Overcoming the Why Me Blues

It's a long and winding road, heavy load.
John Lennon

I was standing in the greeting line after a church service when a woman burst into tears: "I have been in the hospital every two months for the last two years for various reasons. It gets me down and I keep wondering. Why me?"

Sometimes, when you are contending with a serious disease, or when you are going from one medical crisis to another it can seem like it's been a long and winding road, and like you have been bearing a heavy load. But the worst thing you can catch is a case of the "Whining Why-Me Blues". It will give you a spiritual flu that will rob you of whatever spunk and energy you may have.

In my experience, if you are looking for a medical answer, it may be helpful to ask, "Why am I so sick?" But If you are crying out "Why me?" because you have been having a hard time, and you are feeling sorry for yourself and wonder why God does not help you, there is usually no answer; unless you want to believe that God is evil, vindictive or mean.

To avoid catching this kind of spiritual flu, decide not to go down what I call the Whining Why-Me trail. Instead, try changing your question from "Why" to "What." Ask yourself "What can I do to help myself feel better?" Ask the following questions:

What about alternative medications and treatments? What about my personal habits could I change to help myself feel better? What about the way I eat, sleep, work, and play can I change to help myself feel better? What about my family relationships makes me feel better or worse? What about my relationships at work can I change to help myself feel better? What about my patterns of thought and my personal beliefs make me feel better or worse?

Once you have begun to answer these questions and have made some changes in your life, chances are that you will feel better. The long and winding road you are traveling on will come out of the woods and into the clear. Through your suffering, you will have gained some wisdom and grown in your personal character. Then you might have an answer to the question "Why me?" \





Dr. Greene is an ordained minister of the United Church of Christ and a resident of Richmond, IN. He is also the author of Feeling Better: The Wisdom of the Doc, You Can Feel Better: How to cope with chronic pain and physical disabilities, and co-author of Walking Free: the Nellie Zimmerman Story.


For further information about his books, please visit www.densmorereid.com

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