The Corydon Cricket
Saturday Night, August 10, 1878
Page 1
We are in favor of temperance--in favor of the promotion of the temperance cause--in favor of taking the drunkard from the gutters and restoring him to manhood. When we hear the cries of the drunkards child for bread--when we hear the prayers of his heartbroken wife for relieve--when we see so many
noble hearted, noble minded men staggering down the road to hell, we are forced to offer a helping hand to the great cause of temperance.
This goes on and on.....
Page 2
PERSONALS
Wm. Lion, of Bradford, is attending the Normal. Bill is quite an Organist
And now comes the report that A. D. Rike is terribly "down on" the Cricket. That does not amount to much.
John Isterling, Jr., of New Salisbury, is tending bar in this place. Johnny knows how to mix the tangle juice--we understand.
Tom Lang tells us that he is not an educated man, nor is he a well posted man, but he can tell how long a hound will run, to a minute, by a single glance at him.
Bob Sims seems to think that the only way it can be ascertained who publishes The Cricket is to have the Potter Committee come down and investigate this matter.
Harve Applegate is opposed to The Cricket. As yet we have not said anything about Harve, but he had better keep quiet, as there is no telling what we might do.
Samuel Jack--no, we'll take it back--it wasn't Sam we saw trying to kiss that girl through a window of the school house, the other night. It was that big-mouthed Bill Meyers, not Sam.
Charley Aydelott visits his "sweetheart" most every day in the week, except when the New Albany dr?__?mer comes down, then Charles has to curry the mules.
Ham Thomas, of Normalites(?), was conversing with a young lady of our town, the other day, by telephone, and he asked her to send him a kiss over the wire. He received it, but says by traveling so far it lost all its sweetness.
George Cunningham and Wat. Lewis have agreed with their girls if they will not keep company with any of the young men, except them, of course, that they will not keep the company of any other young ladies. They believe in doing the thing up.Brown.
The other day we heard a small boy "shootin off" about Bill Kintner in this kind of style: "Ole cock-eye kin stan' out on the pavement afore the door an talk to sis, but you kin jus bet yer ole boots he never fills one of our parlor chairs."
Wm. Hueston-no, that's not the name-Hueston-yes, that's the fellow, keeps a little dry goods store on Beans corner, yes. Well, we heard a young lady speaking of Bill, the other night, said he was the best squeezer she ever met with, and said he does kiss so sweet. How is this ???
Tom Slaughter owns a very "High-Toned" mare. When riding her if she cannot walk upon the pavement she will not walk at all. Attach her to an old rickety buggy and she will not move a peg, but attach her to a fine carriage and she will get her head and tail up and dart off like a reindeer. She is also very particular in regards to her harness. She must wear the finest of harness, or none, (like a great many women). A high-strung nag, indeed.
In our last issue we published an item stating that John Lewis was wild, (we didn't mean a wild hog, it's a man.) and he got "on his ear" and wanted to "lick" everyone that had anything to do with The Cricket
Do not be so worried, John
Take things a little mild
Of course we wouldn't fight you, John
We would not strike a child!
And now comes the news that Archibald Irwin is going to "take in" a charming widow of the rural districts. Most every Sunday Arch can be seen leaving town, with his hat hanging on one ear, and about two feet of stand-up collar around his neck, for some parts of the country, we know not where.
"Take 'er in, is our advice.
The sooner, Arch, the better,
But now a question arises, Arch,
And that is, can you get 'er?
Lanesville!! Lanesville!!Oh, that horrible old Burg! They are opposed to everything that is good, unless they get it all themselves.
A married man of this place is in the habit of accompanying a young lady, unmarried, home from church, leaving his wife to take care of herself. There is something wrong. No more of it, please.
It is reported that a certain old maid has very frequently sent notes to the "General" requesting him to call on her. It is our opinion that the doctor will be the next one to call on her.
It is our opinion that if the members of the choir of the M. E. Church would not laugh and talk quite so much during services that it would look a great deal better. What do you think, girls?
We understand that a certain druggist of this place offers fifty dollars for the names of the publishers of this paper. As we are not afraid at all to make ourselves known, and we are a little needy, we feel disposed to accept of his offer. Put up, Doc, or shut up!
One of our colored citizens, the other night, caught his daughter and a certain married man, of this place, while enjoying some of the greatest pleasures life affords, and clapboarded both of them. As the board was very rough it done some pretty serious damage, though it is thought that they will be able to sit down in a couple of weeks.
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