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There are those who may respond openly and readily to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Then, conversely, there are those whom I would place in the category of "hard cases". We all would prefer to deal with the easy ones but very few have any desire at all to witness to the hard case. I've read witnessing programs that encourage one to avoid the hard case. Hard cases can be very discouraging to the person new at witnessing. However, avoiding them is not the answer. God aches for those that are difficult. We need to prepare ourselves to work with them.
Now, there are all types of hard cases. Atheists, agnostics, cultists, witches, gang members and the like could be considered very difficult for Christians to deal with. There are common requirements involved when witnessing to all these groups. Although this subject is worthy of a book, I'd like to briefly touch on a few of the commonalities while leaning a little more toward dealing with those that don't necessarily fit under these headings. They would still be considered hard cases. I'd like to discuss how to deal with the angry, resentful, disillusioned, apathetic, wounded, and bruised. Something I run into a lot in our area.
God has a real heart for these people. If you read Luke 4:18 (sound familiar?), Jesus says that he was anointed to preach to the poor, heal the brokenhearted, preach deliverance to captives, give sight to the blind, and liberate those that are bruised. These are some pretty hard cases. Since He is now in heaven, as the body of Christ we are to carry on this work which He "began both to do and teach" (Acts 1:1). Jesus said in John 17:18-20 that as God had sent Him into the world, he has sent us into the world. We are to do the works that He did (John 14:12) and even greater works. You might say that WE are anointed to do what is written in Luke 4:18. As I've often said, Luke 4:18 should be our calling card.
Hard cases weren't always hard cases. There are reasons that they became hard. Many of them have very tender and soft hearts underneath that angry exterior. What can we do to help them? What should be our approach?
First, we must rid ourselves of all fear of them. Like us, they are just human beings. They, though, are hiding behind a wall of anger or other emotional protection. They do not desire to be hard, they just can't afford to let their guard down. It is too hurtful. The reason for their tough exterior may be justified or unjustified, imagined or real. Either way, it is a learned method of dealing with life and the pain of life. They are screaming for help behind that wall and they're daring anyone to try. You must not be afraid to try. You must be, and they must know that you are, up to the task. You must let them know, up front, that they do not scare you one little bit. They may be unbearable and make rude and shocking statements. It is not personal. They are just testing you. Are you up to the job at hand or are you just going to run away and hide behind a church pew? Let them know that you are going to love them no matter how bad they behave. Like the One you represent, your love for them is not conditional.
Once you have shown them that they can't frighten you off. They may begin to open up a little. You must proceed slowly, making a little progress each time you meet. Throw all your acquired "Christianese" out the door. Christianese is that church language that we all speak when in, well, church. It means nothing to the person you're dealing with. Be very real with them. Speak their language. As they open up, they'll begin slowly revealing themselves. Let them know that they can say absolutely anything to you and you will not run away in terror. (And be sure that you don't.)
Identify with them. Instead of placing yourself between them and God, place yourself beside them. Like them, you are trying to get through life. In church, we sometimes learn to pretend. We pretend everything is okay when we are hurting. We pretend we are happy when we aren't. We soon forget how to just be real with people, be who we are. As you deal with your hard case, they'll say some things that you can identify with. Let them know that you have experienced similar things. If they say they've been hurt in church, identify with that. If they say that they feel God doesn't love them, identify. Be honest with them. One of Jesus' greatest tools was that He identified with them. He was a man of sorrows (Isaiah 53:3), persecuted by the religious system of His day.
Be transparent. There are things in my past that I will not reveal to anyone, not even fellow Christians. I have, though, revealed them to a few hard cases. Why? Because it made me vulnerable. Revealing things about yourself makes you vulnerable. It implies a trust in the one to whom you are making these revelations. You don't want to be a loose canon, but for them to be willing to be vulnerable to you, you may have to first be vulnerable to them. When they see that, they will begin to open the flood gates. The conversation will change. They may begin to reveal why they are angry, why they became disillusioned, why they rejected Christianity. Let them talk. Listen. Don't run away. As they open up more and more, having you be real, transparent, vulnerable, and loving, they will begin to heal inside. As they share, God will be doing a work in their hearts. You'll begin to see remarkable improvement.
Resist the urge to insist that they go to church with you (or at all). Let them do that when they're good and ready. Its fine to invite them, but required church attendance can be understood as a behavioral condition that they must meet in order for you to continue with them. Don't make it a big deal. Just let these encounters be between you two with no strings attached.
Be long on understanding and short on judgmentalism. This does not mean to shun the truth. Deal truthfully but gently. As a popular speaker likes to say, don't try to be Holy Ghost, Jr.. It doesn't mean anything goes. It just means to understand that you are dealing with someone with bigger problems than incorrect doctrine or carnal attitudes. They may have sin in their life but, unless they are willing to deal with it right away (and they usually aren't), that can be dealt with at a later time. Concentrate on getting them to a point where they will be healthy enough, spiritually, to deal with their sin. I've heard of preachers that go onto Death Row and berate the prisoner for smoking. Come on! Get a grip! Bigger things are at stake. Now, if they are hurting others, you may have to act immediately. You have to ask yourself the question, "Is this the hill I'm willing to kill our relationship and progress on?".
Be compassionate. Jesus was extremely compassionate. Honest compassion will go a long, long way when helping the helpless. We are instructed to rejoice with those that rejoice and weep with those that weep (Romans 12:15). Groucho Marx once said, "The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you've got it made." Don't fake compassion. Agonize with them. Cry with them. Hurt with them. Be human with them.
Lastly, be very patient. Don't push it. Let them progress at their own speed. If you push, you may well lose them completely. Its not your job to make them healthy. It may take a while for them to get to that point. Its your job to be a tool to God as He makes them healthy. God cares very deeply about the hard cases. As we minister, keep the attitude that Christ had when He said, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-30).
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