Have I Made Myself Clear?  by Lisa Wheeler

Life can take turns one never expects. Due to illness, divorce or death, you may find yourself no longer accompanied by your spouse. Instead, you may face some usual activities that have taken an unusual twist leaving you in awkward spots from time to time.

Perhaps you are not the lone person, but you encounter them in your public serving. Your sensitivity and understanding could go a long way in ensuring a pleasant experience for the one left alone.

Take a look at the following examples; perhaps both parties can gain helpful insights, therefore easing potential emotionally sensitive encounters:

Imagine for a moment that you are alone; you are going to get a bite to eat at a sit down restaurant. Here are some helpful hints that could be of use.

At the Restaurant: Greet the hostess cheerfully, "Just me this time...Could I have a booth (...table...seat...) near the front (...window...television...)?"  Many times, it seems that the greeters assume you are waiting for someone else to arrive and do not address you right away. Don't blast them...be gentle.

At the Table...if the wait staff has not acknowledged you: Gently stop a manager or wait person and sweetly inquire, "Do you know whose area I am in? No one has come over yet." My experience has been that the best way to get good service is to be a good customer.

When you feel your eyes welling up with tears and you need to leave...soon!: Ask for your check and a 'to go' box stating pleasantly, "I am almost out of time^*!" even if your meal has just arrived.

^*Translation:  I am almost out of time if I am going to leave with my composure intact.

[Now, maybe you have all day with no set plans to rush off to, but for your emotional health...and in order to exit before the teardrops begin sliding down your cheeks, time becomes an issue.]

When you feel the 'call of nature' while dining alone: Discreetly leave word with your server that you are not finished, but must step away from the table for a few moments. This could save you and the server a lot of embarrassment if you return to finish your dinner only to find it cleared away by the efficient table busing employees.

Make it a point to 'catch' the name of your seating host/hostess, server, and any managers working the dining room: I have found that one of the biggest antidotes for 'invisibility' is to be aware of those around you. Kindly call them by name; people do notice and appreciate this. Consider how frequently a server's name is only mentioned when the diner is dissatisfied. Choose to be a positive patron; it will lessen your stress, your server's stress, and will aid in the staff being receptive if you do ever need to address something of an unpleasant nature.

As we walk out our lives on this earth, knowing that others, as well as ourselves, can be experiencing pain that is not outwardly noticeable, treat each other kindly for the rewards will be great as you bless those around you.