A collection of Baseball quotes, happenings or ideas I have found of interest.

The three best Bob Hamelin lines: (1) ''The Red Sox replaced Mo Vaughn's on-base percentage with Jose Offerman, and now they've signed Hamelin to fill his uniform''; (2) ''Hamelin and Rich Garces made the Top 10 list of players who would look good in a Santa Claus suit''; (3) From an NL scout's actual report: ''His best tool is his fork.''

Pirates left fielder Al Martin went into the third row in foul territory to make a highlight catch. Earlier in the season, right fielder Turner Ward ran through a wooden fence to make another highlight catch. Which was better? ``His was an aerodynamic pirouette,'' said Ward. ``Mine was brutal stupidity.''

"There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither one of them works." Charlie Lau

"The toughest thing for me as a young manager is that a lot of my players saw me play. They know how bad I was." Tony LaRussa 1983

"I knew we were in for a long season when we lined up for the national anthem on opening day and one of my players said, 'Every time I hear that song I have a bad game.'" Jim Leland as Pirate manager

"You have a left and a right. The left side controls the right half of your body, and the right side controls the left half. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right mind." Bill Lee on the hemispheres of the brain

"You know Earl. He's not happy unless he's not happy." Elrod Hendricks on Earl Weaver

" The right fielder has to be very careful when a fight breaks out and the benches empty. He's always got his back to the enemy bullpen."Seattle right fielder, Mike Hegan 1969

"No matter how long a man remains in baseball he always hankers and looks forward to opening days, and beleive you me, it takes a young player a long, long time to get over those opening day butterflies and discover finally that he really is an old pro." Tommy Henrich 1959

"I don't do it for money. The longer I stay away from training camp, the less chance I have of being hit by a fly ball." Babe Herman on reporting late

"Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it." Whitey Herzog

"Branca pitches and Bobby Thomson takes a strike called on the inside corner.... Bobby's hitting at .292. He's had a single and a double and he drove in the Giant's first run with a long fly to center.... Brooklyn leads 4-2.... Hartung down the line at third, not taking any chances. Lockman without too big a lead at second, but he'll be running like the wind if Thomson hits one....Branca throws. There's a long fly. It's gonna be...I believe...THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT!.... Bobby hit that ball into the lower deck of the left field stands....The Giants win the pennant and they're going crazy, they're going crazy. I don't believe it, I don't believe it, I will not believe it!" Russ Hodges, Oct 3, 1951

"When I'm on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo." Al Hrabosky

"Well fellers, I found a way to get that dude out." Bill Hubbell as a pitcher for the Phils after a Rogers Hornsby line drive caromed off his forehead and was caught by third baseman Russ Wrightstone.

"He'd give you the shirt off his back. Of course, he'd call a press conference to announce it." Jim "Catfish" Hunter on Reggie Jackson

"It's always the same, Combs walks, Koenig singles. Ruth hits one out of the park. Gerhig doubles, Lazzeri triples. Then Dugan goes in the dirt on his can." Joe Dugan

"You give 100% in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left." Yogi Berra

"Whenever I see a batter digging a hole with his back foot I want to come off the mound and tell him not to bother. He's only gonna have to dig himself a new hole after my next pitch." Dave Garcia 1956

"He's even tempered. He comes to the ballpark mad and he stays that way." Joe Garagiola on Rick Burlson

"It was impossible to watch him at bat without experiencing an emotion. I have seen hundreds of ballplayers at the plate, and none of them managed to convey the message of impending doom to a pitcher that Babe Ruth did with the cock of his head, the postion of his legs and the little gentle waving of the bat, feathered in his two big paws." Paul Gallico, sportswriter, on Babe Ruth

"He has muscles in his hair." Lefty Gomez describing Jimmie Foxx

"He's in a rut. Gehringer goes two for five on Opening Day and stays that way all season." Lefty Gomez on Charlie Gehringer

"I don't want to throw him nothin'. Maybe he'll just get tired of waitin' and leave." Lefty Gomez to catcher, Bill Dickey on what pitch to throw to Jimmie Foxx

"When you win, you eat better, sleep better and your beer tastes better. And your wife looks like Gina Lollobrigida." Red Sox manager, Johnny Pesky, 1963

"That last one sounded kinda high to me." Babe Ruth questioning an umpire after three fast pitches he failed to see.

"When I negotiated Bob Stanley's contract with the Red Sox, we had statistics demonstrating he was the third-best pitcher in the league. They had a chart showing he was the sixtyth-best pitcher on the Red Sox." Bob Woolf, agent

"Aw, how could he lose the ball in the sun? He's from Mexico." Harry Carey on Jorge Orta

"If you get to one base and you see the ball on the ground in the outfield, run like hell to the next base." Zoilo Versalles on running bases

"The trouble with baseball today is that most of the players are in the game for the money that's in it--not for the love of it, the excitement of it and the thrill of it." Ty Cobb, 1925

Casey Stengel was asked to appear before the Senate during the 1958 Congressional hearing investigation on the need for baseball antitrust legislation....

Senator Langer: "I want to know whether you intend to keep on monopolizing the world's championship in New York City?"

Mr. Stengel: "Well, I will tell you. I got a little concern yesterday in the first three innings when I saw the three players I had gotten rid of, and I said when I lost nine what am I going to do and when I had a couple of my players I thought so great of that did not do so good up to the sixth inning I was more confused but I finally had to go and call on a young man in Baltimore that we don't own and the Yankees don't own him, and he is doing pretty good, and I would actually have to tell you that I think we are more the Greta Garbo type now from success. We are being hated, I mean, from the ownership and all, we are being hated. Every sport that gets too great or one individual--but if we made 27 cents and it pays to have a winner at home, why would you have a good winner in your own park if you were an owner? That is the result of baseball. An owner gets most of the money at home and it is up to him and his staff to do better or they ought to be discharged."

Later, after Mr. Stengel was done enlightning the Senate, Mickey Mantle was called to testify.

Senator Kefauver: "Thank you very much, Mr. Stengel. We appreciate your presence here. Mr. Mickey Mantle, will you come around?....Mr. Mantle, do you have any observations--with reference to the applicatility of the antitrust laws to baseball?"

Mr. Mantle: "My views are just about the same as Casey's"

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