Greetings Fellow Biker Scum:

   
     'Tis April, the first true month of Spring in the Ohio Valley, when the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming and the motorcyclists are huddled within their garages, peering balefully through the open doors and wishing that the d**n weekend rain would stop. (Sigh)
    In addition to those two well known and clearly related annual events, April Fool's Day and Income Tax Day, there exists a long history of other April events of great social and political importance, including the invention of the bottle opener in 1738, New York's issuance of the first mandated vehicle license plates in 1901, the San Francisco earthquake in 1906, the sinking of the Titanic in 1912, the invention of that widely celebrated dietary staple, the Hostess Twinkie in 1930 and Foster fan John Hinckley's attempt on the life of Ronny Reagan in 1981.

    In the absence of Yours Truly, who had the sad duty of attending the funeral visitation of a parent of an old friend, which was fortunately greatly improved by the opportunity to visit with many long time and seldom seen compadres, our Glorious Leader, Big John, has graciously provided a summary of the goings on at the March meeting:

  "Greetings my fellow Bmokers, jokers, & tokers.  The tallys for our meeting at another Frankfort Ave. saloon-  Attendance: Members and two dudes straggling in cause they saw Brit bikes parked outside a bar (Jerry Hensel- 2 Bonne's '73 and '78, and Gary Roggencamp - 2 Bonne's '68 and '73) - a dozen or so.  Motorcycles:  Number of Brit bikes actually ridden by members of this Brit bike club- 3, ( 2 Tri. H, 1 Tri. M). Number of Japanese and Chinese bikes- 1 each. The events of the evening were as follows- Before leaving home all riders checked the tire pressures on their bikes and performed the proper safety checks since they've been parked all winter...yup. Upon my arrival, Hail To The Chief was hummed enthusiastically by all 2 constituents present. Then the ancient ritual of dead bovine flesh eating and fermented grain drinking commenced. Ah alcohol, always goes great with motorcycling doesn't it?  After the official period of friendly banter, fib tellin', and yucking it up, the formal call to meeting was given-(Shut up and get yer asses over here). The first interesting item announced was that former Prez and club co-founder Steve Parsch has cancelled his motorcycle magazine subscriptions, is selling all his bikes, and going into the drywall business. Oddly, Steve does not speak Spanish. Sadly this move has forced his wife Marcia to cancel the annual spring Tea & Scones party. (She has suffered enough being married to Steve!). On the bright side, Marcia announced that there will be an Oktoberfest party to make up for it.  Item 2: By executive proclamation, the first club member who purchases a new Triumph from Uncle Ed's Commonwealth (We all want to and should do our part to support Ed by doing so) shall receive the official club sanctioned laurel, and hearty handshake! Also for the RATs among us, anyone wishing to start up, control, or initiate a local RAT group for fun and adventure can get in on the ground floor now. In other exciting Triumph news... the factory demo truck is coming next month to Louisville! Your chance to sample some of the coolest bikes on the planet. After such a lengthy (over 4 minutes!) meeting, everyone was glad to wash their hands of such a time wasting venture and split.   Your Decider in Chief,  John."

    The April monthly meeting will take place at 7:00PM on Wednesday, April 9th, at the all new urban stronghold of our recently deposed leader, Ed "Il Duce" Staloff, Commonwealth Motorcycles. This bastion of the radically seated Ducatism Triumphant sect is located at the northern end of the Phoenix Hill area of Louisville's Green Zone, just west of the downtown security area. The coordinates of this heavily fortified urban enclave, which is defended by elements of the notorious Bin Thar Dunthat militia, are 625 East Jefferson. 
    While the agenda for this high level assembly is a closely guarded secret, information from a high level official, who spoke only on the condition of anonymity as there is no authorization to release this information, suggests that the schedule for the upcoming arrival of forces from the British expeditionary force trailer contributed by Triumph(Hinckley) may become available. Other than that, you'll just have to show up and find out what Big John may pull out of his bass fiddle case.
    Please note that this is the last monthly meeting for which we have a volunteer host, so 'twould be good if somebody saw fit to speak up and invite the huddled masses into their homes for May through November, lest we end up in an unsecured commercial establishment.

     A fellow BMOK with a noble and time honored first name, Scott McCusky, has forwarded news of a new documentary DVD now available called Brittown  which, in their own words, "features legendary underground mechanic and Britbike connoisseur, Meatball, from the Hell On Wheels bike shop in Anaheim, California, as he eats, drinks and sleeps British iron; using all of his skills to transform an old 650 Triumph Bonneville motor into a barely legal road racer. With more skoots, grease and honeys than you can shake a stick at, Brittown is a true life adventure not to be missed." There are two teaser videos available for your perusal, one at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORvzWA_qOyI&feature=related and t'other at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbe7e9Vx0SU&feature+related, and the DVD is available for purchase for $24.95 from the online store at http://www.choppertown.net/store/. (D**n videos sure make me wish that I could kickstart Ed and take him for a ride!)

    Former BMOK, former Senior Humble Scribe and permanent Senior Curmudgeon, Skip Davidson, has squeezed in time between performing weddings of dubious legality to forward news that the Wheels Through Time Museum in Maggie Valley, North Carolina, will be packing up their 250 rare vintage motorcycles and abandoning their 40,000 square foot facility as of August 31 to embark on a new venture whereby they take the collection on the road to temporarily display at various as yet undetermined museum locations. They will also be downsizing the collection for this endeavor and will be making some of these priceless heirlooms available for purchase through auction.
    If you've never seen this impressive display nestled amongst some of the finest motorcycle roads in the country, Skip reports that he and young Guy Davidson plan to make the trip for one last time some time in April or May, so if you'd care to join them on the adventure give him a shout here.

    I received an email from one Jerry Hatfield, the author of a book about legendary Vincent speed demon, Rollie Free, promoting his publication by offering up an episode of Jay Leno's Garage featuring the book, which sports an introduction by Leno. For those too young or are otherwise unfamiliar with Mister Free, he's the fellow in the black and white photo, wearing swim trunks and bathing cap laying prone atop a Vincent Black Shadow whilst setting a new world's speed record by running 150mph on the Bonneville salt flats in 1948. 
    Copies of the book, whose quality is confirmed by Doctor Denny, who just recently celebrated his 50th birthday and was naturally the first kid on his block to have a copy, are available directly from the author for $54.95, which includes both shipping and an audio CD of Free's last live interview in 1980. The address to mail your check or money order to is: Jerry Hatfield, 605 Hinsdale Dr., Arlington, TX 76006. 

    Riding sweep is an item for those that have been totally out of touch for a while and have not yet heard that Honda will be consolidating all production of Gold Wings from both it's Maryville, Ohio and Hamamatsu, Japan, facilities at a new factory being constructed in Kumomoto, Japan, ending it's North American motorcycle production, which began in 1979 with a 250 Elsinore. The 450 workers from the Marysville plant are to be transferred over to automobile production in Marysville or East Liberty, Ohio. Sayonara, Wingabagos.
    Well, that's it and I'm outta here. Hasta la vista.