Another Day at Rivendell

A few years after King Elessar was crowned, the remaining members of the fellowship gathered once more in Rivendell. They had come together with other friends and allies to celebrate the coming of age of the King’s son.

The friends were somwhat surprised to see the King looking rather pale and scruffy.

“Aragorn, I thought the fighting was over and the countryside safe, but it appears you have been out fighting orcs in the wilds again,” said Sam.  “No fair campaigning without us” yelled Pippin and Merry as they hopped up and down.  “There is definitely the stench of orc about you,” Legolas said, wrinkling his delicate nose.  “Is it some strange illness that troubles you?” asked Gimli.

“No I have not been in the wilds and am not ill”, grumbled Aragorn.

“Tell us what troubles you,” said Merry. “Maybe we can help you.”

“I fear you cannot help me.”

“Your troubles cannot be that bad,” said Legolas.  “Remember you have marched against Sauron; certainly nothing is as bad as that.”

“Little do you know. You see my trouble is with Arwen.”

“Is she sick. Is she in danger,” demanded Gimli. “ Speak out.”

“No, you do not understand.  She is well, but I fear I was not prepared for marriage,” said Aragorn.  “The nagging, the whining, the complaining. Arwen is driving me mad. I have taken to not bathing in the hope she will stay away from me.”

“Oh is that all.” said Sam.  “What do you mean is that all,” grumbled Aragorn.  “I have not had a moments peace since our son was born.”

“Nothing unusual in that,” said Sam. “What you need is a hobby like gardening which keeps you out of the house all day.”

“That only makes it worse,” said Aragorn.  “Then she complains I am never home and pay no attention to her.”

“Send her on a long visit to Lothlorien,” said Merry.  “I did that,” said Aragorn.  “They sent here back after only one week with a note asking that she not return.”  “Oh my,” said Pippin.


“Legolas, you have been a friend to both me and Arwen for many years,” said Aragorn.  “Maybe you can speak with her.”

Legolas choked on his wine and sputtered, “Aragorn do you not know the women of Arwen’s family have always been, how should I say this... difficult. Would you try to tell Galdriel to stay silent? Do you think Elrond could make his wife do anything she did not wish to do? When you wed Arwen I believe many elven lords were greatly relieved to be done with her.  Do not ask us not to interfere.”

Aragorn began to weep.

“This is disgusting,” grumbled Gimli.  “I cannot stand to see you reduced to this Aragorn, so I am going to share a great secret the dwarves have known since the beginning of days.”

Aragorn looked up with some hope and dried his eyes. “What is this great secret, Gimli?

“Only this, to keep harmony in your marriage there are two words you must learn to say, and say often.”

“But I tell here I love her all the time,” interrupted Aragorn.

“Can you not count.  I love you is three words and I told you it is two words you must know.”

“Well do not keep me in suspense,” demanded Aragorn. “What are they?”

Gimli laughed and said, “Yes, dear.”

With that Arwen screamed from the balcony, “Aragorn!!!”

And as the small band of friends looked on and tried not to smirk, Aragorn called back, “Yes, dear!”