News!!

"Captain Blye" Steve has been known to have a "short fuse" when it comes to technology.  Just observe the pile of dented computers and mouse parts in his office to see the evidence.  Then there's the "Stomp Test", the Kahre Underwriter's Seal of Approval.  So, when a string of slurred obscentities was heard coming from the bridge on a recent Kentucky Lake outing.  Shortly after, a loud series of bangs was heard followed by what "sounded like a hammer pounding" according to passenger Amanda.  The First Mate Karen was summoned to the Bridge not once but twice to "calm down" the Captain, who was taking his frustations out full-force on the chart plotter.  A few minutes later, passger Robert was surprised to note that the chart plotter had them located smack in the middle of Miami Harbor, and heading out to sea.  After about an hour of physical observation and sobering-up. the crew determined that they were NOT in Miami and that the Captain's "technician's taps" had blown the poor chart plotter's little mind.  The Captain was relieved of duty and went below to sulk with Captain Morgan until well into the night.  Apparently, this is not the first naviagational mishap performed by Captain Kahre this year.  More news to come. 

 

 

Victim of "freak accident" now expecting full recovery

"Rubberlegs" John was enjoying a New Years (?) party the weekend of January 7th with several acquaintances when, according to him "The next think I rememberr is waking up on my patio floor".  After regaining his sensess, he started to get up, but was immediately immobilized by a sharp pain in his arm.  Rather than endure more pain, he decided to sleep where he was and deal with it in the morning.  The following morning proved to be no better, and he called his trusty son Greg for help.  Son Greg was immediately on the scene.  24 hours later John was at the hospital with three orderlies two nurses and a garbage collector yanking on his amr to put it back in the socket.  This litle escapade left our hero half-incapacitated for the next six months.  Those who inquired about the sling were told stores as varied as "footbal inury" to "hit by car helping little old lady cross the street".  Since this accident and subsequent recovery, "Rubberlegs" has been observed wavering like a radio tower with the guy wires strapped on various occasions, most recenly after a temperance cruise on the Ohio River.  Eyewitness accounts will follow.

 

 

 

The court battle "Swabby" York vs. "Captain" Kahre continued this week with another round of suits and counter-suits.  The incident arises from a "freak accident" which happened during "Swabby"'s tour of duty on the SS Jobsite last Spring.  Apparently, Swabby took a nasty fall which resulted in a serious loss of blood, not to mention humility.  The most recent suite, filed by "Swabby" claims that he was wide-awake and fell on the stairs because Jobsite had inferior lighting.  The counter-suit, filed by the "Captain", claims that  "Swabby" was "under the influence" and sleepwalking.  To add insult to injury, "Captain" is suing for $6,000 in cleanup costs due to the massive bloodletting.  We will follow this story as it progresses.

 

 

 

 

News is just coming in on this story.  All that is currently known is that it invovles a husband and wife, their boat, a rope, and a new engine.  Reporters are interviewing an eye witness as this goes to press.

Film at eleven!