't have worried, as he never made it there.

~~~~

Zac had been trying to sleep for the last hour and a half, but his nose was getting stopped up, and for some reason, he just couldn't stop his mind from racing from thought to unrelated thought. It was driving him crazy. Finally, he just got up and went up front to sit next to the driver for a while. "Hey Danny," he said, "what're we slowing down for?"

The man looked over at him, "I don't know, just a minute ago, everybody all slowed down and now, it's just crawling."

"Hmm. Wonder that's up? I don't see any lights or anything."

Then, the traffic just stopped. After about 5 minutes sitting there, Zac's curiosity was too much, "open the door, I'm gonna go look."

"Zac, I don't know if your Dad would want you out there traipsing around in the dark."

"Dude, look, there's a bunch of people getting out and stuff. Besides, Dad's asleep." And he gave the man a smile, knowing he'd get what he wanted.

"Ok, but if it starts moving again, you get your little butt back here, and fast." And with that, he opened the door of the bus and Zac stepped down onto the pavement.

As he walked he thought how weird it felt to be walking down the interstate instead of speeding by at 75 miles an hour. He looked up ahead now and saw a group of people standing and pointing. The closer he got, he could see a pickup truck on it's side and off to the side against the guardrail, a car was smashed.

"Jesus Christ." He muttered, thinking there was no way anybody could have survived that. Now, he approached the small group of people standing there, but before he got a chance to ask them anything, he felt his knees go weak and his heart leapt into his throat as he noticed the decal on what was left of the rear windshield, it was a Hanson symbol and he now recognized the car his brother and his friends had been riding in. He ran as fast as he could on shaky legs and joined the two men who were trying to get into the car. "Oh God, oh God..." It was all he could say.

"Stay back son, it's pretty messy in there." The older of the two said to him.

"But my brother's in there!" He finally found his voice again. The look the two men gave him was sickening. Neither said a word, but one tried to lead him away from the wreck. "NO!" He yelled and he pushed past them to look into the car.

The front was totally gone, he knew without looking that whoever had been in the front seat would not have made it. "Give me something to break this window!" He shouted as he tried to pry the door open. One of the men handed him a rock that had been lying beside the road and he smashed in the window, though it was dark, he could tell by the size of the body it had to be Taylor. Both Val and Brooke were small and this person was over 6 feet. His legs were between the seats and pinned impossibly and there was a great deal of blood to be seen, though he couldn't tell whose.

"Is that him?" One of the men asked.

Zac was beginning to cry now, "Yeah." He said quietly. He reached in and pushed Taylor's hair out of his face. Blood was running from a cut above his eye and he had another bleeding profusely on his chin. Though it was a tight fit, Zac pushed his way into the window far enough to lean in towards his brother's face. The sound was awful and wonderful at the same time. He was breathing, but it sounded wet and labored. "Tay! Oh God, Tay, can you hear me?!" He pulled himself back out of the car, "has somebody called an ambulance?!"

"Yeah, my wife used her cell phone and called 911, they said it would be about 20 minutes or so, we're kinda out in the middle of nowhere here."

The phrasing the man had used almost caused Zac to throw up as he pictured himself and his brothers on their way to L.A. to record their first album. "Can you see that big bus back there?" He asked panicky.

"Uh, the red one?" The man answered.

"Yeah, can you run back there and tell the driver that Taylor's in here and get my Mom and Dad?" and then he stuck himself back in the car. "Tay, they 're on their way, just hang on, ok? Oh god, please don't die." He put his forehead against Taylor's and cried.

~~~~

Taylor opened his eyes and looked around. He was in some sort of room, white and clean looking. Curtains, machines, definitely a hospital room, and yet it was deserted. He seemed to be the only person here.

"Hello?" He called out.

But no one answered. He walked over to the curtain and looked behind it to see only darkness. He turned back and was startled to see a young woman standing there now, looking back at him. Her black hair was shiny and her pale skin was smooth. Her eyes were dark but had a laughing quality about them. Around her neck, she wore a silver ankh that shone in the light against her black shirt. "Hi Jordan." She said and her voice was sweet and made Taylor smile.

"Hi, um, most people call me Taylor." He said back.

"Oh, not me." She said, "I always call people by their first name."

He furrowed his brow and looked back at her, puzzled. "Do I know you?" He asked.

"Not yet." She said, "but you will." And she smiled at him and walked forward sitting on the bed and pulling her legs up Indian style.

"Where are we?" He asked her.

She patted the bed and gestured for him to join her there. "Well, that's up to you." She answered.

He sat next to her, amazed at himself for doing it. "What do you mean, who are you?"

"Well, Jordan, you can call me Dee."

"D like the letter or Dee, like Delia?" He asked her.

"Whichever you want."

He shook his head. "Ok, Dee, what's up? Where is everybody?"

"Jordan, you and I are the only ones here right now. We have a decision to make."

Taylor was getting very uncomfortable now. "How did I get here?" He asked.

"You've been hurt Jordan. Actually, the reason I brought you here, is because, depending on your decision, you could be spending a lot of time here."

Taylor was beginning to feel like he must be dreaming and yet, he knew he wasn't. "Am I dead?!" He blurted out.

She just got a strange look on her face, almost amused. "Not exactly. You see, Jordan, I get three miracles for every twelve months of human life. It's October, my times almost up and I hate to waste them. I have one left. And, I just looked at your face and your life and I thought I would offer you one. But, you have to decide, the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be for you. Too long, and you won' t be able to go back, or you might get trapped... a fate worse than death." She added dramatically, then she laughed.

"Oh God," he moaned and he ran his hands through his hair.

"Don't be calling him, he can't help you with this. It's all up to you. Though, I've seen a couple friends of yours..." And she shook her finger at him.

"Friends?" He asked, confused.

"Well, there were three of you in the car, if you remember."

He looked stricken, images of Brooke and Val coming into his mind, "they're DEAD?!!!" He gasped.

"They're here with me Jordan." She said with sympathy. "Do you want to see them one last time?" She watched as he wiped his eyes and sniffed.

"Was it my fault?" He asked sadly.

"No. It wasn't your fault." She said, sounding like his mother. "Jordan, we're running out of time. I can give you twelve minutes. After that, the clock starts ticking again."

He looked at her wide eyed, then he heard laughter coming from behind the curtain and someone trying get past it. "Good grief, how do you get through here?!" The girls were laughing as they finally found the opening.

"Taylor!!! We didn't think we'd get to see you again!" Brooke cried and grabbed him around the neck, covering his face with little kisses.

"At least not for a long time." Valerie added softly, and then she too walked over putting her arm around his waist and her head on his chest. "So, what' s this I hear about a decision?" She asked, looking up into his blue eyes.

"She says I can decide to go back if I want, or I can stay here with you."

Brooke smiled wide and jumped up kissing him on the lips. "Stay with us Taylor! Geez, have you seen yourself? You might not want to go back."

"Jordan isn't dead, he can't see." Dee said and all three of them looked at her.

"It's not that bad Taylor," Val said, "don't listen to her... she just doesn't want to let you go."

Brooke looked at him sadly and then to Val. Taylor looked at Dee. "How bad is it?" He asked.

She looked down at her watch, then back at him, "You have nine more minutes Jordan." Then she looked down at the floor, "Well, from what I can tell, uh... one of your knees is in very bad shape, crushed. That'll take some surgery and rehab. Very painful."

He looked at Val, "that's not so bad." He said and she smiled at him.

"I'm not done." Dee said, "your left wrist is broken. You have a couple very nice lacerations to your face, very bloody, but not horrible... Oh damn, you've totally wrecked one of your eyebrows…" She looked at him, then reached up and touched one, "and they were so perfect." She sighed. "Eight minutes. Your spleen is ruptured, that will have to be taken out, more surgery. Ouch, here's the tough one... You have quite a few broken ribs, you were sitting sort of sideways. Didn't anyone ever tell you to wear your seatbelt correctly?" She chastised him.

"Um, well... I guess, but...."

She cut him off, "seven minutes. The thing is, that has also given you a punctured lung. I don't think you're even going to be able to breathe on your own for a while Jordan." Now, she looked at him very seriously. Once again, she looked at her watch. For the first time, he noticed that under one of her eyes was a tiny black spiral, and he thought he could see stars in her dark irises.

"I don't know what to do." He said to her.

She wasn't often taken in by the humans she dealt with, she always was merciful and tried to comfort them, but she tried not to get involved anymore than that. "Jordan, I can't decide for you." She said softly. "But the reason I offered is because, I thought you still had a life to live. You have a lot to do and I think you were on a good path. Many people would be affected by your death. Your family and friends, but also, many people who don't even know you and yet, your life has meant so much to them. But, I won't lie to you, if you decide to go back, there may be days when you will wish you hadn't."

Taylor looked over at the girls he'd spent so much time with recently. "If you go, you won't forget us, will you?" Brooke asked tearfully.

Val put her arm around the girl, "of course he won't. Who could forget the girl that stole their boxer shorts and made a pillow out of them?"

Brooke looked at her and her mouth flew open. "You SWORE you wouldn't tell !!!"

Valerie laughed seeing Taylor blush.

"Four minutes." Dee said behind them.

Valerie walked over to Taylor. "You're still young Taylor. You should go back. You're strong and you'll be able to take the physical pain, I know it. Think about your family. Zac is with you and he believes the last thing he did was hurt you. And it was... don't leave him like that. You can do it Taylor, go back." She looked into his eyes one last time, "I sure will miss you though." And she ran her fingers through his hair, "and I'm gonna miss this." She said and she kissed him one last time, then she and Brooke walked away through the curtain with one last wave.

"Well?" He turned and looked at the girl standing in front of him. She could have been any goth girl walking down the street in New York City from looking at her, and yet she was so obviously much much more. "Three minutes Jordan. If you don't go now, you could go into a coma and just be stuck, you're bleeding inside and your lungs are filling up. You could drown in your own blood. The ambulance is there now. Are you staying? Or are you going back?"

He could almost see it now, he was dying in his brother's arms. His father was there as well as his mother. They hadn't told the others. His little brother and sisters were still asleep on the bus. Isaac was looking down at Zac holding Taylor' s head in his lap and the paramedics were trying to save him though they really didn't believe it could be done. "Alright, I'm ready. I gotta go back. Is it going to hurt though?" He asked her.

She took his hand and pulled him toward the curtain. "Yes, Jordan, it's going to hurt." She said.

~~~~

When Taylor opened his eyes and looked into the faces of his family, he knew he'd made the right decision and that he had to make it count. "Oh God…." He murmured. The pain was nearly unbearable and there were people all around him and lights flashing and people shouting and he could taste his own blood.

"Ike, he's waking up, he's waking up!! Mom, Dad!!" Zac was crying and laughing at the same time. It would take a long time to heal, but he knew that after that, he would have a lifetime to live and to make it count, that he had been Death's last miracle of the year 2000.