Chapter 48

Marcy sat on the couch in her house drinking hot chocolate, alone.  Even her parents were down at the Hanson's house, having been invited there by Diana a few days before.  She looked at the clock.  11:20, she sighed looking out the front window.  They'd taken the tree down that day and the room seemed to have a big empty spot now.  Her mind went back again to the story Taylor had told her.  She wasn't sure she understood all of it, he hadn't written anything so she had to rely on her limited ability to understand his signing and his lips.  His eyes though, may have told the story better than any words.  The front door opening interrupted her thoughts and she looked up to see Greg coming in.  "Hey, is everything alright?  You disappeared on  me." He said.

"I just didn't feel like dealing with anything more tonight, so I came home."

He walked over and sat next to her.  "Well?  What was up with all that?  I mean, I know why Sherry was pissed, but what the heck was Zac talking about?"

She shook her head.  "I'm not exactly sure myself."  She looked at her older brother, wondering how much she should tell him, but she felt like she needed to talk to someone and so she continued.  "Do you remember Taylor calling me 'Sarah' that night at his house?"

"Yeah."  He said.

"Well, it looks like Sarah is a girl that killed herself over him."

Greg's eyes went wide.  "What?!  The plot thickens…"

"You don't know the half of it.  She was also the fiancée of the guy that kidnapped him."   Greg just sat there with his mouth open.  "Do NOT tell anyone this stuff, ok?"  She said, looking pointedly at him.  Now she leaned back on the couch again.  "I don't know if I'm qualified for a relationship with him or not, I think he needs somebody with a psych degree or something."  She rubbed her temples feeling a headache coming on.

Greg looked at her.  "What are you gonna do, dump him?  I don't think he needs that right now."

"What do you care?  You hate him, don't you?  Didn't he deserve what he got?  That's what everybody seems to think."

A wave of guilt passed over him as she repeated the words he'd used over and over.  He looked away from her for a moment, then back and he met her eyes.  "I really feel bad for all that shit Marcy.  Do you want my true, honest opinion of him?"

"Yeah, I do."  She answered quietly.

He looked at his sister, her dark eyes searched his face for some bit of brotherly advice.  He thought it may have been one of only a very few times she'd actually sought out his feelings on something personal to her.  Marcy was very independent and very opinionated and he knew it was hard for her to admit she was confused or that perhaps, she'd gotten herself into something she couldn't handle.  Especially after he and Tim had warned her about all the problems a relationship with Taylor would bring about... and so, he wanted to be careful what he said to her.  "He's an ok guy.  I've given him shit for two years and he's always been a good sport about it.  And, they got talent and I'm real sorry that man ruined his voice.  It's a shame.  He's got more guts than anybody I ever knew, and I hope someday, he can live with all the crap he's gone through.  I think you could do a lot worse, voice or no voice."  He stood and walked towards the door.  "Besides, he needs a mean ass girl like you, cuz Kim and all those other girls, they let him get away with murder.  If he pulled any of that shit on you, he'd get more than a kick in the shin.  I think he respects you... at least, he better."  He smiled.  "Why don't you come back, once the brothers packed it in, most of the kooks left."

She let out a breath and shook her head, "Naw, I think I'm just gonna call it a night.  Thanks anyway though."

"Alright,  Happy New Year."

"You too.  Give Tim a big wet one for me at midnight."

"Yeah, right," he laughed.  "I ain't one of your Hansons."

"I think they're more likely to hit each other right now."  She replied.

"Yeah, well, my money's on Zac."  And with that, he was out the door.

~~~~

Jessica had gone up to her room.  She'd asked to stay at the party rather than go to her grandmother's thinking it would be fun.  But, so far, it was boring.  She hadn't been allowed to go out in the back with the boys because there were too many people there they didn't know and downstairs it was just talking and drinking and funky looking finger food.  She put in a Backstreet Boys cd and went and sat by her window.  From there, she could at least see the party.  She watched as someone threw a couple more logs on the fire.  She thought for a moment it was Zac, but upon closer inspection she decided they were too small to be him, but not skinny enough to be Taylor.  Although, she thought, he'd been eating so much lately he wasn't as thin as he'd been for awhile there.  In fact, a couple of her friends had grossed her out that week saying her brother had a "hot bod".

She looked down at her dress and smiled remembering she, Taylor, Megan and Michelle all standing in Rave Girl deciding how she should spend her $50.  The girls had pushed for quantity pointing out that if she shopped off the sale rack she could buy two skirts and three tops to go with them, but Taylor had preferred the black velvet dress she'd spied on the wall.  It had white feathery stuff around the sleeves that moved with the slightest breeze.  When the salesgirl had gotten it down though, she had been disappointed to find it was $62.50.  So, she decided to just put it out of her mind and follow her friends' sensible advice.  That hadn't been as simple as it should have been though, because Taylor didn't like how short some of the skirts were or how low cut some of the blouses were.  A compromise was reached after much debate and Taylor had ok'd one really short one if the others were a little more conservative.  "After all," he'd said, "what good are they if M-O-M won't let you W-E-A-R them?"

Once they'd gotten home, her mother had approved and had even complimented her on her economical purchases.  That had been two days ago and then this afternoon, she'd been totally blown away when Taylor had come in and dissed her choice of party wear and had presented her with the dress she'd loved so much.  She ran her fingers over the soft material, loving the feel of it and hoping her brother was having a good time at the party.

~~~~

"Where's L-E-E?"  Taylor asked.

"She left."  Isaac said softly.  He looked back at Taylor, "I guess we've been deserted again, huh?"  Isaac smiled.

"Yep."  Taylor mouthed and nodded.  "So, Zac, you were pretty popular tonight."

Zac rolled his eyes, "Oh yeah, girls always go for a guy who just wants to be left alone."

~~~~

It was driving Diana crazy, she just had to know what was going on out in the backyard.  Finally, she looked for Jessica, finding her upstairs in her room.  "Jess, would you do something for me?"

"Yeah, what?"  She stood up and walked towards her mother.

"You look so pretty in that dress."  Diana smiled, "what'd you get on Taylor for him to buy that for you?"

"Who, me?  Would I ever do that to my favorite brother?"  She said innocently, then twirled for her mother.  "I love it, did you feel it?"

Diana reached out and touched the thick velvet.  "Oooh, I want one."

Jessica watched her mother's eyes, "Well, what's up?"

Diana looked guilty for a moment then, quietly, after looking around, "Would you sneak out back and check on the boys?  But then, come right back, ok?  If you're not back in like, 5 minutes, I'm coming after you."

Jessica was thrilled.  "Yes!!  It is too boring in here!"  She exclaimed.

"Well, you're not going out there to join the party, I just want a report."  Diana stated.

"I know, I know."  She said, walking out ahead of her mother.  "Oh, hey..."  She said, turning.  "Can I take Sparky with me?  He's been scratching on Taylor's door.  He wants out."

Diana considered, "Little creep.  I put him in there so he wouldn't growl at anybody for sitting in 'his' seat."

"Well, maybe he's gotta go potty."  Jessica said.

"Yeah, you can take him, but get his leash.  Taylor would just die if anything happened to him and there's too many people out there, he might take off or something.  It's on the doorknob."

Jessica nodded, then went the other way towards her brother's room as her mother headed back down to be with her guests.  Jessica pulled the leash from the doorknob then twisted it, but when she opened the door, the little dog darted out past her and flew down the stairs.  "Uh-oh!"  She said and she followed as fast as she could, envisioning her parents' friends all being terrorized by the tiny mongrel.  But, when she got downstairs, all was as it should be.  She turned, listening.  He was scratching again, but not at the back door.  He was at the door to the basement.  She opened the door and off he went.

~~~~

Taylor looked up as he heard claws scrambling on the stairs and he saw Sparky changing towards him.  The little dog jumped over the coffee table and into his lap, licking his chin.  Zac and Isaac looked at each other and shook their heads.  Jessica was puzzled, when she reached the bottom of the stairs, there were her three brothers who were supposed to be throwing a party in the backyard, sitting on the sofa.  Taylor was in underwear covered with half-eaten chocolate chip cookies.  Cookie Monster's face was on one leg stating, "C is for cookie."

"Why are you all down here when all your friends are out there?"  She said, pointing at the window.

"Well, we weren't having much fun, so we came in."  Zac stated.

"Not much fun?"  She asked dryly.  Taylor shook his head.  "Um, ok.  Your underpants look nice with that nasty shirt Taylor.  I bet you were the life of the party."  She walked closer.  "Nice socks.  Oooh, nice big bloody, hairy leg too.  What'd you do, trip over a log or something?"  He grinned and nodded.   "Where's Lee?"  She asked Isaac.

"She went home."

Jessica looked at the VCR.  "It's not even midnight yet."  She said.

"She was tired."  He replied.

Jessica put her hands on her hips.  "Whatever.  I'm sure you guys did something bad, but I don't care, alright?  Just tell me if you're in for the night 'cuz I'm sick of all the dead heads upstairs."

Zac sighed.  "I'm partied out."

"Me too."  Isaac replied.  Taylor nodded.

"Ok, I'll be back in a minute.  Turn on Dick Clark or somethin'."  And she turned and ran up the stairs.  She found her mother and told her everything was fine and she'd be in the basement.  Then, she went and raided the food table and kitchen gathering up every bit of snack food, candy and party staple she could carry, plus a ziploc bag filled with ice for Taylor's leg and made her way back down to join her brothers.

Taylor's eyes lit up as she handed him the ice and he gave her the "I love you" sign.

"I love you, too."  She said back warily, "even if I don't trust you."  He looked at her with his big eyes and batted his eyelashes at her.  "Ha!  I can't wait to see what Calvin Klein does with you."  She said as she squeezed her way in between him and Isaac.  She took the remote from the table and turned on the tv, stopping at the first music she came to.  As her brothers all hissed and moaned, she smiled thinking it wouldn't turn out to be such a sucky New Year's Eve after all.

~~~~

At 11:49 Marcy's doorbell rang.  She sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.  It rang again.  "Alright!  Hang on!"  She said as she trudged over to the door.

She looked out the peep hole then opened the door to find Taylor standing there.  "Hey."  She said, "What're you doing here?"  He looked at her wide-eyed and pointed to his watch.  "Have we missed it?"  She asked.  He shook his head, then he shivered.  "Oh, sorry!  I'm not much of a night owl, you woke me up."  She said and she backed up, pulling him inside with her.

They sat on the couch together and she snuggled into him, now that she was awake, she felt chilly.  "So, what happened with your brothers?"  She said, yawning and closing her eyes.  When he never responded, she sat up and looked at him.  He had a lopsided grin and one eyebrow raised.  "Oh God.  I'm sorry, I forgot."  She said sheepishly.  "So, what happened with your brothers?"  She repeated.

"Not much."  He mouthed.

"Really?  I was a little afraid maybe you guys were going to end up going at it."

He sighed and shook his head. "That would not A-C-C-O-M-P-L-I-S-H anything."  He signed.

"Well, it never does, but that never keeps people from doing it."

He nodded, agreeing.  Just then, the clock struck twelve.  "Happy N-E-W  Y-E-A-R."  He signed and he leaned in towards her.

She watched as he closed his eyes and his lips parted.  He smelled of salt and campfires and when their lips met, she marveled at the softness of his kiss.   He put his hands in her hair, winding it around his fingers and she placed her hands first on his chest, then to his shoulders and finally around his neck.  He was still sticky from whatever he'd been doused with and she could taste it as well as feel it.   As the clock struck it's twelfth chime, she pulled back, taking a breath.  "Mmm, Happy New Year to you, too."  She looked at him again, people described his face as "perfect", but in reality, it was far from it.  He had a small scar under one eye and another on his lip, his hair hung in his eyes, eyes very nearly too big for his face and yet, these imperfections  she'd noticed, only served together to give his face it's perfection.

"What?"  He grinned.

"I swear, just when I've decided you're not worth all the trouble, you go and do something like that."  She said softly.

"What T-R-O-U-B-L-E ?"  He asked, his eyes shining mischievously.

"Taylor, I'm serious."  She said, and she backed away from him a little.

His eyebrows came together as he realized she really was serious.  "What's W-R-O-N-G ?"  He signed.

"Nothing's wrong..."  She started, but he interrupted her.

"Did I do something W-R-O-N-G?"  He asked, pointing to himself.

"No!  That was the most perfect New Year's kiss anybody has ever laid on me.  You haven't done anything wrong.  I just...  I feel like that Sheryl Crow song, y'know?  'Are you strong enough to be my man'?"

He started signing again.  "I know, but I start  C-O-U-N-S-E-L-I-N-G  this week in N-E-W  Y-O-R-K and I think I am doing better.  And I haven't gotten H-I-G-H or anything L-A-T-E-L-Y and..." 

With one hand, she stopped his signing and the other she put over his mouth.  "Stop interrupting me."  She said, getting eye to eye with him.  "I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to be your man, alright?"  She said.  He looked at her, puzzled.  "I mean, I want to be able to make you feel better when you're upset, or make you feel safe if you get scared..."  She wasn't even sure what she had wanted to tell him and his eyes watching her and his silence wasn't making it any easier.  "Taylor, I just don't know if you need some little hometown girl , you know?  I mean, I know Ike kind of pushed you into something here and I also know that you could have your pick of millions of beautiful girls..."  He rolled his eyes and shook his head.  "Yes!  You could.  Still.  I know it Taylor.  I have to listen to it at school all day."

He stood up.  "Is that what this is all about?  Is someone B-O-T-H-E-R-I-N-G  you about us?"  He asked.

"Taylor, I don't even know if there is an 'us'."

Suddenly, he stomped his foot, startling her.  "Why!!?" 

Marcy was taken aback.  "Uh, what do you mean 'why'?"

He stepped closer to her and his eyebrows had come together again.  "Why isn't there an U-S?"  He signed.  "Because I never said M-A-R-C-Y  will you be my girl?  Or because I never gave you some C-L-A-S-S   R-I-N-G  or some S-H-I-T like that?!"  He looked away from her and took a deep breath.  When his eyes returned to hers, they were softer.  "What are you saying M-A-R-C-Y?" 

She stood up now.  "I'm saying that..."  She paused.  "That, after your experiences of the last six months or so, that I would understand if you didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone.  And that, even if you do, I'm not sure I'm the right girl for the job."  She looked at him hoping he was understanding, " I get so scared when something happens, y'know?  I'm used to being in control and I'm not used to crazy situations which seem to follow you wherever you go.  I just don't know if I'm supposed to be here right now with Taylor Hanson.  Like, there's been some cosmic mistake."  She looked up at him and his face had gone expressionless again.  "What?"  She said.

"I did not want to I-N-T-E-R-U-P-T."  He signed.

"I'm finished."

"You S-U-R-E ?" 

She swatted him on his shoulder.  "Yes, I'm sure."

"Ok, first," and he held up one finger.  "If you talk to L-E-E , she will tell you there ARE no cosmic mistakes, everything happens for a R-E-A-S-O-N." 

"Yeah, but..."

He stomped his foot again.  "MY TURN !!!"  He signed.  She smiled and gestured for him to continue.  "Second,"  and he held up two fingers.  "I do what I want with who I want, and third," he held up three fingers.  "If you don't like me or if you are trying to get R-I-D of me, just do it.  But if not, then would you go out with me tomorrow night?  Just you and me—no B-R-O-T-H-E-R-S." 

She stood there a moment just looking at him.  "Hmmm, where do you want to go?"

He smiled and put her arms around her.  "Hometown girl, my ass."  He muttered.
 
 
 

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