Here are some quotes I enjoy...which, in my case, means they serve as away message fodder (on AIM).





Alcohol
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"Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine." ~ David Moulton

"Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding."

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." ~ Frank Sinatra

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry

"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time." ~ Catherine Zandonella

"If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."

"American beer is a lot like making love in a rowboat....It's fucking close to water!"





Other
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"I intend to live forever - so far, so good."

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." ~ Paul Rodriguez

"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."

"When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."

"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" ~ Warren Hutcherson

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize....oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner." ~ Lynda Montgomery

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"

"When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?" ~ Robin Williams

"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?"

"I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache." ~ Jack Mayberry

"Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by." ~ Douglas Adams



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